Thread: How many of you think you could take a chimpanzee?

Originally Posted by pitbullguy0101

what if we put boxing gloves on and the monkey cant grab? like someone said they dont have good punching muscles. pretty sure i woop its ass! no 4ft thing beats a crazy pitbull just watch the news

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Yeah, an old lady. A dumb idiot who prolly just took it.

I'd beat one easy. My 12 gauge mossberg semi-auto shotgun filled with 8 rounds of lead slug equals win.

Originally Posted by BlueLineFish

I'd beat one easy. My 12 gauge mossberg semi-auto shotgun filled with 8 rounds of lead slug equals win.

you didn't read the rules. That's an automatic DQ. The chimp you just chopped in half is the winner by default. How does it feel to lose to a dead monkey?

There are no rules when it comes to survival. If I am still alive I am the winner.

I said you are DQ'd! Any pansy can shoot an ape. You aren't special.

Fine. Then no. Monkey kills me.

Good. Now say you're sorry for coming in here and jeopardizing the integrity of this intellectually stimulating discussion. Say it.

Ok Ok ...sorry for interrupting the profoundly intellectual debate. I will now sit in the corner and listen like a good boy

Originally Posted by DOMS

So...could you pull the hand off of a person?

Thats what I mean, I wouldnt pull just one thing. A chimp would. Brute strength right? I am not talking about a bench press contest or who would win in a tug a war. I sincerely doubt a chimp would know how to turn joints inside out. All there gonna do is claw, pulls, smash, bite. Theyre not smart.

This goes back to if you had to kill one that was going to kill you, how would you win? No weapons? Ill guarantee youll think of something. The biggest advantage is that you can guess what it will do, but it wont predict shit about what youll do.

Originally Posted by AKIRA

Thats what I mean, I wouldnt pull just one thing. A chimp would. Brute strength right? I am not talking about a bench press contest or who would win in a tug a war. I sincerely doubt a chimp would know how to turn joints inside out. All there gonna do is claw, pulls, smash, bite. Theyre not smart.

This goes back to if you had to kill one that was going to kill you, how would you win? No weapons? Ill guarantee youll think of something. The biggest advantage is that you can guess what it will do, but it wont predict shit about what youll do.

They move at a speed that only a really damn good martial artist could hope to match. I also think you're forgetting their teeth. They can rip a raw steak up like it's nothing.

Really man, consider that a "tame" chimp pulled off a woman's hands and face. Really, just let that sink in.

I'm not saying that a man would go down like a Chinese hooker, I'm just saying that, in the end, he's going to lose if he can't get a weapon.

Ok..i enter the debate again. I will do everything in my power to kick it repeatedly straight in its chimp d i c k

Originally Posted by Little Wing

it always bugs me when some human does something abhorrable or idiotic and they kill the poor animal after like it doesn't deserve to go on living because it tidied up the natural order of things a bit.

Usually the animal ventures into inhabited areas because of unprotected food or the like, or people like that jackass in Alaska who feeds the bears. Almost always the fault of humans.

Like those people who train animals and then get attacked by them. They wind up killing the animal. It's a wild animal. That what they do. You know the risks.

chimps cant fight. all they do is grab, bite and scream. thats exactly what a woman does. if i punched a chimp in the head he would die. so yeah my hand would be broken because i fractured it pummeling this thing.

Originally Posted by SFW

if i punched a chimp in the head he would die.

You posted this at 2AM? You know that was a school night, right?

Originally Posted by SFW

chimps cant fight. all they do is grab, bite and scream. thats exactly what a woman does. if i punched a chimp in the head he would die. so yeah my hand would be broken because i fractured it pummeling this thing.

Very valid points. I would love to hear more.

No human is taking a chimp, end of story. It would rip your hands off your wrists, and then sit back and throw your fingers at you one by one.

What if you fought it with... bananas!? grrr

You could also hope that you were fighting a monkey like this one...

Of course...the chimp might try and take you in other ways

...he opens up the back of the van and there's just this MESS. i say "what happened to this guy?" he says "Gary, that's Isa."....

His jaw was missing, both hands, feet, groin. He was disemboweled...

go to 41:47 Hulu - I Survived . . .: Maggie, Gary, Barbara - Watch the full episode now.

I watched this show on chimps that were pets then ended up fucking people up real bad. i have to say it was an old women and some old fat man...i think i could do the same to those old people..... so does andone have a vid of chimps fighting to the death?
i still state the chimp would realize real quick i aint no mark and would know his place in the chain below me! Being in prison i fought a bunch of monkeys and gorillas and always my act of aggression overwhelmed my attacker. its real simple some of you fuck cant and wouldnt make it.