Failed at mother's day

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 07:49 AM

Alright, a show of hands. How many guys failed at Mother's day.

I did, my wife hasn't spoken to me since Saturday morning.

**Jodi** · 05-12-2003, 07:51 AM

So what DIDN'T you do?

**naturaltan** · 05-12-2003, 07:52 AM

do tell Craig?

**Rusty** · 05-12-2003, 07:52 AM

Originally posted by craig777
Alright, a show of hands. How many guys failed at Mother's day.

I did, my wife hasn't spoken to me since Saturday morning.

See there is the whole problem. You need to let your wife know that she is not your mother. Hence the name "Mothers Day". I helped my kids fix their mother dinner saturday night, no gifts, no cards......notta...........fuck all that stuff. My wife is not my mother. Craig, stand up and tell her to think of her mother and grandmother and not her self.

Disclaimer:....this thread was not intended to flame you or anyones else. Just the truth.

**I Are Baboon** · 05-12-2003, 07:53 AM

Uh oh Craig, what happened?

The wife and I have no kids, but we made the rounds:

Visited her grandmother in the morning, gave her flowers and a card
Visited my mom the afternoon, flowers and a card.
Took her mom out to dinner.

**naturaltan** · 05-12-2003, 07:55 AM

Rusty ... that's my argument exactly.

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 07:58 AM

Well, I guess it started with me trying to be nice to my ex and I said I would take my boys to her house Saturday evening. That really hurt my wife, but I was just trying to be nice.

The next thing I did was my 10 year old wanted me to help him make a gift for his mom Saturday morning. I was stupid and I helped him.

Now I am really in the dog house, so I went to the store Saturday afternoon and got flowers, a helium balloon, and chocolate covered strawberries. This made it worse.

Now it is really really bad.

Then I didn't realize that she bought me a shop vac last year for father's day, and I didn't get an expensive gift for her.

So now she isn't speaking to me.

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 07:58 AM

Originally posted by Rusty
See there is the whole problem. You need to let your wife know that she is not your mother. Hence the name "Mothers Day". I helped my kids fix their mother dinner saturday night, no gifts, no cards......notta...........fuck all that stuff. My wife is not my mother. Craig, stand up and tell her to think of her mother and grandmother and not her self.

Disclaimer:....this thread was not intended to flame you or anyones else. Just the truth.

This is exactly what I told my wife Rusty and she got mad as hell!! So what??? Big damn deal!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:01 AM

Originally posted by Rusty
See there is the whole problem. You need to let your wife know that she is not your mother. Hence the name "Mothers Day". I helped my kids fix their mother dinner saturday night, no gifts, no cards......notta...........fuck all that stuff. My wife is not my mother. Craig, stand up and tell her to think of her mother and grandmother and not her self.

Disclaimer:....this thread was not intended to flame you or anyones else. Just the truth.

Well I try to treat my wife like she is a precious jewel, and it doesn't seem to matter. I don't understand women at all.

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 08:02 AM

Originally posted by craig777
The next thing I did was my 10 year old wanted me to help him make a gift for his mom Saturday morning. I was stupid and I helped him.

Should you not have helped your child?? I better keep my mouth shut on this one!!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:02 AM

Originally posted by dg806
Should you not have helped your child?? I better keep my mouth shut on this one!!

My wife has an intense, and I mean intense hatred of my ex-wife

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 08:03 AM

Originally posted by craig777
Well I try to treat my wife like she is a precious jewel, and it doesn't seem to matter. I don't understand women at all.

You should.......but I don't think yesterday should mean that you have to buy them something! Give up trying....you will never understand!

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 08:05 AM

Originally posted by craig777
My wife has an intense, and I mean intense hatred of my ex-wife

I can understand that! But she married you knowing that and should not come between your kids and her and sometimes it involves you too! JMO!!!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:06 AM

Originally posted by dg806
I can understand that! But she married you knowing that and should not come between your kids and her and sometimes it involves you too! JMO!!!

I know that when she married me, she thought she could handle me being married before. It is not working out that way. Her hatred seems to get worse and worse.

**Mudge** · 05-12-2003, 08:14 AM

Geez man, she just needs to learn to deal with it, even though it sounds like its going to be really difficult for her. BUT there is nothing that you did wrong IMO, I can understand that it could be difficult for her but its not your fault!!!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:17 AM

Originally posted by Mudge
Geez man, she just needs to learn to deal with it, even though it sounds like its going to be really difficult for her. BUT there is nothing that you did wrong IMO, I can understand that it could be difficult for her but its not your fault!!!

Oh well, I tried.

**Jodi** · 05-12-2003, 08:20 AM

Originally posted by craig777
I know that when she married me, she thought she could handle me being married before. It is not working out that way. Her hatred seems to get worse and worse.

Then she needs to deal with the issue. Your a father, you need to be there for your kids and she comes second. I don't have kids nor will I ever but I remain true to the belief of children come first.

JMHO

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 08:23 AM

Originally posted by Jodi
I don't have kids nor will I ever but I remain true to the belief of children come first.

JMHO

Don't say never......you never know what the future holds.

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:24 AM

Originally posted by Jodi
Then she needs to deal with the issue. Your a father, you need to be there for your kids and she comes second. I don't have kids nor will I ever but I remain true to the belief of children come first.

JMHO

No, I think that my wife should come before my kids, but I didn't see the harm in helping him with a gift for his mom. I always put her before my kids, because they will eventually grow up and move away.

**Jodi** · 05-12-2003, 08:24 AM

Oh I mean never. I don't want any!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:28 AM

I think that children is another issue that she won't talk about. When we got married she wanted a child by her and I. I have been neutered, and I also said that I didn't want any more kids. I am almost 43 years old. This issue lies dormant and probably came back for Mother's day.

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 08:45 AM

Originally posted by craig777
No, I think that my wife should come before my kids, but I didn't see the harm in helping him with a gift for his mom. I always put her before my kids, because they will eventually grow up and move away.

Not saying you are making the wrong decision, but my kids would come first. I would boot my wife out if it came to that. And then I would get re-married. (I think???)

**Mudge** · 05-12-2003, 08:49 AM

Honestly, if she knew all that up front yet again, its just something she has to deal with. I can understand wanting kids, but if she knew, she knew. I can also understand that it would be tough but again, she has to learn to deal with it, at least better. Your not at fault for doing anything wrong I think.

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 08:49 AM

Originally posted by dg806
Not saying you are making the wrong decision, but my kids would come first. I would boot my wife out if it came to that. And then I would get re-married. (I think???)

You know what I don't understand. We are going on a cruise in November. Just her and I to get away. We said no kids. Now she invited her 19 year old to go. The one that we had to kick out of the house twice. This is going to be a nightmare. I have no desire to go anymore.

**lina** · 05-12-2003, 09:06 AM

Originally posted by craig777
My wife has an intense, and I mean intense hatred of my ex-wife

I'm sorry to hear this Craigy...

I think the issue seems deeper...

She must probably feel a need to control you and your actions by making you feel guilty.

Let her know that you have duties to your children and that you love your children and in order for them to grow up healthy, secure, etc individuals you need to have a good relationship with your ex. Your wife may have some self-esteem, insecurities issues and may not be able to deal with this, but she should not use her feelings to manipulate the relationship your sons have with their mother.

Don't worry... my hubby forgot totally about Mother's day 2 years ago....

!!!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 09:09 AM

Originally posted by lina
I'm sorry to hear this Craigy...

I think the issue seems deeper...

She must probably feel a need to control you and your actions by making you feel guilty.

Let her know that you have duties to your children and that you love your children and in order for them to grow up healthy, secure, etc individuals you need to have a good relationship with your ex. Your wife may have some self-esteem, insecurities issues and may not be able to deal with this, but she should not use her feelings to manipulate the relationship your sons have with their mother.

Don't worry... my hubby forgot totally about Mother's day 2 years ago....

!!!

Boy, did you hit it right. She is a control freak like no one else. She also has a huge self esteem insecurity.

I just keep thinking though that if I treat her so special that she will have nothing to get mad about, but it doesn't work.

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 09:10 AM

I know that you didn't put him through hell.

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 09:25 AM

What started this weekend off so bad, is that her youngest son who is 15 and a freshman in high school. Was suspended and has to go to alternate school for a week and a half for fighting on Friday. He also got a citation and has to go to court and pay a $250 dollar fine. Which we are going to have to pay. He called me to pick him up from school on Friday, so I left work and went and sat in the vice principals office for about an hour and signed all the paper work and talked to the police officer. When my wife got home I got the third degree because I didn't handle it correctly. I wasn't the one that got in the fight, but she was mad at me because I should have gotten the policemans name and badge number.

**ZECH** · 05-12-2003, 09:29 AM

Craig, You must really be in a tough situation. I really think you need to put your foot down. If you don't, it will be more things in the future just like this. She will get over it, believe me! I know you love her, but there is only so much you can take and put up with, or should have to! Lina had excellent advice!!

**craig777** · 05-12-2003, 09:39 AM

Originally posted by dg806
Craig, You must really be in a tough situation. I really think you need to put your foot down. If you don't, it will be more things in the future just like this. She will get over it, believe me! I know you love her, but there is only so much you can take and put up with, or should have to! Lina had excellent advice!!

We have gotten into so many fights, I can't count them all. It does no good. One time we were leaving church and she said she needed gas and she wanted me to go to a gas station and that she would follow in her car. Well I was going to a gas station, but it wasn't the one she wanted me to go to. So I look in my rear view mirror and she is gone, so I went home and when she got there she tore into me for not going to the right gas station.

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