ALBOB

Once upon a time, there was a female brain cell
which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried...but no answer. "Is there anyone here?"

She cried a little louder, but still no answer....

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled:
"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away ..

"Hello - we're all down here...."

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

DaMayor

You're just getting warmed up, right?

MJ23

"It is hard to believe a man is telling the truth, when you know you would lie if you were in his shoes."

Rusty

I hope so, cause that joke sucked.......

~RUSTY~

craig777

Isn't that one of those oxy-morons, like military intelligence

ALBOB

Watch it, you're one of us now.

Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

craig777

I'm one of you, I was intelligent and got out of the military

david

CourtQueen

HOW TO DUMP A MAN

Some of you single gals will really enjoy this....


HOW TO DUMP A MAN

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from
further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the
competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified
candidates
such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however,
keep
your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may
find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me
to
offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the
competition.

Check those that apply...

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating
it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can
picture
myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a
little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload"
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my
personality.

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20
questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about
myself.

___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your
hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be
beaten
up repeatedly at recess.

___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from
trying to
kiss you.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily
unappealing.

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in
conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek
uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect
that
you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking
in
a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should
however,
happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your
application.

___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were
really
necessary for a successful business trip.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,
______________________

craig777

Hey, those are all good qualities for a man

david

Good joke, Courtqueen!

mesomorphin'

I heard that by the time Albob's warmed up, it all over.
I don't believe that for a minute, though.
I think Albob doesn't warm it up so much as plug it in....

There's one way to find out....