Thread: 400lb Shoplifter Gets Stuck in Door

» Does This Look Like The Face of A 400lb Shoplifter Who Got Her Handifat Scooter Wedged In The Door Making Her Getaway? Barstool Sports: Boston

A Pontiac woman’s alleged theft attempt was foiled this week when her motorized cart became stuck at a Rochester Hills Meijer. Jerrie Perkins, 30, is charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud. Her bond was set at $15,000 by 52-3 District Magistrate Nick Camargo during arraignment Thursday. Investigators said Perkins was attempting to leave the Rochester Road Meijer with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise when her cart got stuck and she was unable to drive out the door. The door alarm was activated when Perkins passed through it around 9:20 p.m. Tuesday, and Meijer employees approached her asking for a receipt for the items. Perkins — approximately 5 foot 2 and 400 pounds — shoved a loss prevention officer and hit her in the face, according to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office. A sheriff’s deputy arrived and asked Perkins to put her hands behind her back, but she “cursed at the deputy, balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance,” according to a press release from the Sheriff’s Office. The deputy pulled his Taser and told Perkins to put her hands behind her back, but Perkins brought her fist up over her head and looked directly at the deputy. The deputy Tasered Perkins, who then complied with the deputy’s commands and was taken to jail.

In the life of a blogger, you comb through a lot of stories looking for the good ones. There’s a lot of crap out there and it’s a process to separate the wheat from the chaff. The truly great ones are rarer still. But you have to be really lucky to come across one as good as this. Remember that part in “Amadeus”… never mind, I’m sure you don’t. So I’ll tell you that there’s this one part where Salieri (who’s played by the guy who got hung out of the helicopter in “Scarface”) is going through Mozart’s sheet music and sees perfection. “…finished as no music is ever finished. Displace one note and there would be diminishment. Displace one phrase and the structure would fall.” That’s what this story is: Perfection. Jerrie had me at 5′ 2″, 400 lbs and driving a Handifat scooter. Then when she stole stuff, got wedged in the door, put up a fight and got tasered? Well, I don’t want to add anything to the story out of fear that I’ll diminish it.

Instead, I’ll just link to this gallery of Handifat people on scooters and wish Godspeed to Jennie “Amadeus” Perkins, the blogger’s friend. @jerrythornton1