Area husband pretends to give a shit

mmafiter · 11-20-2002, 03:40 PM

Area husband pretends to give a shit

Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband Chris Woodman pretended to give a shit Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.

According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.

"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."

Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," Woodman pretended to give a shit about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.

Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-shit veneer was not a complete waste.

"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."

In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a shit.

Woodman said he often pretends to give a shit about what his wife says.

"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."

Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."

After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a shit about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.

"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."

"I pretend to give a shit because I care," Woodman added.

Burner02 · 11-20-2002, 04:06 PM

that was hilarious!

ALBOB · 11-20-2002, 04:15 PM

And women have the audacity to say we're not sensitive. Shame on them.

coleman · 11-20-2002, 04:40 PM

memento was a great film....and yeah, the rest was hilarious

david · 11-22-2002, 07:45 PM

Wow, this was alot. Cool!

yellowmoomba · 06-08-2004, 12:47 PM

Old but funny!!

haha

MaxMirkin · 06-08-2004, 01:36 PM

So funny, and yet so true....

Little Wing · 06-08-2004, 01:46 PM

"Uh huh. Yes Dear."

maniclion · 09-18-2004, 05:35 PM

I don't feel so bad about it anymore.

maxpro2 · 09-19-2004, 12:49 AM

CRASHMAN · 09-19-2004, 12:59 AM

it also works with GF's

.....bitches.......

jack52 · 09-19-2004, 05:47 AM

Nodding and Uh-huh dear is still kinda dicey. The clever ones trip you up with trick questions. You need a workshop with powertools and sawdust, my man. Noisier the better. Or unwind at the gym. Or on a cycle.

OceanDude · 09-19-2004, 06:24 AM

My last reflexive 'uh huh' cost me about $2,500 in new furniture that I didn't want. She tossed my favorite TV chair and replaced it with a love seat...

Wives can be so devious.

OD

jack52 · 09-19-2004, 09:51 AM

Got a buddy getting hitched? Get him a band saw. He'll thank you forever. My Father in Law turned me on to this idea. Fifty seven years married- no love seats!

DFINEST · 09-19-2004, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OceanDude

My last reflexive 'uh huh' cost me about $2,500 in new furniture that I didn't want. She tossed my favorite TV chair and replaced it with a love seat...

Wives can be so devious.

OD

Darn brother, that's funny as heck!

cornfed · 09-20-2004, 12:36 PM

Wow

fuggin' hilarious

...but absolutely no truth in it

irontime · 09-20-2004, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cornfed

Wow

fuggin' hilarious

...but absolutely no truth in it

Wha??

You actually think your wife is listening to you as you babble on about fuck all?

Du · 09-20-2004, 06:14 PM

I think it was sarcasm.

irontime · 09-21-2004, 05:38 PM

I know it was sarcasm, but I gotta take my shot in at cornhole when I get the chance. He just isn't around enough to let him slip by without a slam

11-20-2002, 03:40 PM	#1
mmafiter Red Rocket! Red Rocket! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Do you EVEN FUQQING care? Posts: 2,020	Area husband pretends to give a shit Area husband pretends to give a shit Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband Chris Woodman pretended to give a shit Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects. According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman began watching television in an effort to unwind from work. "I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long." Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," Woodman pretended to give a shit about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith. "Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours. Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-shit veneer was not a complete waste. "I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now." In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a shit. Woodman said he often pretends to give a shit about what his wife says. "Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out." Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation." After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a shit about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship. "If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me." "I pretend to give a shit because I care," Woodman added.

11-20-2002, 04:06 PM	#2
Burner02 Super Hero in Training Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Kabul, Afghanistan Posts: 29,642	that was hilarious! Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed

11-20-2002, 04:15 PM	#3
ALBOB IDIOT SAVANT Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: An alternate reality. Posts: 10,385	And women have the audacity to say we're not sensitive. Shame on them. Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

11-20-2002, 04:40 PM	#4
coleman Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 1,187	memento was a great film....and yeah, the rest was hilarious "I believe in the brotherhood of man, all men, but I don’t believe in brotherhood with anybody who doesn’t want brotherhood with me. I believe in treating people right, but I’m not going to waste my time trying to treat somebody right who doesn’t know how to return the treatment." Malcom X Speech, Dec. 12 1964, New York City.

06-08-2004, 01:36 PM	#7
MaxMirkin Cheerfully Offensive Join Date: May 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 3,696 Photos: 4	So funny, and yet so true.... The lions sing and the hills take flight. The moon by day, and the sun by night. Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool. Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

11-22-2002, 07:45 PM	#5
david EAST COAST BRAT Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waterworld, FL Posts: 25,420 Photos: 2	Wow, this was alot. Cool!

06-08-2004, 12:47 PM	#6
yellowmoomba YM Elite Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Michigan Posts: 6,283 Photos: 2	Old but funny!! haha

06-08-2004, 01:46 PM	#8
Little Wing Mommmmmm, turn it down!!! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: United States Posts: 23,757 Photos: 191	"Uh huh. Yes Dear." "MUSCLE IS TRULY GUARANTEED IF YOU WILL HONESTLY work out to BE YOUR VERY BEST - GO FOR IT!!! BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!!!! Take Care, John H."

09-18-2004, 05:35 PM	#9
maniclion Cartographer of the Mind Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mens Incognita Posts: 20,432 Photos: 10	I don't feel so bad about it anymore. "We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that." Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

09-19-2004, 12:49 AM	#10
maxpro2 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,121	lmao

09-19-2004, 12:59 AM	#11
CRASHMAN SoCal. Stud Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: in a box on a corner near you Posts: 10,080 Photos: 2	it also works with GF's .....bitches.......

09-19-2004, 05:47 AM	#12
jack52 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canonsburg, Pa. Posts: 103	Nodding and Uh-huh dear is still kinda dicey. The clever ones trip you up with trick questions. You need a workshop with powertools and sawdust, my man. Noisier the better. Or unwind at the gym. Or on a cycle. It's not that I wanted to win, I cannot lose. And I refuse to crawl.- Dave Draper Live everyday like it's your shot at the title-Pat Tillman

09-19-2004, 06:24 AM	#13
OceanDude Well Read Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cape Canaveral, FL Posts: 1,853	My last reflexive 'uh huh' cost me about $2,500 in new furniture that I didn't want. She tossed my favorite TV chair and replaced it with a love seat... Wives can be so devious. OD "Doc, If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself..." Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae. We Americans scoff at the likes of African witch doctors yet spend 100's of millions of dollars on fake reducing systems. The only regular exercise he gets is stretching the truth. His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts...

09-19-2004, 09:51 AM	#14
jack52 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canonsburg, Pa. Posts: 103	Got a buddy getting hitched? Get him a band saw. He'll thank you forever. My Father in Law turned me on to this idea. Fifty seven years married- no love seats! It's not that I wanted to win, I cannot lose. And I refuse to crawl.- Dave Draper Live everyday like it's your shot at the title-Pat Tillman

09-20-2004, 12:36 PM	#16
cornfed Sweet 'lil Innocent Mod Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: serenity now insanity later Posts: 1,802	Wow fuggin' hilarious ...but absolutely no truth in it - "If I ever run into Dave Grohl, I'm gonna kick his fuqqin' ass... because he sucks and he wrote this cheese-dick song for Ozzy that I have to fuqqin' play on and I'll never forgive him for that. Foo Fighters is a fuqqin' candy-ass girl band but you've got that mother-fuqqer submitting songs [for the album], and those douchebags from the Offspring, too." "...Dave Grohl? Fuq Dave Grohl! ...you're getting this guy to write songs for Ozzy? Just because he played drums for fuqqing Sh!tvana?" --- Zakk Wylde --- ---Dimebag Darrel RIP---

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Gear Users, Read This	Tough Old Man	Anabolic Zone	10	02-18-2008 11:55 AM
Downfall............ttokkyo-bust	dg806	Anabolic Zone	2	08-07-2007 07:27 PM
Which do u agree with? (Some shit I read about women)	god hand	Open Chat	24	10-03-2006 02:53 PM
I Don't Give a Shit Anymore	Decker	Online Journals	48	07-19-2006 02:48 PM

09-20-2004, 06:14 PM	#18
Du Senior Member Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: London, UK Posts: 4,087 Photos: 5	I think it was sarcasm. My IronMag Journal

09-21-2004, 05:38 PM	#19
irontime The Original Jackass Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: If not here, then on some porn site. Posts: 5,099 Photos: 1	I know it was sarcasm, but I gotta take my shot in at cornhole when I get the chance. He just isn't around enough to let him slip by without a slam If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself. - Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870)