Thread: Life Explained

On the first day God created the cow.
God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer
all day long and suffer under
the sun, have calves and give milk to support the
farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."



The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want
me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and
I'll give back the other forty."



And God agreed.
On the second day God created the dog.



God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and
bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
I will give you a life span of twenty years."



The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give
me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).



On the third day God created the monkey.



God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make
them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."



The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for
twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you
back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"



And God agreed again.



On the fourth day God created man.



God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do
nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."



Man said, "What? Only twenty years" No way man.
Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty
the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and
the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"



"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."



So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep,
play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next
forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks
to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten
years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.



Life has now been explained

And on the 6th day, while God slept, the Marines overran his perimeter and stole the globe.