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this made me lol

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  1. #1
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    this made me lol

    Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
    This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.
    I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.
    I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind.
    Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.
    It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.
    Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.
    You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know. . . But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?
    In the end I thought, nothing for it, I'll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.
    Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice . . ." I mean, it doesn't really work.
    We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.
    Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.
    The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.
    (Excerpted from "The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time" by Douglas Adams)

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  2. #2
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    I think it's a great story, hilarious. Thanks.

  3. #3
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    you're welcome. i knew it was too much reading for some.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






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    I never saw the punchline coming -- hallmark of classic humor.

  5. #5
    .45 ACP rules!


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  6. #6
    Glad I could help!
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  7. #7
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    So the guy was taking his cookies and putting them under the other guy's newspaper?
    “I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.”

  8. #8
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    the writer had been taking the other guys cookies thinking they were his
    funny story
    May the plop be on you.

  9. #9
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    I thought it was pretty funny.
    DRSE Reconnaissance


  10. #10
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    If you strike me down(ban me)I'll become more powerful than ever.. Don't say i don't warn you.


  11. #11
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    Douglas was a witty cat man....
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by KelJu View Post
    So the guy was taking his cookies and putting them under the other guy's newspaper?

    there were two bags of cookies. the writer didn't realize his cookies were hidden under the paper so he thought the stranger was eating his cookies. he thought the stranger was weird but to the stranger the writer was a weird dude eating his cookies. the stranger never knows the punchline because he never gets let in on the fact there are two bags of cookies.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  13. #13
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    it good read. funny lw

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    Love the analogy he makes about people jumping IMMEDIATELY for their but in UK, they would use their
    Great one LW.
    Senior citizen at work, don't bugg me.

  15. #15
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    OH and the answer always 43!!!


    *What does he mean by dat???*
    Senior citizen at work, don't bugg me.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dero View Post
    OH and the answer always 43!!!


    *What does he mean by dat???*
    Don't Panic but the answer is 42...
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    you're welcome. i knew it was too much reading for some.
    What a bitch! I found it first!
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  18. #18
    Voodoo Doll
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    sorry.


    credit goes to SYN. i usually have something interesting from her waiting for me every morning. it used to be in her diaper now it's on yahoo.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    sorry.


    credit goes to SYN. i usually have something interesting from her waiting for me every morning. it used to be in her diaper now it's on yahoo.
    You two are an unusual, and very fetching pair. Pals? Related?

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2tomlinson View Post
    You two are an unusual, and very fetching pair. Pals? Related?
    DUH?

    Have Problems?... Chances are its due to overpopulation
    Save The Oceans, Save the Planet, Save Your Family, Save Yourself!



  21. #21
    Voodoo Doll
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2tomlinson View Post
    You two are an unusual, and very fetching pair. Pals? Related?
    SYN is my daughter, Tesla.

    you don't get what you wish for ~ you get what you work for

    ...






  22. #22
    SYN
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Wing View Post
    SYN is my daughter, Tesla.
    little.girl.little.girl.you.should.close.your.eyes .that.view.is.gettin'.me.high

  23. #23
    IDIOT SAVANT
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    Quote Originally Posted by SYN View Post
    Yeah, no shit. You two could have milked that for MONTHS.
    Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

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