Thread: i made a HUGE mistake with this girl-how do i fix it?

Ok. From what you are saying, she liked you before you started acting like a tool. Then when you thought she didn't like you, you stopped acting like a tool and got back to being yourself. Then she started to like you again, so you started acting like a tool again. (I really don't use the word tool this much but it seems to be the perfect word in this case.)

How do I fix this? Stop acting like a tool. Stop thinking about banging her all the time (sometimes women just want to watch movies). She obviously thinks you are a nice guy and maybe someone she could be interested in if you would just stop freaking out all the time.

Just hang out with her and be yourself. If she wants to see you more she will give you the signs again.

I just read your post again. You are way over thinking this. All this happened in less than a week? It's only Thursday. You need more things to worry about.

And if your not going to live by your sig. line then you should change it.

Originally posted by Bubbathug
Ok. From what you are saying, she liked you before you started acting like a tool. Then when you thought she didn't like you, you stopped acting like a tool and got back to being yourself. Then she started to like you again, so you started acting like a tool again. (I really don't use the word tool this much but it seems to be the perfect word in this case.)

How do I fix this? Stop acting like a tool. Stop thinking about banging her all the time (sometimes women just want to watch movies). She obviously thinks you are a nice guy and maybe someone she could be interested in if you would just stop freaking out all the time.

Just hang out with her and be yourself. If she wants to see you more she will give you the signs again.

I just read your post again. You are way over thinking this. All this happened in less than a week? It's only Thursday. You need more things to worry about.

And if your not going to live by your sig. line then you should change it.

i now know she is/was interested in me in hinsdight. My problem with her is that i am "fuck it all and fucking no regrets" with every girl, except her. I don't know why.

the reason i think it was more than watching movies is a) she's never really asked me over to her house to spend time alone and b) it was kinda awkward when i saw her the next day, ; she was obviously feeling either rejected or confusion. She said something like "We're gonna go to the patio (of the bar i met her at)", i said i had to wait for my buddy to get back from the bathroom (a reasonable thing i'd think) and she starts saying, in a mocking tone "oh, gotta wait for your boyfriend......."

i just want to know if i should be the one to call her or if i should wait for her.

As a person who has dealt with being shy, I say suck it up and stop being a pussy JUST DO IT.

Some wise person once said, "GET CONFIDENT, STUPID!"

Dont live with regrets, its not fun, if you think you have a shot then fucking go for it.

in my opinion...its not gonna work for several reasons.

#1 you obviously like her more than she likes you and so your going to get hurt
#2 if you were in "depression" over her then there is much more to this story and i agree with Mudge...get confidence and then go for girls...girls sniff out insecurities and its a HUGE turn off...once she smells it your a goner (sorry to be blunt here)
#3 i really think from what you said that she just wants to watch a movie
#4 if i am wrong and she doesnt want to watch movies its not cause she likes you its because she wants to get laid...and there fore your going to get hurt
#5 if you have been playing games with this girl for that long then it wasnt meant to be...real love and relationships just happen in the begining...no trying or games or mixed feelings its just pure heaven.

JMHO though

see, the reason i fell into depression over her is that i thought she didn't like me. looking back, it seems, and i've been told, she did. I can't explain to you how shy and insecure i was when we first met. She could have asked me to have sex and i would have thought she was playing a joke on me; that exact thought had run thru my head with other girls.

IF she liked me, she had to have gotten fed up with me for not doing anything. I have very reliable sources telling me she liked me. And her behavior changed arund me right around the time i started acting myself in general.

i realize that it may sound like i'm grasping at straws here, but my gut feeling is that at the very least she wanted some.

i agree, if it was just to get laid, i probably made the right indecision. But how do i know? Do i somehow bring it up?

J'Bo.....so there is no chance for two people to have a relationship if it doesn't happen right away? That can't be true. People change over time.


anyhoo, i have to know for sure. I had almost gotten to the point of accepting she would never want me again, then this happens and throws me for a loop. I just wanna know what to do.

Originally posted by J'Bo

#4 if i am wrong and she doesnt want to watch movies its not cause she likes you its because she wants to get laid...and there fore your going to get hurt


JMHO though

another thing..........she is a kind of girl that "sees" guys before she calls them her boyfriend, whatever "sees" means. I can't help thinking (and hoping?) that it was an audition of sorts.

In other words you are not her boyfriend right off the bat, which makes sense to me. Even being flirty does not neccessarily mean she wants to bone you, I dont know why you even think that unless she seems slutty, but it would not be terribly abnormal that maybe she hoped something would happen to get things going yada yada.

You have to learn to control your emotions and such so that they dont rule your life like this, I know because I have been spending my whole life learning how to be somewhat normal, I'm only 2 years older than you.

another thing i forgot.......

my buddy who knows the whole story and coincidentally been with me the last 4 or 5 times i saw her, when i noticed a change, couldn't believe i didn't go to her place. He was telling me it's so obvious she wants it yadda yadda and how stupid i was for making that mistake. He knows a hell of a lot more about girls and various situations than me and he said for sure it was for sex. I said, it could have been innocent, he said "why the hell would she invite you over to watch a movie if she didn't REALLY want you there?" I had no answer; see we aren't good friends that hang out often, i avoid that like the plague. Especially since she knew i was going out that night.

i just say this because i'm now almost convinced it was for sex or for something to happen. No offense, but i don't need to be told i have to control my emotions, believe me i know. I simply want to know what the best next move would be, because i want to close this one way or another........NOW.

Originally posted by Mudge
In other words you are not her boyfriend right off the bat, which makes sense to me. Even being flirty does not neccessarily mean she wants to bone you, I dont know why you even think that unless she seems slutty, but it would not be terribly abnormal that maybe she hoped something would happen to get things going yada yada.

she's sorta slutty..........depending on your definition, but that ain't a problem for me, i've sorta become slutty myself.

the point is that when i knew she didn't want me, she NEVER flirted with me; all of a sudden i change some things and boom, she's throwing signals.

i'm gonna call her tomorrow, see if she wants to hang out.

k. you just admitted that she is kinda slutty. and you also admitted that you actually like her and not just for sexual relations. so what do you expect?
plus dude why would you even think about ditching your plans for anyone? thats just rude. personally i would never ditch my friends for a man.

Originally posted by cheesegrater
No offense, but i don't need to be told i have to control my emotions, believe me i know. I simply want to know what the best next move would be, because i want to close this one way or another........NOW.

Then go freaking live your life already! Open your mouth and say something instead of choking on your tongue.

I agree with J on this that if you two didn't hit it right away you aren't going to be in a relationship or you will be in a bad relationship. You already can't communicate with each other. If it is meant to be, there aren't any games involved.

Another thing is, why do you wait until the day of to see if she wants to hang out? What if she already has plans? Are you going to over think why she doesn't want to hang out with you? If you really want some alone time with her, give her some lead time as to when, where, and what.

Dude,

Just take a deep breath and call whenever you want. If she is not receptive try another time. If you are into her you'll keep trying. What she thinks or doesn't think will come out later and will most likely be the opposite of what you thought she was thinking. When you two do get together, if its good it will be good, However, recognize if its not and then move on.

It's just two people getting together. Not very complicated... Except in your head. Stop the busy thinking............

"Just do it"

Originally posted by Bubbathug
I agree with J on this that if you two didn't hit it right away you aren't going to be in a relationship or you will be in a bad relationship. You already can't communicate with each other. If it is meant to be, there aren't any games involved.

Another thing is, why do you wait until the day of to see if she wants to hang out? What if she already has plans? Are you going to over think why she doesn't want to hang out with you? If you really want some alone time with her, give her some lead time as to when, where, and what.

Now here is someone that has felt that lustful feeling of pre-love...thats what i am talkin about Once you have experienced it you can never go back

Thanks J. I just wish someone had told me the same thing when I was younger.

So Cheesegrater, how about an update for those of us that don't have a social life?

Originally posted by J'Bo
personally i would never ditch my friends for a man.

Really now??

yah really.