Emails from an asshole (dontevenreply.com)
Results 1 to 8 of 8
-
01-19-2011, 05:49 PM #1Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396362507
Emails from an asshole (dontevenreply.com)
Original ad:
i want to get back into shape and am looking for a jogging partner. i always run better if i can keep the pace with someone else as i am sure other fellow runners know. i only work afternoons so i can run during the morning or night, doesnt matter much to me. shoot me an email if you want to be running partners
From Me to *************@*******.org:
Dear New Running Partner,
Hello! My name is Mustafi Chukwuemeka Adetokunbo, but my friends call me Wuemeka. I have just moved to Philadelphia from Kenya and I too am looking for a running partner. I run for twelve miles every morning, and another eight at night. I now run a 4 minute mile. I know this is slow, but no worry, I am aiming to run a 3:50 mile by next month. I most look forward to running with you, my new friend! Please respond with your contact information and where you would like to run. I am not so acquainted with Philadelphia, but I would prefer to run in densely forested areas if you know of any.
Run with you soon,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
wow man are you for real? theres no frickin way i can run a 4 minute mile!!!!!!!
From Me to Steve *****::
Dear Steve,
I am sorry to hear you cannot run a 4 minute mile. I can slow down my pace if you would like. How does a 4 minute 30 second mile sound?
Warm regards,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
HAH! dude i can run a 9 minute mile on a good day. thats it. im not training for the freaking olympics here...
From Me to Steve *****::
Nine minutes? Why are you so slow, friend? Nine minutes! Man oh man, is that slow! In my country, you would not survive! You would be eaten by a lion or speared by a rhino! I am very sorry for you my friend. You remind me of my last running partner Jumu, he was eaten by a cheetah!
Good day to you,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
yeah well this isnt africa this is PHILLY. we have crackheads here, not rhinos or cheetahs or elephants and we sure as shit dont have rainforests. come on man are you stupid?
From Me to Steve *****::
I am not stupid, you are the stupid one my friend! We will see who is the stupid one when you are being chased by a lion! We have a word for fools like you in Kenya - KUMAMAKO!
From Steve ***** to Me:
leave me the fuck alone jumanji!Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
01-19-2011, 06:25 PM #2Amateur Gynecologist ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Gender
- Location
- Show Me State
- Posts
- 11,053
- Rep Points
- 866227410
DRSE Reconnaissance
-
01-19-2011, 06:55 PM #3Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396362507
Comatose Grandma Sitter
Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:58:37
What a bitch!
Original ad:
hi there i am a 22 year old female babysitter looking for a job. i am available pretty much all the time so if you need someone to look after your kid, let me know!
From Timmy Tucker to **********@***********.org
Hey,
I saw your ad about babysitting and am very interested. My grandmother is in the hospital and is probably going to die. She is never awake when I am there, and the doctors say she is only awake for about 5 minutes every couple of days. The problem is, I need her to sign a re-drafted will I wrote so I can get all of her stuff when she dies. Right now she has all of her money going to my bitch sister and her family. I don't have the time to sit there and watch her all day because I have better things to do. I need you to sit at the hospital and watch her in case she wakes up, and then make her sign the will. I will pay you $10 an hour for this job.
Thanks,
Tim
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
no thanks that is sick! show some sympathy you prick!
From Timmy Tucker to **********@gmail.com
Obviously I am not offering you enough money. I will pay you $15 an hour, but in return I need you to unplug her life support after you get her to sign the will.
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
YOU ARE FUCKING SICK I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL
From Timmy Tucker to **********@gmail.com
You clearly do not have the right mindset to enter the fast-paced industry of babysitting. I will find a babysitter that has a little bit more balls than you.
From ***********@gmail.com to Me
FUCK OFFCoarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
01-19-2011, 07:01 PM #4Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396362507
This one is great....
E-mails from an AssholeCoarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
01-19-2011, 07:20 PM #5Amateur Gynecologist ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Gender
- Location
- Show Me State
- Posts
- 11,053
- Rep Points
- 866227410
Wow!
DRSE Reconnaissance
-
01-19-2011, 07:27 PM #6Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Gender
- Location
- Mēns Incognita
- Posts
- 25,581
- Rep Points
- 396362507
Me and my friend were reading these last night while doing prips, there's one called the Shaniqua Chronicles where the woman can't figure out she is being fucked with so he just keeps fucking with her.....
It's like Jerky Boys in the computer age....Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
-
01-19-2011, 08:54 PM #7tiger pump it bitches!
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Gender
- Location
- Hoss, Indianer
- Posts
- 631
- Rep Points
- 102578609
if you want a message from an asshole just pm me.
lifting music. press play and pump it.
http://www.myspace.com/strangewarmtrout
-
01-20-2011, 06:39 AM #8Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Gender
- Location
- North of Cuba
- Posts
- 3,527
- Rep Points
- 307624310
lol
" A cookie without sugar is just a cracker" ~ ancient voodoo proverb
"A man with infinite patience is never left waiting."~ROID's past incarnation
NOW AVAILABLE!!!
Super-DMZ Rx™ Pro-Hormone (Superdrol Dymethazine)
ASIA PHARMA GMP
BRITISH DRAGON GMP
FREE SAMPLES
OFFER AND KITS- BUY 1 GET 1 FREE
Reply With Quote
Similar Threads
-
I apologize for any emails!
By Prince in forum Open ChatReplies: 1Last Post: 12-23-2003, 09:44 AM -
Emails
By Jill in forum Help DeskReplies: 4Last Post: 11-25-2003, 12:30 PM
Posting Permissions
DISCLAIMER:
All health, fitness, diet, nutrition & supplement information presented on IronMagazineForums.com's pages is intended as an educational resource and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website. As well as any exercise technique or regimen, diet, supplement, etc., particularly if you are pregnant or nursing, or if you are elderly or have chronic or recurring medical conditions. Discontinue any exercise that causes you pain or severe discomfort and consult a medical expert. The statements made about products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or health care practitioner regarding the suggestions and recommendations made at IronMagazineForums.com. Neither the author of the information, nor the producer, nor distributors of such information make any warranty of any kind in regard to the content of the information presented on this website. Except as specifically stated on this site, neither IronMagazineForums.com, nor any of its authors or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of, or in connection with the use of this site. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory, direct, indirect or consequential damages, loss of data, income or profit, loss of or damage to property and claims of third parties. Sponsors pay for advertising space, we have no affiliation with the companies that have banners displayed on our websites. Please be advised it is your responsibility to check the laws that govern your country, state, or province in regards to items offered by some companies you may read about on this site.