Need advice on woman....please help part II

Flex · 10-18-2003, 10:28 AM

Well, for all you that gave me advice on my girlie situation last time, i have an update (for all you who don't know, see Need advice on woman part I in open chat...its a few days old, but its still there).

obviously its not a big deal, but i want to give you guys play-by-play so you can interpret.

my ex called my cell last night at 2:30am. She im'd me about a week ago, and that was the 1st time she tried to "talk" to me in almost 2 months. that is why i started this thread, and i didnt know how to react.

this may not sound like a big deal, but this was the first time she called me since we broke up nearly 2 mo. ago. i had just gotten outta work at 2 (men's bball "midnight madness") and stopped at some afterparty. i was only there to stop by and say hi, and she called.

to not keep you in suspense any longer, i didn't pick up the phone. i figured if she had anything good, or at least important, she would call during the day or at least at a reasonable hour right? not at 2:30am trying when she's prob. drunk and has the "balls" to call and talk. i wanted to pick up the phone so bad, but i remembered some of your guys (and gals of course) advice haha

i'll keep you guys updated with any more late breaking news, i need your advice!

Randy · 10-18-2003, 02:40 PM

I think you need a womens advice on this one

In all my years, I still can't understand women.

Very complex species!

BUSTINOUT · 10-18-2003, 03:32 PM

Kudos to you man for just letting in ring. Since you are still "raw" from the whole thing, I know you probably wanted to pick that phone up. But if a call came in at 2:30 a.m. chances are she was just feeling lonely and "needed to hear your voice". That is all fine and dandy, but if she does not have to courtesy to stay in touch just to say "hi" during normal hours, she doesn't have much room just to expect you to be there when she needs you to lick her wounds and hear her woe is me stuff. I am not trying to dis on your ex or anything here man, but we have all either been on the giving or receiving end of this scene. For her to fall totally out of touch like that is like a kick in the teeth for you probably. To you it probably seems like the whole breakup was easier for her, and that is hard to accept. Obviously all I can give you is a guy's perspective here, but we(guys and girls) are somewhat selfish creatures. Nobody wants to feel like they are the only one struggling with the break up. For some reason we want reassurance that it has been hard for the other person too. Like it validates for us that they did care once. I know this is probably not making much sense, but rarely do relationships anyway.lol

Breakups happen to all of us and we all deal with them in many different ways. Your ex may just be dealing with them the only way she knows how and is really not trying to play with your head. Most guys do a good enough job of that on their own. But as a guy, most of us think in a totally different mode and just want some answers as to why she is doing what she is doing..."just talk to me". Nothing hurts more than to feel "needed" only when it's good for THEM...it's almost insulting. It's even more insulting when they are blind to that fact. Okay, enough rambling...Hang in the buddy.

J'Bo · 10-18-2003, 05:44 PM

I agree with BO completely.

Flex · 10-18-2003, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BUSTINOUT
Kudos to you man for just letting in ring. Since you are still "raw" from the whole thing, I know you probably wanted to pick that phone up. But if a call came in at 2:30 a.m. chances are she was just feeling lonely and "needed to hear your voice". That is all fine and dandy, but if she does not have to courtesy to stay in touch just to say "hi" during normal hours, she doesn't have much room just to expect you to be there when she needs you to lick her wounds and hear her woe is me stuff. I am not trying to dis on your ex or anything here man, but we have all either been on the giving or receiving end of this scene. For her to fall totally out of touch like that is like a kick in the teeth for you probably. To you it probably seems like the whole breakup was easier for her, and that is hard to accept. Obviously all I can give you is a guy's perspective here, but we(guys and girls) are somewhat selfish creatures. Nobody wants to feel like they are the only one struggling with the break up. For some reason we want reassurance that it has been hard for the other person too. Like it validates for us that they did care once. I know this is probably not making much sense, but rarely do relationships anyway.lol

Breakups happen to all of us and we all deal with them in many different ways. Your ex may just be dealing with them the only way she knows how and is really not trying to play with your head. Most guys do a good enough job of that on their own. But as a guy, most of us think in a totally different mode and just want some answers as to why she is doing what she is doing..."just talk to me". Nothing hurts more than to feel "needed" only when it's good for THEM...it's almost insulting. It's even more insulting when they are blind to that fact. Okay, enough rambling...Hang in the buddy.

WOW...do you have a dating column in a newspaper "Dear Bustinout"..haha

thats a great way to think of things.....thanks man

nikegurl · 10-18-2003, 06:58 PM

can't say it any better than BUSTINOUT did.

Flex, ya did good.

Flex · 10-18-2003, 07:09 PM

thanks nikegurl...i'll keep you guys posted in case anything else "exciting" happens haha

gr81 · 10-18-2003, 09:07 PM

thats my boy for not answering that phone

. that is like rule #6, never anwser your phone on the weekend. you don't want to seem like you are just available at that time. You want her to think that you are out having fun with another girl. thata kid.

BUSTINOUT · 10-19-2003, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Flex
WOW...do you have a dating column in a newspaper "Dear Bustinout"..haha

thats a great way to think of things.....thanks man

I'm the last guy to be writing that column buddy. I've just been there a time or two man.

Randy · 10-19-2003, 03:00 AM

Believe me "Bustinout" we all have man, we all have.

Flex · 10-21-2003, 10:01 PM

Update........I am almost going into relapse....AHHHHHHHHHHH!

She im'd me again. you guys who don't know the entire story probly think "wow, big fuckin deal" haha. the reason it kinda is is cuz this is the 3rd time in about 2 weeks that my ex has tried to get in touch with me.

I figure its for 1 of 3 reasons....
1) she is a nice girl and just genuinely wants to say hello
2) she is lonely and misses being with someone
3) she realizes she made a horrible mistake by "letting me go" and is trying to be nice and get me back.

during the 2.5yrs we were together, 99% of the time i treated her like a princess (the 1% is ugly, and a select few know what it is, but she got over it).

anyways, i am in danger of falling into relapse!!!!
i have the biggest urge to call her and just say hi....is that bad? is that "giving in"?

I personally don't know what she is thinking. I've climbed Mt. Everest, swam in shark infested waters, and beat the ebola virus, yet i still cannot figure out girls.

What do i do?????? (.....j'bo, babs please help!!!)

J'Bo · 10-21-2003, 10:04 PM

i say msn her and ask her to leave you the fuck alone...your not strong enough to deal with the situation yet...you will fall into a bad pattern because you havent learnt from your past mistakes and grown...btw she is lonley without a doubt and thats it...not to be rude but you are familar and thats all she wants is comfort not you.

babs and i can give you comfort hun

ditch the bitch

and find yourself.

**Dale Mabry** · 10-21-2003, 10:11 PM

If I were you, when she IM'ed me, I would write back:

This is not flex, this is his new girlfriend with big jugs. I am downloading some porn for him right now in between getting him a beer and doing laundry in my tank top with no bra or panties. If you want me to leave him a message I will.

That oughtta do the trick.

OK, seriously, are you going to get back with her or what, I know you've already made that decision up. If you are not going to get back with her, IM her and say hi, who cares. If you are thinking of getting back with her, unfortunately you are going to have to play the game and ignore her for a bit.

Flex · 10-21-2003, 10:12 PM

thanks jb, i knew i could count on your for some quick dating info haha

whats msn..email?

alls i would do is call and say hello....thats bad youre saying??

i don't think i could handle to bodacious babes at once (you and babs), so you'll have to take turns haha

Flex · 10-21-2003, 10:17 PM

i completely see what you're saying...only prob. is again she is the ONLY girl i have ever really cared about.

i invested so much time and effort into the relationship, and at the time it was great and all worth it...but now its for nothing?

it's like i don't know if i'd ever be willing to invest that much effort in another chick to think that one day it may end like this one did you know...

god she was so great, i dont know if i'll ever find another "pumpkin" haha (real tough guy huh)

Dero · 10-21-2003, 10:40 PM

That's what we all say...But you will find better!!!Believe you me.
Get over it and get back in the saddle!!!

Flex · 10-21-2003, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dale Mabry
If I were you, when she IM'ed me, I would write back:

This is not flex, this is his new girlfriend with big jugs. I am downloading some porn for him right now in between getting him a beer and doing laundry in my tank top with no bra or panties. If you want me to leave him a message I will.

That oughtta do the trick.

OK, seriously, are you going to get back with her or what, I know you've already made that decision up. If you are not going to get back with her, IM her and say hi, who cares. If you are thinking of getting back with her, unfortunately you are going to have to play the game and ignore her for a bit.

it may seem like D.M., but to tell you the truth i havent made up my mind. i mean its nice being single (get to hook up with whoever i want, then kick 'em outta my room and never talk to them again), but then again its just as nice to be with someone you care about. plus she knows the real me more than anyone (including my best friends, family etc....), so its like i don't know what to do.

I may just call her and say hello, then see how it goes from there, but i dont know what to do, my testosterone makes all my decisions for me.

Flex · 10-21-2003, 11:01 PM

Flex · 10-21-2003, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dero
That's what we all say...But you will find better!!!Believe you me.
Get over it and get back in the saddle!!!

like i said before, it sucks that she was my first "true" love and it had to happen in college. i think if i would've gotten it over with in h.s., then this would be like second nature. it was cool cuz she was my first love though, that way i felt like i could give her all my heart you know (real tough guy haha)
its just tough to think i have to invest so much in another girl, if i ever care enough to you know?

don't worry Dero, i'm already back in the saddle, that's not a problem. its just i don't care for these girls..."cuz we don't love them ho's"

Dero · 10-21-2003, 11:11 PM

Man!!!

"STOP THINKING WITH YUR DICK!!!!"

That is exactly what she wants you to think...
Been there,done dat, got the t-shirt and left it there!!!

Flex · 10-21-2003, 11:14 PM

I'm not in this case man!!!!

That is why i am considering calling her. if i was thinking with "old faithful", i wouldn't call her cuz i enjoy being a player too much.

What u mean that's what she wants me to think

Dero · 10-21-2003, 11:25 PM

As long as you think this way

"is again she is the ONLY girl i have ever really cared about. "

She's got you by da cajoonees...

Randy · 10-21-2003, 11:27 PM

Flex,

If your relying on a body building forum to resolve your problems in your love life, your relationship is already in trouble.

You have to make your own decision here. If you care about the girl, give her a call and be done with it. I haven't read all the details, but depending on the circumstances everyone deserves a 2nd chance. Again, if you care give her a call. I can tell by your messages that you want to call her. Now what the guys say about not rushing to call her is definately true, but your beyond that stage.

So at this point you have to either decide to call her and make amends, or call her and tell her that your moving forward.

Flex · 10-21-2003, 11:30 PM

haha but she doesnt man!

thats what you don't get.......she's tried to talk to me for the first time in 2mo.! i wouldn't consider not talking to someone for 2mo. having them by the cojones (haha good word).

ya, she was my first "truelove", which again sucks cuz i wish i wouldve gotten it outta the way in h.s.

i just don't know whehter to call and say hello, or not you know...i mean i do care about her regardless of whether we're together or not, so i want to say hi, but on the other hand i don't want to be a sucker you know?

10-18-2003, 10:28 AM	#1
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	Need advice on woman....please help part II BODYBUILDING SUPPLEMENTS High Quality Supplements For Bodybuilders and Athletes. www.ironmaglabs.com Well, for all you that gave me advice on my girlie situation last time, i have an update (for all you who don't know, see Need advice on woman part I in open chat...its a few days old, but its still there). obviously its not a big deal, but i want to give you guys play-by-play so you can interpret. my ex called my cell last night at 2:30am. She im'd me about a week ago, and that was the 1st time she tried to "talk" to me in almost 2 months. that is why i started this thread, and i didnt know how to react. this may not sound like a big deal, but this was the first time she called me since we broke up nearly 2 mo. ago. i had just gotten outta work at 2 (men's bball "midnight madness") and stopped at some afterparty. i was only there to stop by and say hi, and she called. to not keep you in suspense any longer, i didn't pick up the phone. i figured if she had anything good, or at least important, she would call during the day or at least at a reasonable hour right? not at 2:30am trying when she's prob. drunk and has the "balls" to call and talk. i wanted to pick up the phone so bad, but i remembered some of your guys (and gals of course) advice haha i'll keep you guys updated with any more late breaking news, i need your advice!
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-18-2003, 02:40 PM	#2
Randy Woof! Woof! Woof! Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: California Posts: 7,859 Photos: 4	I think you need a womens advice on this one In all my years, I still can't understand women. Very complex species!
	- O F F I C I A L . L I N K . M A S T E R - Maintains a Reference to all Gopros P/RR/S Links Gopros latest routines: CLICK HERE Lift like a Chicken Look Like a Chicken

10-18-2003, 05:44 PM	#4
J'Bo Cuddle Slut Join Date: May 2002 Location: Back in Canada Posts: 9,753 Photos: 6	I agree with BO completely.
	....and thats my $.02

10-18-2003, 07:09 PM	#7
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	thanks nikegurl...i'll keep you guys posted in case anything else "exciting" happens haha
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-18-2003, 09:07 PM	#8
gr81 You Lack Intensity!!!! Elite Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Just below our civil disguise Posts: 6,379 Photos: 10	thats my boy for not answering that phone . that is like rule #6, never anwser your phone on the weekend. you don't want to seem like you are just available at that time. You want her to think that you are out having fun with another girl. thata kid.
	Testosterone Site/Elite Fitness-Dave Tate/West Side Barbell/Berardi Nutrition & Sports Performance/Steroid Laws- Rick Collins/John Defendis Intensity or Insanity articles/Save the Supersonics

10-18-2003, 03:32 PM	#3
BUSTINOUT Registered User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 2,408	Kudos to you man for just letting in ring. Since you are still "raw" from the whole thing, I know you probably wanted to pick that phone up. But if a call came in at 2:30 a.m. chances are she was just feeling lonely and "needed to hear your voice". That is all fine and dandy, but if she does not have to courtesy to stay in touch just to say "hi" during normal hours, she doesn't have much room just to expect you to be there when she needs you to lick her wounds and hear her woe is me stuff. I am not trying to dis on your ex or anything here man, but we have all either been on the giving or receiving end of this scene. For her to fall totally out of touch like that is like a kick in the teeth for you probably. To you it probably seems like the whole breakup was easier for her, and that is hard to accept. Obviously all I can give you is a guy's perspective here, but we(guys and girls) are somewhat selfish creatures. Nobody wants to feel like they are the only one struggling with the break up. For some reason we want reassurance that it has been hard for the other person too. Like it validates for us that they did care once. I know this is probably not making much sense, but rarely do relationships anyway.lol Breakups happen to all of us and we all deal with them in many different ways. Your ex may just be dealing with them the only way she knows how and is really not trying to play with your head. Most guys do a good enough job of that on their own. But as a guy, most of us think in a totally different mode and just want some answers as to why she is doing what she is doing..."just talk to me". Nothing hurts more than to feel "needed" only when it's good for THEM...it's almost insulting. It's even more insulting when they are blind to that fact. Okay, enough rambling...Hang in the buddy.

10-18-2003, 06:58 PM	#6
nikegurl Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: LA, CA Posts: 5,634	can't say it any better than BUSTINOUT did. Flex, ya did good.
	Tomorrow may be the best day of your life. Or not.

10-19-2003, 03:00 AM	#10
Randy Woof! Woof! Woof! Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: California Posts: 7,859 Photos: 4	Believe me "Bustinout" we all have man, we all have.
	- O F F I C I A L . L I N K . M A S T E R - Maintains a Reference to all Gopros P/RR/S Links Gopros latest routines: CLICK HERE Lift like a Chicken Look Like a Chicken

10-21-2003, 10:01 PM	#11
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	Update........I am almost going into relapse....AHHHHHHHHHHH! She im'd me again. you guys who don't know the entire story probly think "wow, big fuckin deal" haha. the reason it kinda is is cuz this is the 3rd time in about 2 weeks that my ex has tried to get in touch with me. I figure its for 1 of 3 reasons.... 1) she is a nice girl and just genuinely wants to say hello 2) she is lonely and misses being with someone 3) she realizes she made a horrible mistake by "letting me go" and is trying to be nice and get me back. during the 2.5yrs we were together, 99% of the time i treated her like a princess (the 1% is ugly, and a select few know what it is, but she got over it). anyways, i am in danger of falling into relapse!!!! i have the biggest urge to call her and just say hi....is that bad? is that "giving in"? I personally don't know what she is thinking. I've climbed Mt. Everest, swam in shark infested waters, and beat the ebola virus, yet i still cannot figure out girls. What do i do?????? (.....j'bo, babs please help!!!)
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-21-2003, 10:04 PM	#12
J'Bo Cuddle Slut Join Date: May 2002 Location: Back in Canada Posts: 9,753 Photos: 6	i say msn her and ask her to leave you the fuck alone...your not strong enough to deal with the situation yet...you will fall into a bad pattern because you havent learnt from your past mistakes and grown...btw she is lonley without a doubt and thats it...not to be rude but you are familar and thats all she wants is comfort not you. babs and i can give you comfort hun ditch the bitch and find yourself.
	....and thats my $.02

10-21-2003, 10:11 PM	#13
Dale Mabry Moderator Moderator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Elsewhere Posts: 13,734 Photos: 10	If I were you, when she IM'ed me, I would write back: This is not flex, this is his new girlfriend with big jugs. I am downloading some porn for him right now in between getting him a beer and doing laundry in my tank top with no bra or panties. If you want me to leave him a message I will. That oughtta do the trick. OK, seriously, are you going to get back with her or what, I know you've already made that decision up. If you are not going to get back with her, IM her and say hi, who cares. If you are thinking of getting back with her, unfortunately you are going to have to play the game and ignore her for a bit.
	If sense were common, everyone would have it. 4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

10-21-2003, 10:12 PM	#14
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	thanks jb, i knew i could count on your for some quick dating info haha whats msn..email? alls i would do is call and say hello....thats bad youre saying?? i don't think i could handle to bodacious babes at once (you and babs), so you'll have to take turns haha
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-21-2003, 10:17 PM	#15
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	i completely see what you're saying...only prob. is again she is the ONLY girl i have ever really cared about. i invested so much time and effort into the relationship, and at the time it was great and all worth it...but now its for nothing? it's like i don't know if i'd ever be willing to invest that much effort in another chick to think that one day it may end like this one did you know... god she was so great, i dont know if i'll ever find another "pumpkin" haha (real tough guy huh)
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-21-2003, 10:40 PM	#16
Dero Registered User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,779 Photos: 6	That's what we all say...But you will find better!!!Believe you me. Get over it and get back in the saddle!!!
	Senior citizen at work, don't bugg me.

10-21-2003, 11:01 PM	#18
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	.
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-21-2003, 11:11 PM	#20
Dero Registered User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,779 Photos: 6	Man!!! "STOP THINKING WITH YUR DICK!!!!" That is exactly what she wants you to think... Been there,done dat, got the t-shirt and left it there!!!
	Senior citizen at work, don't bugg me.

10-21-2003, 11:14 PM	#21
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	I'm not in this case man!!!! That is why i am considering calling her. if i was thinking with "old faithful", i wouldn't call her cuz i enjoy being a player too much. What u mean that's what she wants me to think
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*

10-21-2003, 11:25 PM	#22
Dero Registered User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,779 Photos: 6	As long as you think this way "is again she is the ONLY girl i have ever really cared about. " She's got you by da cajoonees...
	Senior citizen at work, don't bugg me.

10-21-2003, 11:27 PM	#23
Randy Woof! Woof! Woof! Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: California Posts: 7,859 Photos: 4	Flex, If your relying on a body building forum to resolve your problems in your love life, your relationship is already in trouble. You have to make your own decision here. If you care about the girl, give her a call and be done with it. I haven't read all the details, but depending on the circumstances everyone deserves a 2nd chance. Again, if you care give her a call. I can tell by your messages that you want to call her. Now what the guys say about not rushing to call her is definately true, but your beyond that stage. So at this point you have to either decide to call her and make amends, or call her and tell her that your moving forward.
	- O F F I C I A L . L I N K . M A S T E R - Maintains a Reference to all Gopros P/RR/S Links Gopros latest routines: CLICK HERE Lift like a Chicken Look Like a Chicken

10-21-2003, 11:30 PM	#24
Flex FLEXecutioner Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pomping Iyuhn Posts: 6,278 Photos: 2	haha but she doesnt man! thats what you don't get.......she's tried to talk to me for the first time in 2mo.! i wouldn't consider not talking to someone for 2mo. having them by the cojones (haha good word). ya, she was my first "truelove", which again sucks cuz i wish i wouldve gotten it outta the way in h.s. i just don't know whehter to call and say hello, or not you know...i mean i do care about her regardless of whether we're together or not, so i want to say hi, but on the other hand i don't want to be a sucker you know?
	You're a funny guy, Sully, I like you. Dat's why I'm going to kill you lahst. * Got juice?Need Motivation?How to Train* Arnold vs. Ronnie vs. Haney vs. Sergio YEAH BUDDY...LIGHT WEIGHT!Ahhnold*
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