Thread: 7 main differences between rich and poor people…

You wouldn't know it by looking at me or what I drive or my house.

I was flat broke but got full scholarships to college and medical school ( the latter was pure serendipity since everyone were overqualified straight A students). My dad made a government salary when we arrived in America after a ten years stint as a POW in Vietnam. At first we lived on food stamps but he got on his feet and we did better. Because I did not owe what most medical students owe ( the average is now $250,000) my modest salary was quite comfortable. I still live on a salary that I pay my nurse practioners. The rest , I initially bought some commercial office rental property not really knowing what the hell I was doing and decided to limit rentals to physicians, that is my main source of generous income which I sock away . I could easily have invested in stocks, options, commodities like my other collegues who went broke doing this. I am a academic medical researcher so my salary as a physician is quite modest. My brother the internationl project manager for a company that designs cloud software and does data mining makes a hell of a lot more. But I dont need a fancy house or car to be happy. I bought my $160,000 house on a 15 year mortgage and it's pretty paid up! It's now working out, racing, doing research and spending time with my daughter and husband. I do donate like 10 grand or so a year to my favorite charities that I hope to work with when I retire ( doctors without borders) etc. I know tons of collegues who make a hell of a lot more ( plastic surgeons etc.) who are unhappy, miserable and rich. I credit it to the simple taoist values my mom taught me before she converted to catholicism, another long story.

Originally Posted by bandaidwoman

but he got on his feet and we did better

ok... thats the part I'm at. how does one "get back on your feet" so to speak because god dammit I feel stuck. I barely manage to drag myself out of bed every morning to come to my sorry ass job i hate to barely pay my damn bills.

Originally Posted by bandaidwoman

You wouldn't know it by looking at me or what I drive or my house.

I was flat broke but got full scholarships to college and medical school ( the latter was pure serendipity since everyone were overqualified straight A students). My dad made a government salary when we arrived in America after a ten years stint as a POW in Vietnam. At first we lived on food stamps but he got on his feet and we did better. Because I did not owe what most medical students owe ( the average is now $250,000) my modest salary was quite comfortable. I still live on a salary that I pay my nurse practioners. The rest , I initially bought some commercial office rental property not really knowing what the hell I was doing and decided to limit rentals to physicians, that is my main source of generous income which I sock away . I could easily have invested in stocks, options, commodities like my other collegues who went broke doing this. I am a academic medical researcher so my salary as a physician is quite modest. My brother the internationl project manager for a company that designs cloud software and does data mining makes a hell of a lot more. But I dont need a fancy house or car to be happy. I bought my $160,000 house on a 15 year mortgage and it's pretty paid up! It's now working out, racing, doing research and spending time with my daughter and husband. I do donate like 10 grand or so a year to my favorite charities that I hope to work with when I retire ( doctors without borders) etc. I know tons of collegues who make a hell of a lot more ( plastic surgeons etc.) who are unhappy, miserable and rich. I credit it to the simple taoist values my mom taught me before she converted to catholicism, another long story.

I have a similar background, but did not get a full boat scholarship; I did all my courses from home while I worked 3 jobs and went to the college only to write the exams.

Despite paying yourself less than your professional Corp. brings in and despite living well below your means, your wealth has afforded you options that an equally bright person without your luck (as you called it) would not have. Your ability to donate to a worthy cause and build equity in your life has provided you with some satisfaction; it's clear in your post.

An equally bright person who was born driven, but only lacked money to fulfil their destiny could be a very unhappy person, the 10 years I lived like absolute garbage getting to where I am today did not make me happy, but a very nice car, house and a fine Cuban cigar from time to time does make up for the pain. Knowing my kids (who are also driven) will be able to exploit every opportunity they desire make me extremely happy (money makes this possible). Sure one can find examples of wealthy people who are unhappy, but in my personal experience, I've rarely come across self-made wealth (80% of the wealthy population) that did not have a good attitude and outlook on life. I worked with the lower middle class for the first half of my life; a large percentage were the most miserable people I had the displeasure of knowing. Today I work with mainly upper middle class and wealthy, there are a few pricks, but most are happy people who have no grudges...

Of course, this thread had nothing to do with whether money made you happy or not, but it's really interesting how it's turned; a research psychologist would find it fascinating...

Originally Posted by awhites1

ok... thats the part I'm at. how does one "get back on your feet" so to speak because god dammit I feel stuck. I barely manage to drag myself out of bed every morning to come to my sorry ass job i hate to barely pay my damn bills.

My mother forged her highschool diploma in taiwan so in america she had nothing to show above a 5th grade education, she cleaned houses. My dad never left Air America ( look it up), so even though he made a measly government salary ( I still don't know what he does) it is ( still working at 72) fulfilling. They bought a 35 grand house and never left. They learned to live simply, we never ate out more than twice a year and it was at Friendlys. No family vacations anywhere but we lived on Long Island, good school district and a quick drive away to the Long Island SOund and Jones Beach. We loved to swim. We were happy. OUr houss was tiny, no property since taxes are a bitch. They shared a Ford Pinto. My mom biked with her stuff for cleaning on a bike! My dad was quaker and his upbringing also meant being happy with very little or nothing. Unfortunately, life now is not so simple. You now need internet, computers , cell phones and so living simply is harder. YOu can't buy a house for 35 grand on Long Island, the house is now worth 300 grand and the taxes are killing my parents , luckily my dad still works at 72. I don't know what to say but find something that inspires you, find ways to live without ( I have friends who don't own cars at all)., I biked until 26, when I needed a car I rented it, ( for interviews after residency), but that was cheaper than a monthly car payment or car insurance. WIth that money I saved I travelled twice a year to sandiego for a vacation. If your job sucks, find your happiness outside of the job, take up laughing yoga ( very therapeutic and got me out of my rut when I was a broke chemist still trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up...)

Happiness is a state you make for yourself, my plastic surgeon freind loves his mercedes S 500 and house but I would not trade my house for all the pricks he deals with and the 100 plus hours a week he works. My house is smaller, my car looks atrocious but I get to bike with my daughter and husband, have sex, yeah, i work the occassional90 hours a week but so do some poor blokes working three jobs to support their families...

Originally Posted by awhites1

ok... thats the part I'm at. how does one "get back on your feet" so to speak because god dammit I feel stuck. I barely manage to drag myself out of bed every morning to come to my sorry ass job i hate to barely pay my damn bills.

You have to stop thinking like the typical north american in your social class. What seperate successful people is education, whether formal or informal. Unless you are willing to read 1 hour per day on how to make your life better, it will never happen. Get away from negative infuences, this includes family...

You also need to paint a pain picture, clearly your life is not painful enough that you want to move forward. My pain picture is that my children have the same drive I have, but I'm not able to afford their University.

Read the Think and Grow Rich, I linked a pdf copy in this thread. Once you've read it, your life should be different. If it is not, you will have to find happiness with what you have...

Originally Posted by bandaidwoman

My mother forged her highschool diploma in taiwan so in america she had nothing to show above a 5th grade education, she cleaned houses. My dad never left Air America ( look it up), so even though he made a measly government salary ( I still don't know what he does) it is ( still working at 72) fulfilling. They bought a 35 grand house and never left. They learned to live simply, we never ate out more than twice a year and it was at Friendlys. No family vacations anywhere but we lived on Long Island, good school district and a quick drive away to the Long Island SOund and Jones Beach. We loved to swim. We were happy. OUr houss was tiny, no property since taxes are a bitch. They shared a Ford Pinto. My mom biked with her stuff for cleaning on a bike! My dad was quaker and his upbringing also meant being happy with very little or nothing. Unfortunately, life now is not so simple. You now need internet, computers , cell phones and so living simply is harder. YOu can't buy a house for 35 grand on Long Island, the house is now worth 300 grand and the taxes are killing my parents , luckily my dad still works at 72. I don't know what to say but find something that inspires you, find ways to live without ( I have friends who don't own cars at all)., I biked until 26, when I needed a car I rented it, ( for interviews after residency), but that was cheaper than a monthly car payment or car insurance. WIth that money I saved I travelled twice a year to sandiego for a vacation. If your job sucks, find your happiness outside of the job, take up laughing yoga ( very therapeutic and got me out of my rut when I was a broke chemist).

If you had to live your parents life, it would not make you happy; it would not make them happy. They busted their asses so you could have the things they did not and offer opportunity to your family that they could not. They are happy becaue their sacrafice meant something; they are now living vicariously through you. If you made the same money they did, there would be a lot of unhappy people in your family...

Again, it's not about the money, it's about the success, but success rarely comes without money...

Originally Posted by vancouver

You have to stop thinking like the typical north american in your social class. What seperate successful people is education, whether formal or informal. Unless you are willing to read 1 hour per day on how to make your life better, it will never happen. Get away from negative infuences, this includes family...

You also need to paint a pain picture, clearly your life is not painful enough that you want to move forward. My pain picture is that my children have the same drive I have, but I'm not able to afford their University.

Read the Think and Grow Rich, I linked a pdf copy in this thread. Once you've read it, your life should be different. If it is not, you will have to find happiness with what you have...

I'll add the following to vancouver's great advice:

Fucking do something!

I mean it, make plans for everything and act on them every day.

You don't like how your immediate boss treats you, tell them nicely.

You pay too many bills, sit down and figure out what you can do without. Make a plan to pay off one item. When you pay it off, use what you were paying on that bill towards another. Snowball your payments.

If anything bothers you, identify exactly what the problem is. Then quantify it. Then make a plan to change it. Then track your progress by the metric you chose to quantify. Once that thing is changed, find something else to change that you don't like.

Part of being happy with life it feeling that you're in control. So be in control as much as you can.

And to summarize vancouver: Think differently. If you keep thinking the same, you're going to stay the same. Sometimes this means changing friends and family associations.

Good luck, man!

Originally Posted by vancouver

If you had to live your parents life, it would not make you happy; it would not make them happy. They busted their asses so you could have the things they did not and offer opportunity to your family that they could not. They are happy becaue their sacrafice meant something; they are now living vicariously through you. If you made the same money they did, there would be a lot of unhappy people in your family...

Again, it's not about the money, it's about the success, but success rarely comes without money...

true, for instance, when I was applying for the business loans to purchase the commercial property,even though my salary was modest, being a physician meant good credit so I was able to borrow more than most with a similar income, from there, my simple minded decision to rent to likeminded folks in my profession sparked a recession proof side rental business.....

You are right in that I could not be happy living like my parents did now knowing what I can do, but they were happy, even now I offer to send them to exotic locals and they just want to come down and visit their grandkids in atlanta and play in the yard., my father's quakerism is very existential in his happiness and my mother's new found cathollicism plays into her OCD and makes her happy...my athiesm prompted my own success because I realized a God wasn't going to do jackshit for me...

7 main differences between rich and poor people…

I know one difference. They gots heck of a lotta mo' money than I got.

Originally Posted by bandaidwoman

Happiness is a state you make for yourself....

Wise words.

Spot-on, once again bandaidwoman.

This nauseating over-glorifying of "rich" people is a joke.
Mosty get very lucky. And many are born with silver-spoons.

Money is what I care about most, but I do understand how fortunate I've been.