Ultimate fight guys

**Jonwell** · 11-04-2003, 11:40 AM

It seems that every one of these cagefighting no-rules guys are always walking around trying to act tough. My physique and street rep always draw attention to me, so there always seems to be some karate guy trying to prove himself.

Quite a few years ago, I was lifting in my gym, and was told about some South Americans giving jujitzu(sp?) lessons in the aerobic room. I go to check it out. The people giving it were all brothers by the last name of Gracey along with their dad. I didn't have a shirt on and I could tell the Gracey's were sizing me up. I knew when they said they were going to demonstrate their techniques on someone they would pick me. My chiseled rock hard body always seemed to make kung fu masters try out their punches on me for some reason.

Anyways, the main guy(Horse or Hoyse or something like that) wanted me to try to prevent him from tackling me and taking me down. I was like "Hey man, you can't weigh more than 170 pounds, you are going to get yourself hurt with those spaghetti arms." I was just kidding around with them, but they all wanted to try and act macho. I am standing there and he does some kick to me knee and then charges in trying to tackle me. I underhook his arms and kind of shoot my legs back to block him. I finally push him away and he gets angry. I hear the old man start yelling in some language that I don't understand and it starts to make me kind of angry(I rage easy) because I can't understand. The Horse guy is like "One more time. This time for real."

I am definitly pissed now so I invite him to try. I planned on showing him what for real was. He did the kick into the dive tackle again, but this time I grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up and powerbombed him hard on the mat. I heard a moan from him as his eyes rolled back. He was out cold. I stand over him flexing(I was raging so flexing just comes natural to me) and all of a sudden I feel someone grab around my neck. It's the guy's old ass father! I was raging, but I have my limits, so I merely grabbed his head and snapmared him over my shoulder, cracking him down on his ass. I guess I did it a little to hard as fell over moaning. The other brother(Henso? I think was how he had introduced himself) punched me from the side, but he punched like a girl, and I just grabbed his arm and kicked him in the stomach and then headbutted him. He went down laying on his stomach and I reached and grabbed his ankles and began spinning around. I timed the release just right and he went flying into the wall where crumpled to the floor.

The people around looked in awe. I grabbed Horses karate top and wiped my mouth. I told the people, " Look. Martial arts are good for little weaklings and there are some benefits to them, but there is not a karate invented that can overcome strength, streetfighting knowledge, and rage. Get big, strong, and learn how to do some moves. You won't ever have to pay a dime to some sensei to teach you something." With that I left the gym. That night I picked up a Colombian hottie that I stuck it to all night in celebration of my punking out those guys. I have heard those Gracey guys have gone on to have some success in the fighting world, and they can keep having it, just as long as they don't cross paths with me again. lol

**I Are Baboon** · 11-04-2003, 11:43 AM

I like meatballs.

**Prince** · 11-04-2003, 11:50 AM

Jonwell you should really look into writing fiction books professionally, you seem to have quite the imagination.

**ponyboy** · 11-04-2003, 11:53 AM

Okay...that one was actually kind of funny.

**JJJ** · 11-04-2003, 12:03 PM

**kuso** · 11-04-2003, 02:07 PM

another fuck head....

**racoon02** · 11-04-2003, 03:14 PM

**Triple Threat** · 11-04-2003, 03:16 PM

Keep 'em coming, Jonwell. I'm actually starting to like these stories. I agree with ponyboy, that one has some good chuckles.

**naturaltan** · 11-04-2003, 03:18 PM

Originally posted by CaptainDeadlift
Keep 'em coming, Jonwell. I'm actually starting to like these stories. I agree with ponyboy, that one has some good chuckles.

they'd be good if the instigator kept his shirt on sometimes and didn't resort to wrestling moves all the time. :lmao:

**Machine May** · 11-04-2003, 05:35 PM

Jonwell is well-known on my site (www.mma.tv). I don't know quite what to say about this post.

**Machine May** · 11-04-2003, 05:40 PM

By the way, I'll hit my site up and see if I can get a pic of him.

**CRASHMAN** · 11-04-2003, 06:45 PM

go fight randy couture with your "strength and street fighting" i fuckin garentee the 40 year old man would make you his bitch.

**CRASHMAN** · 11-04-2003, 06:52 PM

Originally posted by Machine May
Jonwell is well-known on my site (www.mma.tv). I don't know quite what to say about this post.

Hey i'm a member there i just don't post

so many places so little time

**Machine May** · 11-04-2003, 06:53 PM

The funniest thing about Jonwell is that he is a moderator of the Strength & Conditioning forum at my site. LOL.

**Machine May** · 11-04-2003, 06:55 PM

Oh, hell, Crashman. I just saw that you're a member at mma.tv. What name do you post under? Do you know me from there?

**Eggs** · 11-04-2003, 06:55 PM

Either he isnt the real Jonwell, or you're being had by a kid MM

**Eggs** · 11-04-2003, 06:56 PM

Or of course he has a voracious drinking habit.

**Var** · 11-04-2003, 06:57 PM

Originally posted by Machine May
Jonwell is well-known on my site (www.mma.tv). I don't know quite what to say about this post.

Checked out the site. Very cool! Found a post from Jonwell and it HAS to be a different guy than the tool on this site.

**CRASHMAN** · 11-04-2003, 07:21 PM

Originally posted by Machine May
Oh, hell, Crashman. I just saw that you're a member at mma.tv. What name do you post under? Do you know me from there?

I just go under Crashman like everysight

i usally just go there to check out what grappling tournments i wanna enter.. and win

**Jonwell** · 11-04-2003, 09:39 PM

Listen up dummies....I am not Rubber Raw. He is hardcore, I am hardcore and we have a mutual respect for each other.

Hey Nick May. What's up? Yes, I am a mod on the strength and condition forum at you site. You know me, and you know I am a fucking hardcore take no shit mother fucker.

I don't know who that Randy is, but any 40 year old would be better off sitting on the couch than trying to step up with me. I promise I won't discriminate though, if he ever starts shit when I am bouncing I will introduce him to my biceps. llollol

**coleman** · 11-04-2003, 11:23 PM

you're my hero jonwell, i want to hear more man!

**kuso** · 11-04-2003, 11:58 PM

Originally posted by Machine May
The funniest thing about Jonwell is that he is a moderator of the Strength & Conditioning forum at my site. LOL.

Perhaps its time to re-think how you chose mods

**CRASHMAN** · 11-05-2003, 01:53 AM

Originally posted by Jonwell

I don't know who that Randy is, but any 40 year old would be better off sitting on the couch than trying to step up with me. I promise I won't discriminate though, if he ever starts shit when I am bouncing I will introduce him to my biceps. llollol

Dude your funnier than Christopher reed trying to do the hokey pokey.

and dumber than a rock.

**Rob_NC** · 11-05-2003, 08:21 AM

If you think martial arts are for wussies, then why do you have www.mma.tv as your website in your profile?

**Machine May** · 11-05-2003, 09:13 AM

Here is the story on Jonwell, guys: He really is something of a beast. I have met him on several occassions and he seems to be what he claims. His contributions to the Strength and Conditioning forum are undeniable and many members swear by his training tips.

The reason he toes the line on my site is that, simply put, my site moderates (some would say censors, lol) to an extreme. At any given time, my site is being patrolled by scores of the 230 people that my partner Kirik Jenness and I have made mods. The rules are simple at my site. Either you respect everyone and play ball or you get your post deleted. End of story. We deal with punks every day by banning them.

**Eggs** · 11-05-2003, 09:25 AM

Hrmm, Jonwell... you posting under MM too?

Beasts dont talk smack like that MM, its just the way things work. Little Napoleans do.

And please, the guy had exactly the same writing style as RR, who said that he beat Tito's ass... now how likely is it that this dude Jonwell, who works your site as a Mod and has to go to other sites to talk smack, has actually laid Tito out? All the while explaining how he did it in WWF terminology. The only thing he hasnt used so far is the "Peoples Elbow"

The dude on your site might be a beast, but if so there is no way that this piece piece of human waste that talks to women, etc like he does is that guy. The Jonwell thats been posting here is a useless bag of flesh, I'm hoping to cart him off to TGS for a big feast.

**Machine May** · 11-05-2003, 11:23 AM

"Beasts dont talk smack like that MM, its just the way things work. Little Napoleans do."

LOL!

**Jonwell** · 11-05-2003, 12:00 PM

I don't care about martial arts. I mod the strength and conditioning forum. That is it. I don't care about karate and all that shit, and I never look at those posts concerning it. The otherground and strength and conditioning are the only forums that I read there.

Thanks for the kind words, Nick. It's good we ogers can stick together. There is nothing on this site but a bunch of little kids. If they dared most in my forum, I would ban them all so quick.

Yes, I am a beast in the gym and the bedroom. lllollol

**kuso** · 11-05-2003, 02:19 PM

Originally posted by Machine May
The rules are simple at my site. Either you respect everyone and play ball or you get your post deleted. End of story. We deal with punks every day by banning them.

So you don`t allow dickhead posters, but you do allow dickhead mods?

You are not doing much to plug your site here.........

**CRASHMAN** · 11-05-2003, 03:01 PM

body of a beast and brain of one too.

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