Dating Etiquette

**ponyboy** · 08-01-2003, 11:16 AM

This is purely for opinions...maybe should be in sexual health...

I got out of a really awful (like she was a stalker awful) relationship about three months ago and just started to date again recently (when I felt I was ready). Had a few dates with one girl, but still meeting others and have had other dates with other girls as well...

Do you tell women about other people that you have had dates with or don't bother because they're just going to get p/o'd? For example, I went out with one girl on Tuesday, had a great time and am definitely seeing her again. But then I have another dinner planned with another girl on Saturday night. Should I let them both know about the other?

This is mostly for the women on the board b/c I know the guys will tell me don't bother...if you were on a date with a guy and planning on seeing him again, would you want to know that he had gone out with someone else recently? Or would you even care?

**Jenny** · 08-01-2003, 11:44 AM

I'd say tell them. It's not what a girl likes to hear, I know I'd get pretty dissapointed if I was dating a guy I liked and he told me he was out with different girls every night. But, I would rather have him say it and be honest about it.
Not on the first date though, maybe after 3 dates.
Girls tell their friends about their dates and she or some of her friends will see you out with other girls sooner or later.
Honesty always works.

And when you find a real keeper, stop dating the others and tell her about it.

**brennan** · 08-01-2003, 11:59 AM

dont say anything bcs. u might lose both of them! ahaha...nah but i wouldnt say shit yet unless u start to like one of them for real then dead the other girls...ya heard

**Jodi** · 08-01-2003, 12:27 PM

I would say wait until your date Saturday. If you think you would like to see her again then you need to tell them both. You've only gone on one date and that in no way constitues as a relationship yet. If you choose to continue dating both then they need to know about each other.

This is what I do anyway and I've found both parties to be mature about it as long as they know about the continuous dating. Of course I'm 31 and at my age we (but not all) are more mature about these things than most girls in their 20's (no way an insult to anyone just an age thing). But if you feel you want to take the next step with one of them, don't keep the other girl hanging for "just in case" situation. Let her loose. JMHO!

**ZECH** · 08-01-2003, 12:34 PM

I think your asking for trouble if you tell them!

**Mudge** · 08-01-2003, 12:36 PM

Sometimes if I bring it up I say "I had a friend that..." etc, once I get to know somebody though you should be able to talk about anything and have no problems IMO. But obviously on a first date or something, it makes things uneasy, and hopefully you spend those early times getting to know each other not wanting to know right away "hey show me your laundry."

**Bubbathug** · 08-01-2003, 01:12 PM

Tell them. You may find out that you are not the only person they are dating. Plus, if you end up sticking with one of them and it comes out later that you were dating another person, all the trust that has been built in the relationship will be gone.

And it is a good test of their maturity.

**RCfootball87** · 08-01-2003, 02:52 PM

BIG PIMPIN!

That's the same shit I do, so it might not be a good idea for you ponyboy, as your probably wanting to get married someday or something like that.

**gr81** · 08-01-2003, 07:59 PM

I don't think it is really relevant, you are in the dating scene so you are dating. Look at it like this though, you don't want to come across like she is the only one you are dating either b/c you want to give the impression that your stock is high, but you don't want to come out and say that you are dating someone else just sounding like you are trying to brag to her, you know. If she asks then mention a little something, but don't go into detail, just enough to kind of keep her wondering still. You want her to feel like you are in the bag easy, you want her to work a little to win her over and if she thinks there is competition than that will be a good thing, right. Anyway if you do mention something about another girl and she DOES freak after one date than you don't want to be with a girl like that anyway so its all good.

**ponyboy** · 08-02-2003, 03:44 PM

Basically I've decided that the best thing to do after reading these responses (and thank you, BTW)...is to only tell after I've decided if I want to see one more than the other, or at all. On a first date you really shouldn't bring stuff up like that anyway.

Here's a follow up question:

Do you shag them both to help with the decision?

**gr81** · 08-02-2003, 08:13 PM

do I even have to answer that, I think you know. Have them ride you like a..... a pony!

**Blieb** · 08-03-2003, 11:58 PM

Hey buddy ... can ya spare a chick?

LOL

**RCfootball87** · 08-04-2003, 01:20 AM

Originally posted by ponyboy
Here's a follow up question:

Do you shag them both to help with the decision?

I don't know whether to smack you in the face or let you borrow some of my testoterone.

**firestorm** · 08-04-2003, 04:01 AM

I wouldn't tell either of them because it could end any chance you may have and you never know if "she" was miss right. My advice is play the field until you meet someone you really really like and want to date steady. Then you break off any other relationships. Just don't get to the point where either or both girls are in assumption that your going steady or then your being decietful and cheating.

**ponyboy** · 08-04-2003, 01:49 PM

This always happens...good dates, two girls...each of which have qualities I'm looking for but not ALL of them.

Girl #1: Athletic, outgoing, likes to have fun...but probably about a 6/10 on the looks scale and lives out of town so she's harder to see. Also doesn't have a good job and little ambition.

Girl #2: Also in great shape, 9/10 on the looks scale (she's freakin' hot), has a great job and a promising future. But not really all that outgoing and seems quiet.

Ever have these situations where you wish you could put two girls together?

**LAM** · 08-04-2003, 01:51 PM

if you are not exclusively dating one or the other then they do not need to know....

**firestorm** · 08-04-2003, 06:22 PM

Originally posted by ponyboy
This always happens...good dates, two girls...each of which have qualities I'm looking for but not ALL of them.

Girl #1: Athletic, outgoing, likes to have fun...but probably about a 6/10 on the looks scale and lives out of town so she's harder to see. Also doesn't have a good job and little ambition.

Girl #2: Also in great shape, 9/10 on the looks scale (she's freakin' hot), has a great job and a promising future. But not really all that outgoing and seems quiet.

Ever have these situations where you wish you could put two girls together?

PONEYBOY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? ARE YOU KIDDING? You found a girl that is QUIET??? Bro THAT IS THE ONE!!! If you don't want that one I'll take her!!!!

**gr81** · 08-04-2003, 07:53 PM

^^yea what he said.

seriously though, a 9????Is this a toronto 9 or an LA 9. A 9 that is ambitious, has a good job, and doesn't talk alot??? I don't really believe this you know.

**firestorm** · 08-05-2003, 12:32 AM

Me either GR8,, if that were all true he wouldn't be asking for our opinions, he would know that is a God Send.

**gr81** · 08-05-2003, 03:25 AM

ha ha true dat, you don't see alot of 9s walkin around, and if you do they are with a baller most likely.

**ponyboy** · 08-05-2003, 09:40 AM

Can't believe so many guys are into the quiet girls...I guess she's a Toronto 9, an LA nine would be like an 11.5 here, I'm sure

. She's 5'6", about 110 pounds...good amount of muscle tone, abs you can see (which is a major turn on) and really nice eyes.

Quiet girls get on my nerves because it's always an effort to have a conversation with them. Although it's a trade off. I hate girls who talk too much as well.

.

One thing I've learned over the years tho is that looks aren't everything...I'd much rather have a girl who's personality is a 9 and looks are a 7 than the other way around. Anyone agree?

**gr81** · 08-06-2003, 08:38 PM

nope, you can't fuck her personality dude

**crackerjack414** · 08-06-2003, 08:57 PM

heres what i do iam in your in the same postion tell them u like seeing them and u are seeing other people never use names or a number of people. Girls can be a jelous thing so u dont wanna mention the other girls u are seeing.

nothing wrong with quite girls they are usuely the most fun once u can get them to open up they are the truely freaky ones from my expereinces.

**Mudge** · 08-06-2003, 09:30 PM

Some people are casual daters, others dont like it because they are looking for something more serious, so its an individual thing.

**oaktownboy** · 08-06-2003, 09:32 PM

don't say shit. just have fun dawg

**gr81** · 08-06-2003, 10:04 PM

"..must be a lady in the light but real freaky in the dark.."

**kuso** · 08-08-2003, 04:12 AM

Originally posted by ponyboy

Ever have these situations where you wish you could put two girls together?

= threesome

**ponyboy** · 08-08-2003, 06:33 AM

Yeah, I wish...

I think they would get a little bitter: "Hey, I know we have a date, but would you mind if I brought another girl along with us? Who knows, maybe you two would hit it off

.

This weekend I have a date with one Saturday night, dinner with the other Sunday, and then another date Monday night with an ex girlfriend. I don't like where this is headed. I feel like the cat with his paws on too many mice.

**awsof** · 08-08-2003, 07:54 AM

OK.. I'm always amazed that if you go on a date with a girl, and she likes you, automatically in her mind they assume exclusiveness. This has been an issue for many a men for a long time. It seems to be the way they think. After all isn't being exclusive the next level? So at that rate, you'll be married with kids within a month. It makes no sense. After you get to know one another after several dates, then you talk about the possibility of being a steady exclusive relationship. Until then if you date others or not is none of her business unless she point blank asks. Then tell. If she forces an exclusive relationship after a couple of dates it is more likely that she is insecure. It's not that "your the man" like your ego tells you. It all takes time. I wish I knew then what I know now... After a whole lot of practice you'll see it's a one way street and no matter what way you go it's the wrong way...

**gr81** · 08-08-2003, 08:23 PM

not necessarily, all you have to do is tell her what you want and expect from the beginning and if she doesn't like that then find a new bitch. If you meet a girl and the first thing you tell her is that you don't want an exclusive relationship, she can't get mad at you if things progress further b/c she knows beforehand what you want.

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