I know EXACTLY what you mean. My ex and I fought over money, she got ME (not her) into $15,000 debt which I am digging myself out of. She knew she had a problem, she came crying and apologizing to me, handed me her debit card, swore she would not open any new one or any new credit cards, apologized profusely for fucking up.
Two weeks later, she got another debit card and 2 credit cards. She said she is independant and never had to rely on anyone (my giving her an "allowance" for the week...hey sorry, you've been fucking up for 3 years, what do you want from me? Besides the allowance thing was her idea). So I took the credit card out of her pocketbook. She freaked. I told her to go fuck herself, take your fucking card and spend like an asshole, I seperated my money from hers, she would not rip up the card, our sex life became non-existent, so now we're seperated. How do I feel? Great, relaxed, at peace, working out a lot, looking great! If you try and try and try to work it out with someone, and they are unwilling to reciprocate or be mature on their end and accept their faults, then the only option is to end it. Sorry, but I don't believe in counseling simply because you can't ask a marriage counselor to change your spouses' personality!