Thread: Why are you always late for things, something else and fun or work?

I wait in a parking lot around the corner until im late.
Gotta look like your busy doing important things.

I am guilty of this sometimes.

I'm late everyday lol. I work during off-hours so being late during regular business hours, I don't care.

I am *never* late. I am early even when I try to be a little late.

I get antsy and extremely fidgety if I am running late.

Because everyone is moving like snails whenever I need to get someplace, and the universe conspires against me....like today I left my house with 40 minutes to get to work, it takes me 20-25 minutes in usual traffic. I stopped at the store to get coffee and what not, no one was in there....after I got my coffee and headed to the counter from out of no where this woman is at the counter with 20 things she'd had stashed earlier while she went home to get her EBT card I guess, and her 2 kids were kneeling behind the candy rack for that whole time and still took 2 minutes to choose which candy to grab....so they run the EBT card and that takes forever because at that moment at 6:25 in the morning every EBT recpient must have been out, and then beast mother wants "cigarette", or as she said "I like cigarette, the cheapest kine you gots", so the clerk grabs a box and lays it down, saying $5 dollar something....she asks "How many I get fo' $4 dollah .35 cent....clerk, korean guy, doesn't want to miss this chance to make a grimy penny starts to do a calculation....opens the pack takes out a few and tells her that many showing the box...she say, "ok I like..." dumps a paper bag of coins on the counter and starts to count what looks like the scraping of her coin jar, no quarters or dimes. just nickels and pennies....finally I get my stuff paid for and get in the car the clock says I now only have 28 minutes....so I pull out of the store lot and get jammed up at a stop light by the Army PT group that runs by my neighborhood, then I get going on the main road out of town to the highway and I'm stuck behind tourists doing 10 under the limit 2 of them in Jeeps side by side blocking any chance of passing, and ensuring we hit every red light...what should take me 3 minutes to traverse to get on the highway now burns 7 minutes....but I'm ok still plenty of time I get up to the on ramp....a bus decides to break down on the shoulder making everyone need to change lanes so now we are crawling, ok passed that 16 minutes to get to work, if I can do 55 the whole way I am gravy...get on and there is a pack 6 deep shoulder to shoulder in front of me headed by three pace cars, one in each lane holding us all back at 40 miles per and they are all headed to where I am. Behind me I see the cars just stacking up 20 deep now in all three lanes as we start up a hill, as we top it I see in front of the pace cars a gap 500 yards and growing to the next set of cars and they are staggered just right for weaving, but here we are stuck behind these inconsiderate douche nozzles....all I could think is this had to be scripted, these 3 people planned this out last night and they are torturing us worker bees who just need to get to work....I can see ahead one guy is pissed throwing his hands up....another guy 2 lanes over I hear his engine revving, the guy behind me get right up on my bumper and then brakes hard and then speeds up to my bumber over and over like his invisible inertia will have a domino effect and eventually reach the first car flinging it forward and opening up our lane....I am now definitely going to be late, no question....I am passed the point where if I broke away and could do 80+ to my off ramp I could still make it, so I just turn up my music really fucking loud and yell the words to let out my steam....eventually about 1/2 a mile from my exit some one enters the on ramp and is going slower than one of the pace cars and you see cars start filtering through the gap, from the air it had to look like an uncorked barrel, I can see cars shooting out in front and I get my chance and switch lanes while gunning my engine, my BMW lurches forth and we rocket past pace car left and right, I then immediately cut back into the left "fast lane" and one of the many "Slower Traffic Keep Right" signs is there so I brake and thrust my fist out the window so the pace car behind me is alert and point to the sign and then flip him the bird as I punch it shooting from just over 40 to 80 in a blink, I then switch across 2 lanes and onto my exit with one swift yank and let off the gas, I am 4 minutes late....I get into the indistrial district where our offices are and just my luck a container truck is bcking into a warehouse holding up traffic for 2 minutes....by the time I get to work my clock says I am 7 minutes late, but our office clock says I am 15 minutes late.....of course some co-worker who wanted to leave a bit earlier on Friday must have set it fast making me look like a total slack off loser being 15 minutes late....
Just Comedy of Scenarios I run into all of the fucking time....I could have left an hour early and somehow there would have been a 20 car pile up, the truck driver would have had a trainee who took 20 minutes or something, anything to make sure I was late today, I have just come to accept that the universe hates me and will throw anything in my way to test my patience....maybe there is a God and he thinks I am funny when I get pissed off....

I hit the road every morning at a time when I know I can get to where I need to go and get there a little early if not on time. And I don't speed, drive like a douche, etc. I just putter along with the flow of traffic and not worry.

have to make a entrance right. fashionably late lol

Because the gray area between late and to late is much more interesting than waiting. I hate waiting.

Originally Posted by maniclion

Because everyone is moving like snails whenever I need to get someplace, and the universe conspires against me....like today I left my house with 40 minutes to get to work, it takes me 20-25 minutes in usual traffic. I stopped at the store to get coffee and what not, no one was in there....after I got my coffee and headed to the counter from out of no where this woman is at the counter with 20 things she'd had stashed earlier while she went home to get her EBT card I guess, and her 2 kids were kneeling behind the candy rack for that whole time and still took 2 minutes to choose which candy to grab....so they run the EBT card and that takes forever because at that moment at 6:25 in the morning every EBT recpient must have been out, and then beast mother wants "cigarette", or as she said "I like cigarette, the cheapest kine you gots", so the clerk grabs a box and lays it down, saying $5 dollar something....she asks "How many I get fo' $4 dollah .35 cent....clerk, korean guy, doesn't want to miss this chance to make a grimy penny starts to do a calculation....opens the pack takes out a few and tells her that many showing the box...she say, "ok I like..." dumps a paper bag of coins on the counter and starts to count what looks like the scraping of her coin jar, no quarters or dimes. just nickels and pennies....finally I get my stuff paid for and get in the car the clock says I now only have 28 minutes....so I pull out of the store lot and get jammed up at a stop light by the Army PT group that runs by my neighborhood, then I get going on the main road out of town to the highway and I'm stuck behind tourists doing 10 under the limit 2 of them in Jeeps side by side blocking any chance of passing, and ensuring we hit every red light...what should take me 3 minutes to traverse to get on the highway now burns 7 minutes....but I'm ok still plenty of time I get up to the on ramp....a bus decides to break down on the shoulder making everyone need to change lanes so now we are crawling, ok passed that 16 minutes to get to work, if I can do 55 the whole way I am gravy...get on and there is a pack 6 deep shoulder to shoulder in front of me headed by three pace cars, one in each lane holding us all back at 40 miles per and they are all headed to where I am. Behind me I see the cars just stacking up 20 deep now in all three lanes as we start up a hill, as we top it I see in front of the pace cars a gap 500 yards and growing to the next set of cars and they are staggered just right for weaving, but here we are stuck behind these inconsiderate douche nozzles....all I could think is this had to be scripted, these 3 people planned this out last night and they are torturing us worker bees who just need to get to work....I can see ahead one guy is pissed throwing his hands up....another guy 2 lanes over I hear his engine revving, the guy behind me get right up on my bumper and then brakes hard and then speeds up to my bumber over and over like his invisible inertia will have a domino effect and eventually reach the first car flinging it forward and opening up our lane....I am now definitely going to be late, no question....I am passed the point where if I broke away and could do 80+ to my off ramp I could still make it, so I just turn up my music really fucking loud and yell the words to let out my steam....eventually about 1/2 a mile from my exit some one enters the on ramp and is going slower than one of the pace cars and you see cars start filtering through the gap, from the air it had to look like an uncorked barrel, I can see cars shooting out in front and I get my chance and switch lanes while gunning my engine, my BMW lurches forth and we rocket past pace car left and right, I then immediately cut back into the left "fast lane" and one of the many "Slower Traffic Keep Right" signs is there so I brake and thrust my fist out the window so the pace car behind me is alert and point to the sign and then flip him the bird as I punch it shooting from just over 40 to 80 in a blink, I then switch across 2 lanes and onto my exit with one swift yank and let off the gas, I am 4 minutes late....I get into the indistrial district where our offices are and just my luck a container truck is bcking into a warehouse holding up traffic for 2 minutes....by the time I get to work my clock says I am 7 minutes late, but our office clock says I am 15 minutes late.....of course some co-worker who wanted to leave a bit earlier on Friday must have set it fast making me look like a total slack off loser being 15 minutes late....
Just Comedy of Scenarios I run into all of the fucking time....I could have left an hour early and somehow there would have been a 20 car pile up, the truck driver would have had a trainee who took 20 minutes or something, anything to make sure I was late today, I have just come to accept that the universe hates me and will throw anything in my way to test my patience....maybe there is a God and he thinks I am funny when I get pissed off....

If you punch a timeclock and are seven minutes late, that mofo should round you back to the top of the hour. That's how the clocks work here, anyway. I know...I programmed them.

Eight minutes late though you'd be focked. Seven minutes rounds you back, eight minutes rounds you forward.