The Divorce - MUST READ!!!!

**Gena Marie** · 08-04-2011, 11:11 AM

I understand that The person who wrote this is a college student.
Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG
PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I
want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for The
sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run
its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can
smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure
our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the
NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind,
solar and bio-diesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie
O'Donnell.
You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big
enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,
homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs and rednecks.

--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right
to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our
way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness
and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be
paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National
Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach
The World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give
trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and
our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer
which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, &Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our
country.

**ANIMALHAUS** · 08-04-2011, 12:38 PM

Brilliant!!!!!!

**oufinny** · 08-04-2011, 02:24 PM

Is it weird I got a boner reading that? Sounds like we can take the south, mid-west, non-union states in the central east and Florida. They can all be pissed off in the north east, northern Midwest and the rest of the hippie loving northwest. We get Nevada though, Harry Reid will be thrown out first though. They don't want oil so why give them the gulf coast?

**SloppyJ** · 08-04-2011, 02:27 PM

Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.

**Little Wing** · 08-04-2011, 02:52 PM

that's because it is.

**hoyle21** · 08-04-2011, 03:11 PM

Can we just divide into red and blue states? Or is that not fair since the blue states have all the money with the notable exception of Texas?

Not sure if anyone other than Lam would even know this, but the only red state that is not a wellfare is Texas. Alaska receives almost 4 dollars in federal assistance for every one dollar collected. Alabama, Oklahoma, and Arizona aren't too far behind. California on the other receives one dollar of federal assistance for every 4 dollars they pay.

The reality is most of the red states aren't populated enough tax base wise to maintain their interstate highway system, let alone anything else. You can thank the blue states though, supporting your welfare is what we do.

**OfficerFarva** · 08-04-2011, 03:32 PM

That kind of mentality isn't going to get you Americans out of the shit hole mess you're in now. There's so much I don't like about this article but I'll leave it at that.

**AdmiralRichard** · 08-04-2011, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by hoyle21

Can we just divide into red and blue states? Or is that not fair since the blue states have all the money with the notable exception of Texas?

Not sure if anyone other than Lam would even know this, but the only red state that is not a wellfare is Texas. Alaska receives almost 4 dollars in federal assistance for every one dollar collected. Alabama, Oklahoma, and Arizona aren't too far behind. California on the other receives one dollar of federal assistance for every 4 dollars they pay.

The reality is most of the red states aren't populated enough tax base wise to maintain their interstate highway system, let alone anything else. You can thank the blue states though, supporting your welfare is what we do.

i think all them states have them lazy mexicans

**TJTJ** · 08-04-2011, 04:06 PM

IMO this is not very American. We are a Union. Through thick and thin, we stick together. We've been through worst. As if freeing the slaves wasnt hard enough we got through it. The Civil War, The depression, WW 1 and 2. We need to have opposing ideas.

Remember 9/11? That day and forward we were a single country. It didnt matter who you were, where you came from. What nationality you are, We were all Americans. We became one. The world had our backs. What happened? When/How did we lose site of that?

Its not the American people, its the political system. Its when ideology gets in the way of reality that it becomes a problem.

I refuse to give up on my country!

**maxpro2** · 08-04-2011, 04:07 PM

I always wondered what type of person actually gets off on these conservative chain emails. Now I know.

**IronAddict** · 08-04-2011, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by maxpro2

I always wondered what type of person actually gets off on these conservative chain emails. Now I know.

Yeah, and I can even guess the authors politics. Listen, it doesn't matter what you write or how you sugar coat it, everybodies stuck with a sugar coated shit sandwich.

**maniclion** · 08-04-2011, 07:06 PM

Works out great because Rush Limbaugh wasn't a druggie and redneck conservatives aren't getting foodstamps, and welfare....

I know plenty of liberals who collect firearms and CEOs who are registered Democrats...

**BigPapaPump68** · 08-04-2011, 07:29 PM

Interesting read for sure

**hoyle21** · 08-04-2011, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by maniclion

Works out great because Rush Limbaugh wasn't a druggie and redneck conservatives aren't getting foodstamps, and welfare....

I know plenty of liberals who collect firearms and CEOs who are registered Democrats...

Like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet....

**KelJu** · 08-04-2011, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by maniclion

Works out great because Rush Limbaugh wasn't a druggie and redneck conservatives aren't getting foodstamps, and welfare....

I know plenty of liberals who collect firearms and CEOs who are registered Democrats...

Oh, what is that you say, manic? Are you saying that Americans can't be lumped into two groups? Stop it now, I just don't believe it.

Whoever wrote that shit sounds like they are from Alabama or Mississippi. Chain emails... probably started by campaign workers of politicians under the guise of plain Joe Blow from Upper Buttcrack. You know what is really sad? I would probably lean more towards conservative than liberal if I didn't hate self proclaimed conservatives so much. Nearly every conservative suffers from a chronic case of "if you aren't with us, then you are against us!"

Well maybe I'm not for or against any party since no party represents me. I would imagine that I am in the same boat as the majority of Americans. The majority of Americans might comment here and there in regards to political discussion, but those same people might also comment on a discussion about dicks and farts, so draw on own conclusions there. The overly driven 5% of Americans that are drafting up chain letters, and picketing against wallmart have a seriously over inflated ego.

Maybe

**Zaphod** · 08-05-2011, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by OfficerFarva

That kind of mentality isn't going to get you Americans out of the shit hole mess you're in now. There's so much I don't like about this article but I'll leave it at that.

Spot on!

If they want a divorce then they can both get the fuck out of here. They've fucked everything up to the point that we're no longer crumbling around the edges, we're flat falling apart into a severe case of fubar.

**squigader** · 08-07-2011, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by KelJu

Oh, what is that you say, manic? Are you saying that Americans can't be lumped into two groups? Stop it now, I just don't believe it.

Whoever wrote that shit sounds like they are from Alabama or Mississippi. Chain emails... probably started by campaign workers of politicians under the guise of plain Joe Blow from Upper Buttcrack. You know what is really sad? I would probably lean more towards conservative than liberal if I didn't hate self proclaimed conservatives so much. Nearly every conservative suffers from a chronic case of "if you aren't with us, then you are against us!"

Damn straight!

**apex1** · 08-07-2011, 02:12 PM

Whats funny is that we are already divided. BY STATES, the problem is that the federal government thinks their law is above ours.

**KelJu** · 08-07-2011, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by apex1

Whats funny is that we are already divided. BY STATES, the problem is that the federal government thinks their law is above ours.

The federal government is above state government.

**Chubby** · 08-07-2011, 02:35 PM

If this guy believes in what he wrote, then I wonder why does he want to keep that bible? I thought bible teach about love and helping poors. Maybe he is talking about different kind of bible, I think.

**LAM** · 08-07-2011, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by hoyle21

Not sure if anyone other than Lam would even know this, but the only red state that is not a wellfare is Texas. Alaska receives almost 4 dollars in federal assistance for every one dollar collected. Alabama, Oklahoma, and Arizona aren't too far behind. California on the other receives one dollar of federal assistance for every 4 dollars they pay.

The reality is most of the red states aren't populated enough tax base wise to maintain their interstate highway system, let alone anything else. You can thank the blue states though, supporting your welfare is what we do.

yep...the majority of the global 500's are in the North, then there are some in Texas and a couple in the south.

for the most part the metros carry the non-metro areas across all the states and the North carries the South. the metro is where all the business takes place and where all the money is made.

Considering that Alaska gets revenue from oil and the population is equal to that of a small city, there is no logical reason why they should be getting much fed assistance at all.

Nevada is the least socialist state in the country but that is because the casino's run the show here.

**theCaptn'** · 08-07-2011, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by Chubby

If this guy believes in what he wrote, then I wonder why does he want to keep that bible? I thought bible teach about love and helping poors. Maybe he is talking about different kind of bible, I think.

Chubby didn't I ban you?

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