ALBOB

Things Every Southerner Knows

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a
first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red-eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter.

21.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just
say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

Rusty

Oh No.....here we go again.

~RUSTY~

I Are Baboon

Crono1000

I'm from south carolina... wut u trayin' ta say?

dg806

[quote]Originally posted by ALBOB
Things Every Southerner Knows

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
It's sweet too!



8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

And it's a right FER piece
I gotta set him straight!

www.sbmuscle.com

DaMayor

ALBOB SQUAREPANTS!!! We'll I never! It ain't fittin'! It ain't fittin!!And to think I've always talked nicely about you people from up north....Yankee Bastards! You northern, vacuum cleaner sex havin', hockey pucks! (pssst...there are a bunch of dumb people down here...hehheheh)

david

Change this title to "My GF's Relatives" Ha Ha!

Fade

Albob, yo' sh'd not be makin' fun of me an' mah fambly. It's not nice an' it makes me be hankerin' t'git th' shot gun out.

Fade

Yahoo! page of the south.

Southern Yahoo!

ALBOB

To all you who think I'm making fun of Southerners........................you're right. You're a bunch of inbread retards but you DID get this one right.

P.S. My father's from Fitzgerald Georgia and my mother's from Nashville Tennessee. I like grits, collard greens, black eyed peas, etc. The only difference between me and you is.............................I'm not an inbread retard.

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

DaMayor

I am not a retard!....and I don't eat bread either!

ALBOB

And I never went to spelling class.

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

cornfed

I'm southern, but not a shitkicker or a hick by any means... and not inbred either... but I do enjoy these threads Albud

- "If I ever run into Dave Grohl, I'm gonna kick his fuqqin' ass... because he sucks and he wrote this cheese-dick song for Ozzy that I have to fuqqin' play on and I'll never forgive him for that. Foo Fighters is a fuqqin' candy-ass girl band but you've got that mother-fuqqer submitting songs [for the album], and those douchebags from the Offspring, too."
"...Dave Grohl? Fuq Dave Grohl! ...you're getting this guy to write songs for Ozzy? Just because he played drums for fuqqing Sh!tvana?"
--- Zakk Wylde ---
---Dimebag Darrel RIP---

DaMayor

You said we were in bread....I ain't in no daing bread!
By the way, is your Avatar to scale?

ALBOB

No, I had to edit out my dick because Kuso kept sending me love letters.

(I know I said "inbread", I'm a lousy speller. )

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

Tboy

The proof is in the puddin'.

I pedal... Therefore I am.

~ You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything. ~