Cruel jokes, but I laughed.

irontime · 03-19-2003, 02:27 PM

Please be forewarned that some of these are kinda cruel, no offense is meant by any of them (at least by me, I didn't make them)

>..Q: What is better than winning a medal at the
>Special Olympics?
> >
> >A: Not being retarded
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
> >
> >A: Hypothermia
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets
>out of the battered
> >wives' shelter?
> >
> >A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
> >
> >A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
>
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in
>common?
> >
> >A: They don't fucking listen.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
> >
> >A: Gonorrhoea
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
> >
> >A: So women would know what it's like to live with an
>irritating cunt once in a while too.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
> >
> >A. She rolls her own tampons.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
> >
> >A. Better traction in the mud.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>
> >
> >A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the difference between acne and MJ... Michael Jackson?
> >
> >A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> >
> >A. Marry it.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
> >
> >A. Your ass kicked.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a
>hooker?
> >
> >A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
> >
> >A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're
>driving.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
> >
> >A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat
>at thirty miles an hour.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. Why do women call it PMS?
> >
> >A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> >
> >A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a
>cliff in your new car.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the height of conceit?
> >
> >A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the definition of macho?
> >
> >A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
> >
> >A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
>
> >
> >A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole
>weak.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
> >
> >A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
> >
> >A. You know she'll swallow.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
>education on the same day in Iraq?
> >
> >A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and
>a Jewish wife?
> >
> >A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake
>jewellery.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
>ball?
> >
> >A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
> >
> >************************************************* ********************
>
> >
> >Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch
>know when it is bedtime?
> >
> >A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
>clean the house?
> >
> >A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's
>not time.
> >
> >************************************************* *********************
>
> >
> >Q. Do you know how Islam's practice safe sex?
> >
> >A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals
>that kick.
************************************************** *******************
> >Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> >
> >A. Because it's worth it
************************************************** *