Thread: Drafting Guys Over 60

Drafting Guys Over 60

This is funny, and obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for any war: Send To Service Vets over 60!


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I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile...

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10:00 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, and how to start a conversation with a pretty girl.

He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!!

How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Originally Posted by Curt James

While I agree with the part in red, the other bolded part is of more importance, imo. Babies -- relative to guys my age and no matter how gung ho -- should not be being sent overseas to be blown up or to kill others.

The reason they don't draft men over 35 is that individuals by that time have matured enough, experienced enough, to tell their recruiter and congressmen to **** right off! I'm proud of my five years of military service, but sending teenagers to Afghanistan and Iraq? No.

You manage to say what Im saying with much less effort, Curt. I jumped the gun and just started my "drunken 2:30am, I didnt pick up any pussy tonight because I didnt really try" rant without reading any of your post besides the red text that you highlighted.