Thread: Suicide

Suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. They have no idea what it does to a family after its done. Those that over come it, congrats!

Originally Posted by bigedawg23

wow,a big thank you to all the members for your support here..it was(is) tough dealing with all this shit at once. It's like the things I had planned for myself & my family are now that much harder to achieve.We were doing ok financially at the time, I mean our bills are paid,food in the fridge,usually if it's anything new then it's for my 5 year old daughter,like clothes & stuff but I always struggled with the fact that I'm not providing for my family the way I feel they should be taken care of..You know..like why can't my wife just be a stay at home mother who don't have to worry about working,or why do we have these old beaters of cars when we get them instead of driving something newer..I'm in no way wanting sypmathy from you guys by sharing all this. Just trying to let you see things thru my eyes. My wife & I run a home/vacation rental cleaning business which is a pretty good business in this area.but it means sometimes we may go a week with no work then we'll be booked up the whole next week with sometimes 2 cleanings in 1 day...I know I could get out and find another job that would maybe provide better than what we are doing now but if I do that we will have to hire someone to help my wife to the cleaning & probably an additional person for the maint. on the homes...I do all the maint,inside & outside,and when i'm finished with that I help her finish cleaning...I'm not scared of hard work at all,I spent 10 years in the Army but this situation is like a catch 22...now I've added 2 more mouths to fees & cloth and so the utilities will also rise some but I could not turn my back on them. Maybe the state will help so i'm going to look into the foodstamp thing. I just thought that the 200,000 my wife would get from the insurance policy would solve things for them rather than have to keep struggling thru day 2 day with me. Like I said,looking back now I know it was selfish & would've damaged those closest to me but at the time it just felt like they'd be better off without me than with me....and about religion,I try to be a christian but fail miserably but I do believe he has a plan and know that there's a reason behind all of this....sometimes it's just hard to understand....thank each & every 1 of you & i'm doing better each day..........

Life is one big house of cards that we will never fully understand...last Feb, my grandmother, dog and GF's brother all died within 6 days of each other....it was a living nightmare at the time....time will heal, but we gotta believe theirs a plan for us all.....DON'T LET YESTERDAY USE UP TOO MUCH OF TODAY.....GL w everything, dawg!
-DECA-