Need advice on woman!!! please help!!!

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 08:22 PM

Ok, here's the story in a shortened version....

I went out with this girl for 2.5 years (which was my first serious gf and the first girl i ever really cared about), and we broke up about 2 mo. ago.

Here's the background......during the school year, shit was great (she lived right next door, so we could see eachother all the time). But during the summer (this was our 3rd summer), we always had problems. She only lived 20min away, but she seemed to make it into a long dist. relationship.

Throughout our entire relationship, i only had 2 problems.
1) we "hooked up" very seldomly (she had an "accident" back in h.s. and had to get an abortion, so she was never really into hooking up after that). I had a hard time accepting that, but i learned to (i must've really like her huh?)
2) it always seemed like she was playing hard to get (we'd only see eachother during the summer if i went to her house, if i called her, etc. etc.)

So anyways, the beginning of the summer was ok, we both saw eachother the typical few times a week. Then i started working full time and she did too, plus she had an internship and was taking a summer class. I didn't hold her busy schedule against her, but i couldnt understand why she didnt call me.....

So after like 5 days of her not calling me, when we finally talked i asked her about this and we fought and she said something to the point of "i dont want to feel like i have to call you all the time" yada yada......

Alls i wanted was a call to say hi, even if she was like im tired and im going to bed you know....

so i called her like everyday after that to say hi, and again, she didnt call me for like 5 days. This time we got into a huge fight, and i kinda hinted at if something didnt change, we should break up. Towards the end she actually said "well if your gonna break up with me stop being such a pussy and do it". I was shocked! i'm thinking to myself are you kidding me?

This is the girl that asked me to move to cali with her, drop everything i had, and would always ask me if i ever would consider marrying her. yet, she couldnt understand that alls i wanted was a lowsy phone call saying"im tired, im going to bed now, miss you".....

If you're still paying attention, i told her i didnt want to do this anymore, so we broke up with that phone call. That was 2mo ago. A few weeks after, i tried calling just to say hi and such, and of course, she wouldnt call me back. I sent her a bday card and called her on her bdbay (which was like 3 weeks after) explaining i had no hard feelings, and how i enjoyed all the time we shared etc. etc. etc.....and she never called back.

FOR THE GRAND FINALE.... She im's tonite saying Hey, i jsut wanted to see how you're doing and all this other shit like we've been freinds all along.

So you know, i have absolutely no hard feelings for this girl. she was awesome while we were together (i wasnt getting "any" that often, yet i still stayed with her, she mustve been special huh?).

Do you think its kinda impersonal that she instant messages me after 2mo of nothing????

Any input, thoughts, ANYTHING would be appreciated. Its good cuz you guys are unbiased since you dont know either of us, and even though you obviously can't possible know every little detail, ANY INPUT WOULD BE GREAT!!!!!!

Thanks

**gr81** · 10-12-2003, 08:41 PM

well it is very simple my man, you need to forget about her man, plain and simple. I know where you are comin from, I had a similar experience with a girl a while back and I wish I knew then what I know now. She has obviously has checked out of the relationship man, you have to realize that people change and sometimes it is just time to end it. Besides she wasn't even letting you hit it very often when you were together, fuck that man, you need to man up and take charge of you sexual life. If she isn't willin to put out then make it clear ot her that you will get it somewhere else. Most importantly though, don't even talk to her anymore, there is no need to, and to get over someone with whom you had a relationship for that long with you need to cut it off and have time without her, trust me, if you keep in touch your feelings will linger around. Don't let her keep you in the bullpen so to speak. Girls are attention whores, yes even your little sweetheart, and they will take all the attention they can get. It is the perfect situation for her to have you calling her all the time and you giving her attention when she doesn't even have to fuck you, Cmon. It is time to move on, I guarantee you she has, so you need to also. You guys had a good run but it is over, she has made it clear. I know that it is hard to view your own relationships with a critical eye, especially when it is your first real serious GF, but trust me man, I know what I am talkin about, I have learned this the hard way. Find someone knew, she will never be into you when you keep calling her and shit, the only way she would be is if she saw that you got on with your life and didn't need her, girls are fucked up that way. its time to be an asshole and find a new bitch. GL

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 08:51 PM

Thanks bro,
I def hear you all the way. I have moved on, in the sense i get my shit on with other chicks, but i can't stand any of them hahaha. I used to like to cuddle with this chick (after fooling around or just for the hell of it), now i can't even stand touching some of these chicks when I'm "done". I wanna just kick them outta my room and be like "bitch shut the fuckin door behind you" (just kidding ladies, its just that i havent found any girls that i "like" yet in that way)

Only prob. is is that she was the 1st girl i cared about. Call me a sucker or a nice guy, but i genuinly still care about this girl, whether we date or not you know?

But for now, I guess i'm back to the old playa.....
"as soon as i bust a nut, i'm raisin' up off the cot.
Don't get upset girl, that's just how it goes, we don't love them ho's"........

**oaktownboy** · 10-12-2003, 08:54 PM

yes totally agree..forget about that bitch

**Mudge** · 10-12-2003, 09:21 PM

She is either a genuine bitch or having some mental/emotional issues. Either way if a person can't communicate that you dont have much of anything to work with.

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:25 PM

I know i know....

she WAS mad busy, working full time, summer class, internship, and shes maaaaad close with her best friends.....but i couldnt understand why she couldnt take 2 min before she went to bed to say goodnight you know?

I dont know what i'm gonna do......i dont "like" any new girls yet, for now i'm just getting my "freak" on with other chicks purely for the physical aspect ..............

"we don't love you ho's"..............

**Mudge** · 10-12-2003, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by Flex
but i couldnt understand why she couldnt take 2 min before she went to bed to say goodnight you know?

Yet that is what "every" woman claims they want, so something is up, what it is though I dont know, she may not even know. Did you ask her directly how she feels? Ask her what is going on inside her head that she acts like this?

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:30 PM

See that's the thing mudge, we went like 2mo. w/o talking (last time was like early august).

all of a sudden, she instant messages me "hey,i just wanted to say hi and see how youre doing etc."

i thought it was mad impersonal first of all, 2.5 yrs of going out and i get an i.m. (i guess thats what this world is coming to). but i don't even nkow what to say...i mean i don't know if i would even get back with her, but for now, i mean i def. do care about her well being and such, so i am being nice you know....

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 09:35 PM

Ever heard of,; I love you but I don't want you thing, she wants a hanger on'er, wait till you hook up with someone you really like and she finds out, she'll come crawling back, and all those old feelings will surface for you, you'll take her back, break up with your new girl, and guess what she'll dump you again, know why?, because you'll no longer be a challenge for her, hope you understand what I'm saying, I totally agree with gr81, as much as I hate to admit it, because I'm a woman, but he is right, good luck honey, go find yourself a real woman, one that doesn't need to play games to boost her ego............

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:39 PM

thanks katie,

hearing that from a woman is humbling. but she's really not like that, she's good at heart. I know i am half being a sucker and half know the truth, but she really is good.

It was just weird to me how she asked me if i wanted to go to cali with her, mabye get married someday, and she always asked me "how come you dont say i love you" (which i never did, not cuz i didnt love her, i just felt weird saying it, i only really love a few woman....mommy etc.), yet she wouldnt even call me back???

I dont understand girls, that's why i hook up and kick em out. (haha jk)

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:41 PM

....gotta show 'em some "love" so they keep coming back

MuWHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 09:42 PM

PS.............I don't think anyone ever really gets over their first love, which is what I think your expressing Flex, but you will, just start focusing on someone or something else until your feelings lessen, I don't mean use someone else, that would be cruel, but definitely distract your attention on to yourself and what is best for you for a while, good luck

**Mudge** · 10-12-2003, 09:42 PM

Originally posted by Flex
all of a sudden, she instant messages me "hey,i just wanted to say hi and see how youre doing etc."

Which sounds like maybe she does want you but just hasn't sorted something out inside herself yet, in other words she sounds somewhat lost so I'd ask her point blank what is going on.

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 09:48 PM

I agree with Mudge, you should tell her straight out how you feel and what you want to see happen with your relationship, and ask her what she feels, etc., if she wants to move on , let her, and you do the same, life is way too short............

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:50 PM

thanks guys,

I think that def has something to do with it Katie, i wish i wouldve had my "1st love" in h.s. and got it over with. Plus, i'm like her 4th serious boyfriend (she went out with like 4 guys for like a year or longer before me), so she knows what to do....i have no idea!!!

Thanks mudge, i appreicate your advice too bud, but i don't know if i want to actually know what shes feeling, i dont know if i want to get back or if i dont you know (now she's 40 min away, which is even farther than before, i'm at school and shes at another school doing her masters)

Don't worry katie, i at least let the girlies think i like them haha

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:51 PM

....see i dont know what i want......i think about her once in a while, yet i'm doing ok by myself.....right now im just being nice to her, cuz we have no hard feelings. Maybe its better if i dont find out what she wants....

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 09:53 PM

Originally posted by Flex

Don't worry katie, i at least let the girlies think i like them haha

Your Bad..............

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 09:54 PM

hahah i'm really not. i don't use the girlies, ok maybe a little. but i don't initiate it at least! these girls come up to me and are all over me, so i'm just like "uh ok"......

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 09:59 PM

Originally posted by Flex
hahah i'm really not. i don't use the girlies, ok maybe a little. but i don't initiate it at least! these girls come up to me and are all over me, so i'm just like "uh ok"......

HAHAHAHAHa.....................well as long as your having fun and are happy, just be careful, you don't need any of those nasty diseases, that tend to jump on sluts....j/k

, just joking honey

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 10:02 PM

oh well, i'm not sure what i'm gonna do.

i guess for now, i'll just be nice. i mean i truely do care about this girl, whether we're together or now. Hooking up with new girls all the time is has its benefits too, its different, exciting etc... instead of the same old routines.

But, it is 100% better to hook up with someone you care about, even if its not that often. I'm a cuddle slut, so we used to cuddle all the time and it was great (real tough guy huh). With the girls i hook up with now, i dont "care about" so i hate sleeping next to them. "bitch close the fuckin door behind you on your way out" (jk of course)

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 10:04 PM

no shit Katie, def dont need those! I've only hooked up with 2 chicks steadily since then. It's so easy, i cant refuse. I dont talk to them all night (for instance at the bar), then i see her 2 min before closing time and i say "hey whatcha doin later", then thats it, hahahah i could get into some funny details if you guys really want, but they're rated X

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 10:04 PM

At least you have a great sense of humor..........hahahaha..........

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 10:06 PM

ya thats one thing i got going for me....
and to incorporate a little bb into this, they love the "i'm 10 inches cold" line

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 10:07 PM

Hey Flex, how old are you?????? And this crowd needs more funny stories, haha, that's why we have a sexual forum

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 10:08 PM

22 sr in college, i'm in my sexual prime....watchout ladies!

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 10:09 PM

oh my god! there's a sexual forum! i have the all time funniest stories EVER from me and my boys teh last 4 years hahahahahahahaha

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 10:09 PM

Originally posted by Flex
ya thats one thing i got going for me....
and to incorporate a little bb into this, they love the "i'm 10 inches cold" line

LOL, I must be tired because I almost fell for that one...........

**Flex** · 10-12-2003, 10:10 PM

fall for what? i speak nothing but the truth!

me and my buddy (who's black) always joke "they couldn't handle all 20 combined inches of pure amtrack steel" (meaning we'd run train on some poor slut)hahahahahah

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 10:11 PM

Hey 39 year old women are the sexaully prime ones, take care honey, yeah go start some threads in the sex forum, it'll give me something funny to read tomorrow, or today rather, LOL, SYL

**katie64** · 10-12-2003, 10:12 PM

Originally posted by Flex
fall for what? i speak nothing but the truth!

me and my buddy (who's black) always joke "they couldn't handle all 20 combined inches of pure amtrack steel" (meaning we'd run train on some poor slut)hahahahahah

O.M.G....................

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