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How to Fight

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Thread: How to Fight

  1. #1
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    How to Fight

    The summer I turned 6 years old, some of the neighborhood boys started bullying me. Back then, I owned a pair of cabbage patch kid roller-skates and my favorite activity was skating around the block singing nursery rhymes at the top of my lungs. One day, a few boys in the 8-10 range thought it would be pretty humorous to push me around and watch me flail. I tried to run from them, but I couldn’t skate faster than they could run. They taunted me for a while and then knocked me down. Angry, humiliated, and with two freshly skinned knees, I did what any 6 year old girl would do in my position.

    I went home and told my Dad.

    My Father was an ex marine and always preached the benefits of learning self defense. Unlike most parents, he had no interest in calling the parents of my bullies to ‘open up a dialogue’ or some other such tripe. Instead, he planned to teach me to kick a little ass.

    My Mother balked at this idea. She didn’t think little girls should be fighting. Little girls were supposed to have tea parties and then play dress up. Fighting was for little boys.

    “What if someday a vicious serial killer kidnaps her?” my Father asked, “Do you want her to die weeping and begging for her life? Or would you rather she have the courage to wrench the knife from the killer’s hand and stab him in the throat?”

    He paused, mid tirade, and said to me, “If that ever happens, V, stab and twist. Stab and twist.”

    With my Mother temporarily mollified, My Father took me into the back yard to teach me how to fight.

    Nervously, I explained to my Father that not only was I outnumbered by the boys, but they were bigger and stronger than I was. There was no way that I could beat them. My Father merely brushed my fears aside. He said that while they had the advantage of size and strength on their side, I could develop my own advantages. Here are some tips that he gave me:

    1. Always Respond to Threats with Complete Confidence
    Sometimes all it takes to make a bully re-think pounding you into a pulp is to make it very clear to him exactly how unafraid you are of a physical confrontation. When a bully threatens you, he is trying to invoke in you some fear in which he can feed off of. If you respond to his threats with confidence, even eagerness, it will give him a pause. If he doesn’t chicken out right then and there, he will enter the fight with a slight feeling of unease. His apprehension is your advantage.

    2. Fighting Dirty is Fighting Smart
    A fist fight isn’t the same as a karate tournament with judges and points. Your opponent is trying to hurt you, so don’t let some silly moral argument prevent you from kicking the little bastard in the nuts. Throw sand in his eyes, kick him in the back of the knees, bite him, or punch him in the stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of him. If he’s got you pinned down and you happen to see a rock out of the corner of your eye? Don’t be afraid to grab that rock and smash his face with it. There is no shiny trophy waiting for you at the end of this fight, so everything goes.

    3. Talk Some Shit
    Nothing will rattle your opponent faster than you screaming a steady stream of shit at him while you’re engaged in combat. The crazier you sound the better. If you can’t think of anything tough to yell, yell nonsense like, “I’m going to eat your eyes!” If you can’t think of any nonsense to yell, just plain scream. The second your opponent suspects that you’re a freaking lunatic he’s going to get scared. Fear causes people to make mistakes.

    4. When You Lose, Claim It Didn’t Hurt
    Sometimes you’re just outmatched. But even losing a fight can be used to your advantage. When it’s over, feel free to spit blood in his face and tell him that it ‘didn’t hurt.’ Laugh when he walks away. You might have just gotten your ass kicked six ways from Sunday, but I guarantee you that anyone watching that fight will think twice about ever messing with you in the future. No one wants to **** with the crazy kid who feels no pain.

    Armed with my new tips and tricks, I laced up my skates and headed out to face the jungle that is childhood. When the boys confronted me again, I dared them to mess with me. One ballsy kid lunged towards me with the intent of pushing me down. Quickly, I kicked that kid squarely between the legs with my skate. He crumpled to the ground as I hysterically screamed at his friends, “I’LL EAT YOUR EYES! I’LL EAT ALL OF YOUR EYES!” Terrified, those boys got up and ran like Hell. I’ve never felt so empowered in my entire life.

    In retrospect, I think my Father was just trying to teach me a little something about fear and courage. Back then, and even more so today, it became quite popular to advise your children to: Run. Hide. Look away. Go get someone bigger. Be afraid. As a result, modern children and adults alike are easily paralyzed by fear and have no idea how to defend themselves.

    After reading certain articles on my website, I’ve even seen people comment, “What is she going to do if she says the wrong thing to the wrong person? She’s going to end up getting hurt or killed.”

    I feel sorry for those people. So paralyzed by fear of what might happen, that they lack the courage to stand up for themselves or for someone weaker. I refuse to live my life afraid to say what I feel or do what is right because there might be some mysterious villain lurking in the shadows who is bigger and stronger. Better to be dead, than to live your life afraid.

    Besides, I could just as easily spend my life acting meek and compliant only to still end up with a bullet in my head. However, because my Father taught me courage, it’s not likely that I’d go down without a fight. Who knows? I may even end up wrenching a knife from some psycho’s hands and stabbing him in the throat with it.

    Of course, I’ll remember to stab and twist.

    » How To Fight - Violent Acres
    Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

    Mark Twain

  2. #2
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    I got picked on and done the only logical thing.

    Got on the STEROIDS
    " A cookie without sugar is just a cracker" ~ ancient voodoo proverb

    "A man with infinite patience is never left waiting."~ROID's past incarnation

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    Instead, he planned to teach me to kick a little ass
    My dad just beat them up for me. I plan to do the same for my kid. PHUQ KIDS!!!

    naw, i didn't really get picked on. I do remember one time though this kid trying to pick a fight with me at baseball tryouts and my dad saw him- walked up to him and got in his face like he was about to kick the shit out him and asked him if he was gonna do something now.
    we were in the 4th grade so it scared him pretty bad. After my dad walked off I just laughed in his face and went back to business.

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    I always hung out with older kids when I was young. One day they pissed me off so I went home and got a pool net and went back and started cleaning house. My dad still talks about how bad ass that was lol

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    So you cleaned their house with a pool net? That's not only odd but very difficult to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by min0 lee View Post
    So you cleaned their house with a pool net? That's not only odd but very difficult to do.

    Yeah at like 5 or 6yrs old.

    What's funny is I'm a pretty passive person now. The only time I really get into fights is when my friends run their mouths too much and someone trys to kick thier ass.


    I got those bastards back. We were in my shed before some kind of boy scout meeting and they dared me to poke a hole in a pink spray paint can with a screwdriver. I did, then proceeded to get dominated with pink ass paint.

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    Oh..I thought you literally cleaned their house. Hard to wash dishes with a pool net.

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    Smartass!

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    I use to shadow box every day. I got real fast, but I think more form was shit.

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    On my block it was killed or be killed

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    Quote Originally Posted by min0 lee View Post
    Oh..I thought you literally cleaned their house. Hard to wash dishes with a pool net.
    yeah. i got it the first time you said it.

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    When I lived in the projects in Houston from 6-9yrs of age I was the only white(in appearance though I am 1/4 black thats not noticeable) kid so I had to battle constantly, one day I got in a marathon fight with two mexican brothers 7 and 8 yrs old, we started off throwing punches, I was holding my ground when my dads 2 black friends saw me and knocked on our apartment door to get my dad, he comes out with a 6 pack, hands a coupe to his friends and they sit on the stairs to watch. I am worn down but adrenaline is keeping me going, my dad and his friends are coaching me from the stairs, I'm throwing punches and kicks, doing some wrist and arm locks I'd learned from a judo book, we got to the point where our arms and legs were dead so I just keep dong take downs and telling them to stay down...finally they just gave up and went home....my dad was so proud of me he let me chug his beer cause I was so thirsty which was the best thing cause I was so sore and bruised the alcohol just made me numb....
    Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
    not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
    and drag down the features of age,
    no folds or creases from unkempt wear
    eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
    no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
    but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012

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    Quote Originally Posted by maniclion View Post
    When I lived in the projects in Houston from 6-9yrs of age I was the only white(in appearance though I am 1/4 black thats not noticeable) kid so I had to battle constantly, one day I got in a marathon fight with two mexican brothers 7 and 8 yrs old, we started off throwing punches, I was holding my ground when my dads 2 black friends saw me and knocked on our apartment door to get my dad, he comes out with a 6 pack, hands a coupe to his friends and they sit on the stairs to watch. I am worn down but adrenaline is keeping me going, my dad and his friends are coaching me from the stairs, I'm throwing punches and kicks, doing some wrist and arm locks I'd learned from a judo book, we got to the point where our arms and legs were dead so I just keep dong take downs and telling them to stay down...finally they just gave up and went home....my dad was so proud of me he let me chug his beer cause I was so thirsty which was the best thing cause I was so sore and bruised the alcohol just made me numb....
    thats just a touching story

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