I have a fear of speedbumps. But I'm slowly getting over it.
Jagbender's battle of the bulge The problems we face today are because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by the people who vote for a living
If you dress like a cowboy, are you ranch dressing?
What do you call a bear with no teeth? -A gummy bear.
I just ate a bubble gum colored crayon and it was delicious!!!
A broken coccyx is a pain in the ass!
I joined the Tourettes society last week. They just got finished swearing me in.
saw a Snowman in the produce aisle picking his nose.
I just found a trampoline on sale for 50% off! Needless to say I jumped on the offer.
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They always take things literally.
What concert cost 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickelback
Everybody has always said I was gullible and financially irresponsible. I'll bet they'll shut up when I tell them I won the Nigerian Lottery!!
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
If you ever walked into a room and tripped on a bra It was a booby trap.
I've never been skydiving, but I have zoomed in on Google earth really fast.
Someone called today and tried to sell me a coffin. I said, that's the last thing I need.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
I don't have a funny bone in my body.... No really.
Why don't you go slip into something more comfortable...like a coma