Thread: i need some advice from the ladies about this girl i like....

Attempting to woo a woman with "something going on upstairs" by making out with her when she has a boyfriend sounds like your saying she doesn't have much going on up there. Give her some credit, open your mouth, and dont wag your tongue at her, speak with it!

Originally posted by cheesegrater
Why is it so immoral to want a girl that happens to be in a relationship?

I wont get into the bible and what it states, since your not religious. However, it is not IMO the wanting, it is the fact that you plan to cheat with her to get her away, as if to say she only wants you for sex and you dont value her brain which IMO is an insult to her intelligence, and yet you say that she is more than just good looking but you dont say much about it with the way you plan to handle yourself. You even go so far as to virtually complain that you can't talk to her because it would be crying, isn't it just like most "men" to say they can't talk about things because it would show emotion. Nobody said you had to cry, where you got that idea I dont know, but you dont sound terribly mature in how you handle women.

"I dont talk to women, I just, wow them until they want me." I would bet that builds strong relationships with women who dont need much more than that, i.e. not the kind of woman I want to be with. I need some conversation and mental stimulisation too, apperantly you dont require much of that.

Originally posted by cheesegrater

J'Bo.....life doesn't always work out perfectly so that the girl that is right for me happens to be single when i want her.

Well there are just some things you don't do.......

Why is it so immoral to want a girl that happens to be in a relationship?

Because technically she is off the market. She has someone that already peaks her interest she doesn't need you complicating the situation. If you respect her, and she wants to get with you then you wait until she ends her relationship. That is if you really like her. Otherwise all you are doing is creating problems for the both of you. BTW, what would you be doing with a girl that leaves someone she probably loves for someone else....She could do the same thing to you considering she did it to someone she most likely loved. So the depth of the feelings she creates with you could potentially have not that much value. It is pretty obvious. Judge her character buddy. Why would you want to be with someone that could potentially do that to someone? Probably because she is hot.

I am more than open to meeting girls whenever, wherever. I simply have not met a girl i like as much as her. Why is that so hard for you to understand? The girl i like happens to be in a relationship, and pardon me for being so selfish as to want to pursue what i feel will be real happiness.

Well then it says alot about you......

I'm fed up with being in situations that aren't in my best interests. This girl is in my best interests.

How do you know she is? I don't think you are evaluating the situation properly if you are willing to get with someone that could do something like that to someone else. She is in your best interest to get in to problems, if you think that there won't be any, you have got another thing coming to you.

Originally posted by gr81
hey J' don't hate the player, hate the game and you females are the ones layin down the rules. You have to play the game to get what you want, and I don't see how what I said is any different than what you said to him. If you females weren't so fuckin hipocritical and contradictory, not to mention irrational, then things might run a bit smoother.

you hilarious...i know all about the game and how to play it...although most times (i said most not all) i tend to not play it...if i want to just screw someone i would say it...its your approach that kills me and how you sound like you treat women without respect.

Cheese...i am just telling you my opinion honey...i too was interested in someone that i have been friends with for quite some time but he had a girlfriend...i later realized that there really is no point to waiting or presuing because someone will get hurt and that just isnt right...period.

DJ...

Originally posted by J'Bo
DJ...

Right back at you.....

Originally posted by Mudge
Attempting to woo a woman with "something going on upstairs" by making out with her when she has a boyfriend sounds like your saying she doesn't have much going on up there. Give her some credit, open your mouth, and dont wag your tongue at her, speak with it!



I wont get into the bible and what it states, since your not religious. However, it is not IMO the wanting, it is the fact that you plan to cheat with her to get her away, as if to say she only wants you for sex and you dont value her brain which IMO is an insult to her intelligence, and yet you say that she is more than just good looking but you dont say much about it with the way you plan to handle yourself. You even go so far as to virtually complain that you can't talk to her because it would be crying, isn't it just like most "men" to say they can't talk about things because it would show emotion. Nobody said you had to cry, where you got that idea I dont know, but you dont sound terribly mature in how you handle women.

"I dont talk to women, I just, wow them until they want me." I would bet that builds strong relationships with women who dont need much more than that, i.e. not the kind of woman I want to be with. I need some conversation and mental stimulisation too, apperantly you dont require much of that.

i should have deleted this thread once i got the info i want....

i'll try and explain this as concisely as possible. For my whole life i've had self esteem issues. I never am sure a girl likes me until i'm kissing her. It's getting better now, but it's still sorta there with girls i like. I've had the talk about telling a girl how i felt and it degenerated into an emotional quagmire that i'd rather not visit again. I'm not afraid to show emotion to a woman, in fact i'm open to it in the right situation. However getting emotional with a girl before anything ever happens will ruin any chance we would have. Girls have done that with me and it completely turned me off. I'm not trying to trick her into cheating on her boyfriend. I am a christian, however i found that organized religion constricted my growth. I will fight to the death defending creation and salvation, i just feel that there are contradictions in the bible that outdate themselves 2000 years later.

I honestly have no idea how i plan to handle myself when i go for it. I don't want to use her seeming attraction to me to get her in bed to break up with her boyfriend, i'd much rather she do it first then get with me. However in situations like these, which i've had before, the best laid plans very often go to waste. In fact i'm purposely not planning what to say, i just kinda want to wing it.

i'll be the first to admit that i don't reflect my age in how i deal with women. I didn't have sex until i was 24 mainly because i was scared how it affect me as a christian. As a result my emotional growth was stunted. I've made up years in the last few months, but there's ways to go. And don't go psycho-analyzing that i want this 18 year old to fill a void i never had when i was 18. I've thought that thru and honestly believe the feelings are real.

i try not to "wow" her until she wants me. She's the only girl i've ever liked a lot that i've been able to be myself around. I don't want her to want me because she may simply think i'm hot, or older, or whatever, i want her to want me because she likes who i am. I've tried to make sure of this, for the very reason that i do need mental chemistry with a girl and i don't want her to think i just want sex. I'm pretty sure she likes me for my personality rather than looks or body or whatever becuase there is such great chemistry, and with that would have to think she thinks along the same lines.

Originally posted by J'Bo
:
Cheese...i am just telling you my opinion honey...i too was interested in someone that i have been friends with for quite some time but he had a girlfriend...i later realized that there really is no point to waiting or presuing because someone will get hurt and that just isnt right...period.

DJ...

i understand the thinking of someone getting hurt. I'd rather that not have to happen. However if someone is going to get hurt, i'd rather it be him than me. If not being with her is going to hurt me long term in some way, if she is going to be the one that got away (which i have a strong feeling she will be if i don't pursue it) than i will do what i have to in order to avoid hurt. If that makes me selfish, so be it. If that makes me immoral, so be it. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Not pursuing happiness got me 2 years of utter depression and mental breakdown. I rather not repeat that, pardon my selfishness..........

Originally posted by cheesegrater
i'll try and explain this as concisely as possible. For my whole life i've had self esteem issues.

I feel you on that one. I have always relied on myself though for figuring things out, not always the best way of course but thats how I am. My short advice is talk to her and be honest, and whatever happens happens. Even if she says no, then at least you can move on and let it roll off your shoulders. When I was younger, it was not that easy and it would have made me depressed.

For me its simple, "hey, would you maybe be interested in going out sometime?" of course you can mention the boyfriend thing if you want, although it would be rather obvious, I suppose it would be important to touch on.

Good luck

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Cheesegater, you ask everyone questions and then you debate us about our answers. If you're so sure you were right in the first place, although I think you're full of shit, no offense, then why did you ask us?

Originally posted by RCfootball87
Cheesegater, you ask everyone questions and then you debate us about our answers. If you're so sure you were right in the first place, although I think you're full of shit, no offense, then why did you ask us?

i never asked ANYONE whether or not i could go for her based on whatever circumstances, i simply asked whether it appeared to the females here that she is attracted to me. I'm sure that she's right for me, i'm sure we'd be great......i was unsure of whether i was reading the signs correctly. I don't know what you mean by thinking i'm full of shit.............