Reply With QuoteWeirdo
After leaving the racetrack last Sunday, I stopped at a rest stop to take a break and visit the restroom. The first stall was occupied, so I went into the second one. I was no sooner seated than I heard a voice from the next stall: "Hi, how are you doing?"
Well, I am not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, but being from the South and wanting to be polite, I answered, a little embarrassed: "Not too bad."
And the stranger said: "What are you up to right now?"
Talk about your dumb questions! I was really beginning to think this was too weird! So I said: "Well, just headed down the interstate like you."
Then, I heard the stranger, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I am asking you."
Funny
Results 1 to 4 of 4
Thread: Funny
-
09-29-2003, 12:46 PM #1Super Hero in Training
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Gender
- Location
- Mezar E Sharif, Afghanistan
- Posts
- 30,770
- Rep Points
- 94593570
Funny
Air Force Maintenance Logs
Never let it be said that Air Force ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by Air Force pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. (P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem
THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed
-
09-29-2003, 12:58 PM #2Super Hero in Training
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Gender
- Location
- Mezar E Sharif, Afghanistan
- Posts
- 30,770
- Rep Points
- 94593570
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem
THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed
-
09-29-2003, 01:14 PM #3Super Hero in Training
- Join Date
- Mar 2002
- Gender
- Location
- Mezar E Sharif, Afghanistan
- Posts
- 30,770
- Rep Points
- 94593570
Oh Crap...
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and "doing it".
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in". The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem
THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
- Appollo Creed
-
09-29-2003, 01:37 PM #4Super Moderator SUPER MODERATOR
- Join Date
- Jun 2002
- Gender
- Location
- Bay Area
- Posts
- 24,268
- Rep Points
- 52981667
good stuff.
Motivation Bench form Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu
Disclaimer: All health, fitness, diet, nutrition, anabolic steroid & supplement information posted here is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice from a medical doctor. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you choose to use AAS it's your responsibility to know the laws of the country that you live in. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website.
Similar Threads
-
Funny pic!
By WFC2010 in forum Anabolic ZoneReplies: 1Last Post: 04-13-2010, 02:29 AM -
Funny...
By DOMS in forum Open ChatReplies: 5Last Post: 04-23-2006, 03:09 PM -
this is funny
By myCATpowerlifts in forum Open ChatReplies: 27Last Post: 03-10-2005, 09:04 PM -
Funny egg
By Chain Link in forum Open ChatReplies: 5Last Post: 02-14-2005, 07:34 PM -
Too Funny!
By Dr. Pain in forum Open ChatReplies: 5Last Post: 03-15-2003, 10:34 PM
Posting Permissions
DISCLAIMER:
All health, fitness, diet, nutrition & supplement information presented on IronMagazineForums.com's pages is intended as an educational resource and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website. As well as any exercise technique or regimen, diet, supplement, etc., particularly if you are pregnant or nursing, or if you are elderly or have chronic or recurring medical conditions. Discontinue any exercise that causes you pain or severe discomfort and consult a medical expert. The statements made about products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or health care practitioner regarding the suggestions and recommendations made at IronMagazineForums.com. Neither the author of the information, nor the producer, nor distributors of such information make any warranty of any kind in regard to the content of the information presented on this website. Except as specifically stated on this site, neither IronMagazineForums.com, nor any of its authors or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of, or in connection with the use of this site. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory, direct, indirect or consequential damages, loss of data, income or profit, loss of or damage to property and claims of third parties. Sponsors pay for advertising space, we have no affiliation with the companies that have banners displayed on our websites. Please be advised it is your responsibility to check the laws that govern your country, state, or province in regards to items offered by some companies you may read about on this site.