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#1 |
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Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 14
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My Brawl with Tito
It all started only a couple months after UFC 40, when Tito was even more arrogant than usual since he had just beaten Glamrock down. Tiki, Ricco, Tito and me were all chillin at my crib and lighting up some fatties HB style. Tiki got on my computer and started screwing around, then he got on aim and pretended to be me, telling one of my internet women to come on over.
She showed up a few minutes later and the hooting and hollering began. I didn't really mind, up until Tito crossed the line. He called her a typical internet whore, which I didn't appreciate at all. "Listen Tito, its bad enough for you to say that about my woman, but you said it right in front of her face. I demand an apology right now, or else you'll have to face the consequences of insulting my woman. A man’s house is my castle, and she is my queen. And besides, she does what she does on the internet for artistic reasons, not for money, unlike that tacky mexican gold digger you married." Tito got that cocky little smirk on his face and just started laughing. "Listen shiloh, I know you don't want to look like a pansy in front of your woman, but I am the baddest man in the world. Unless you want to be humiliated in front of your woman, I suggest you back things up before I have to do the gravedigger on your ass!" Ricco and Tiki were just sitting there shocked, not saying a word. I calmly rose from my seat, took my shirt off, began flexing, and stared him down before I responded. Without taking my eyes off of him, I said "Well Tito, you may be the best 205 pound fighter in the world, but guess what? I am a roid raging 230 pounds of pure alpha male testosterone who is from the meanest streets of Huntington Beach. And besides, fighting in the cage is a lot different from fighting in the streets, we can just ask Lee Murray about that." Tito saw my flaring, huge 18 inch guns and the determined look in my face and took a step back, shocked because I had not backed down as he had expected and a little intimidated by my sheer physical dominance. But after hearing Lee Murray mentioned, his face turned red with anger. “Last chance to apologize to my woman, before you find out what its like to fight someone your own size for once. You sure look tough cutting a lot of weight and beating up on a smaller opponents, so how about taking on someone your own size for a change?” This sent Tito over the edge, and he lowered his head and started swinging at me with girly punches. I blocked his punches with my face, because I know he punches like a girl and it would only make me madder. After he landed a couple shots, I was in full blown roid rage mode. He tried to clinch with me for a takedown, but I can benchpress over 500 pounds so pushing him off of me was pretty easy. After I shoved him off of me, I landed a huge straight right hand that knocked him down to the ground. I followed him to the ground and started pounding him, and he tried to put me in an armbar. He had it on straight, but steroids triumphed over technique once again as I powered my way out of it and slammed him to the floor on his head, almost knocking him out. I then picked him up and pulled off a pro wrestling style DDT on him, knocking him out cold. I looked around and everyone was sitting there with their mouths wide open, too shocked to do or say anything. Everyone was also staring at my sculpted and ripped physique, whether it was my woman looking at it in lust, or ricco and tiki looking at me in envy. “I guess we all know who the real Huntington Beach Badboy is now, don’t we?” I said. Ricco and Tiki nodded their heads in approval, not wanting to get on my badside. As Tito started to wake up, I told him our feud was over and offered to help him stand back up. Like an idiot, he extended his arm to me to help him up, but I gave him a swift kick in the face and yelled out "This ain't the UFC, biotch" while knocking him out again. I ordered Ricco and Tiki to take this disrespectful piece of trash out of my house before I did anything serious to him. They hurriedly took tito away, afraid for what I might do to their team leader, but also to them if they crossed my bad side. My woman told me that I was more of a real man than any of these so-called ultimate fighters, and I agreed. A couple days later, some lawyer goons from Zuffa tipped off the HB police to my arrest warrants for DUIs, and also threatened me. They told me that if I ever told this story on the internet, they’d have my website shut down and me thrown in jail for several years. I talked to a lawyer and he said zuffa could probably do it given my checkered past growing up in the streets, and my long line of arrests for assault. So basically we reached an understanding with zuffa: I won’t beat up their champ anymore, and they won’t have me thrown in jail. In fact, dana white even offered me a fight contract with the UFC, but I told him that UFC stuff is too sissy for me, and my fighting takes place in the street, where anything goes. Being a real man and not being afraid to handle things physically has its downside, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. |
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#2 |
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IronMagLabs Owner
Administrator
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ummm...okay.
let's see your pics! ![]() BOARD SPONSORS: ![]()
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#3 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Not bad as far as fiction goes
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#5 | |
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P/RR/S Advisor
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Quote:
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#6 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Who wants to place bets that he's 130lbs soaking wet?
I dont think a real man would have to go to an online board to get his pats on the back.Henceforth, there will be no back pats in this thread ![]() |
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#7 | |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Erm, I think ya got it backwards bro
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#8 |
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Mad As Toast
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Left my heart in Texas, in Florida now
Posts: 2,817
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He kinda reminds me of a guy on another board I used to belong to that would make Arnold Swarzenegger bodybuilding tips posts as a joke. Oh and yes that is backwards. Non-fiction is true and fiction fake.
The statue of Liberty no longer reads "Bring us your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses..."
Now she's holding a baseball bat and it reads "Bring It On." |
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#10 | |
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P/RR/S Advisor
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Quote:
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#11 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Oh, hey bud, thanks! Heres a pat on the back for you too... for getting serious about it again and working on turning back into a big mofo!
Now that deserves a pat on the back! |
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#12 |
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P/RR/S Advisor
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I have being serious but your forcing me here Eggs....... Thank you very much for those kind words. I have been really working hard and loving every moment of it. I had a really good leg day today and got up to 275 on squats already. Keep in mind I was stuggling with 225 for 6 reps only a few weeks ago. Leg presses were 450 on the old fashioned vertical leg press so that was True weight plus if you count the friction of metal agains metal on each damn rep it would count as more. lol I finished quads off with 3 sets of extensions with 165 for 10's so in all, poundages went up in everything. Excellent day.
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#14 |
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 37
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I call bullshit.
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#15 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Glad to hear its coming along well for you Fire
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#17 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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The funniest part is the beginning...
or... I dont know, the whole thing is just really funny. One thing is obvious, RR needs to chill on all those fatties for a bit. |
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#18 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,644
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say eggs! How's things?
Yo, FS! Keep up the progress! Long road back..but the ride is nice.. ![]()
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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#19 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Yo Burner! Hows life treating you?
Yeah, the end isnt the only reason for our journey, the road is great too |
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#20 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,644
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life is sucking wind right now...still having probs with taht loan..I really should not have bought that piece-o-shiat truck..more hassle that worth..
oh well..things will work out. Other than that. Am fine. How's classes?
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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#21 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Same old, got exams and papers due this week... mid-terms.
Looking forward to 25 days from now mostly. |
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#22 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,644
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I would be too...I HATE term papers!
I have no problems ad-libbing a free for all paper..but to go do all the research, organize, put to paper, make references...over and over...oof. thanx..I'll pass.. ![]()
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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#23 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Ah well, one gets used to it. But it does make me look forward to working for a living again
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#24 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,644
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two ex's of mine..were getting their Master's. They had to do a paper each week..that's what they said..you just get used to it.
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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#25 |
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Senior Member
Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,008
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Oh yeah, I dont really mind doing papers. Actually enjoy them a bit if the class is stimulating.
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#26 | |
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UNLEASH THE BEAST
Elite Member
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Quote:
What are you taking classes for?
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain...
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#27 |
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The Original Jackass
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My fight with Oprah..
written and edited by I.T. So there I was one day cruizin' in my shaggin wagon going to pick up some chicks, you know what I'm sayin'? And then I see this hottie so I was all like ' Yo bitch, suck me off!' Alright? You dig? Then along comes this Oprah bitch calling me a sexist and talking shit, gettin' all up in my face and stuff. So I told that ho to step down before I bitch slap her fat ass, right? So like, there we were all up in the street and the peeps are starting to crowd around, y'all. So it's time to step up, it's time to be a man. I was all like " You can't be disrepecting me in front of all these people bitch, I'm gonna teach you some respect!" So I hit that fat ugly bitch right in the chops, can you dig? And she tries to eat my arm!! So like, now I'm mad, you know what I'm saying, I like, kick her in her fat gut, and start slamming her head and the ground. She was all, like, bleeding pus and crisco oil all over the road, so I say, 'Ya'. Now we all know who the real bad boy of Uptown L.A. is. ![]()
If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself.
- Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870) |
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#28 |
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Super Hero in Training
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Kabul, Afghanistan
Posts: 29,644
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good to see that college edumacation is going to good use, IT! ![]()
Success leaves clues. People who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results
Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem THERE IS NO TOMORROW! - Appollo Creed |
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#29 |
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The Original Jackass
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Oh hell ya, right now I'm 'working' on a ten page paper that's due next week. ![]()
If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself.
- Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870) |
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#30 |
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IronMagLabs Owner
Administrator
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yeah, I beat the living shit out of Mike Tyson a couple of years ago...
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