Thread: UPIs

Definition: Unidentified Party Injuries

The company Christmas lunch on Thursday turned into an after-lunch trip to a local pub, then an after-pub trip to, from what I've been told, an assortment of other bars. Tho it's all kind of a blur after the pub (a round of tequila shooters was one of my last memories).

When I woke up the knuckles on my right hand were a total scab-fest, nice bruise surrounding my right knee and, most mysterious, a pretty good bruise on the middle of my left calf just under the knee. Luckily, my hand isn't overly swollen or painful and is ok for working out. (Just got back from doing some deadlifts and the bruise on my knee is a bit annoying when I'm putting the bar down but not too bad.)

I was a little worried when I left (late) for work Friday a.m. and saw that the massive mirror that separates the 2 elevators in my building was totally shattered with a fist-high impact mark. However, it turns out that one of my neighbours was spotted on security cam punching the mirror. Whew! (It's really quite a nice building, I've never heard of anything like that before.) And, luckily, when I got to work nobody was sporting a black eye and everyone was still very friendly. (Kinda kidding here... people tell me I'm a happy drunk so that woulda been pretty weird.) The coat I wore the night before was in good shape, and my pants didn't have any discernable marks on them (ie nothing conforming to my leg injuries). Nobody at work could shed any light on my bumps and bruises. Go figure.

Luckily, I live near where I work so I didn't have a vehicle to worry about.

Sheesh... 'tis the season!

Happy holidays all, and stay safe!!

Given the location of the bruises they seem to match up to ones I used to see on inmates when I worked in the infirmary at the county jail who came in to get torn sphincters stitched up. One guy told me he got wrapped up mma style from behind, leg locked with the assailants ankle holding down the victims leg at the calf right below the knee and the assailant twisted his left arm behind his back and made him support both their weight on his right fist which ended up getting scraped from the friction...









Just kidding I never worked in a prison infirmary, one of my friends did and he told me those stories...



Ha ha, my friend never worked in a prison infirmary, but he was an inmate and did see bruises like those on smaller guys....



Actually my friend is me and I put those bruises on you that night in just the way I explained, it was beautiful, thank you for such a special night!


Really though you probably fell down, I've seen lots of drunk friends take some pretty hard spills and not even know it the next day....