Thread: Rules For Dogs!!!!!

Rules for Dogs

1. THE GARBAGE COLLECTOR IS NOT STEALING OUR STUFF EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO RIP THE BAG TO SHREDS TO SEE WHAT WAS IN IT.

2. I DO NOT NEED TO SUDDENLY STAND STRAIGHT UP WHEN
I'M LYING UNDER THE COFFEE TABLE.

3. I WILL NOT ROLL MY TOYS BEHIND THE FRIDGE.

4. I MUST SHAKE THE RAINWATER OUT OF MY FUR BEFORE I
ENTER THE HOUSE.

5. I WILL NOT EAT THE CAT'S FOOD, BEFORE OR AFTER THEY
EAT IT.

6. I WILL STOP TRYING TO FIND THE FEW REMAINING PIECES
OF CLEAN CARPET IN THE HOUSE WHEN I AM ABOUT TO THROW UP OR HAVE AN ACCIDENT.

7. I WILL NOT THROW UP IN THE CAR.

8. I WILL NOT ROLL ON DEAD SEAGULLS, FISH, CRABS, ETC.

9. I WILL NOT LICK MY HUMAN'S FACE AFTER EATING ANIMAL
DUNG.

10. *KITTY BOX CRUNCHIES* ARE NOT FOOD!

11. I WILL NOT EAT ANY MORE SOCKS AND THEN REDEPOSIT
THEM IN THE BACKYARD OR HOUSE DEPENDING ON WHICH
END PROCESSES IT FIRST.

12. THE DIAPER PAIL IS NOT A COOKIE JAR.

13. I WILL NOT PLAY TUG-OF-WAR WITH DAD'S UNDERWEAR WHEN HE'S ON THE TOILET.

14. I WILL NOT CHEW MY HUMAN'S TOOTHBRUSH AND NOT TELL HIM.

15. I WILL NOT CHEW CRAYONS OR PENS, ESPECIALLY NOT THE RED ONES, OR MY PEOPLE WILL THINK I AM HEMORRHAGING.

16. I WILL NOT TAKE WHATEVER I PLEASE AND HIDE IT UNDER
THE BED SO MY PEOPLE CAN HAVE A SCAVENGER HUNT LOOKING FOR IT.

17. WHEN IN THE CAR, I WILL NOT INSIST ON HAVING THE
WINDOW ROLLED DOWN WHEN IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE.

18. WE DO NOT HAVE A DOORBELL. I WILL NOT BARK EACH
TIME I HEAR ONE ON TV.

19. I WILL NOT STEAL MY MOM'S UNDERWEAR AND DANCE ALL OVER THE BACKYARD WITH IT.

20. THE SOFA IS NOT A FACE TOWEL. NEITHER ARE MOM AND
DAD'S LAPS.

21. MY HEAD DOES NOT BELONG IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

22. I WILL NOT BITE THE OFFICER'S HAND WHEN HE REACHES IN FOR MOM'S DRIVER'S LICENSE AND CAR REGISTRATION.

23. I WILL NOT STAND AROUND MOM WHEN SHE IS COOKING OR WHEN SHE IS CARRYING HER COFFEE, SO SHE WON'T TRIP
OVER ME.

24. I WILL NOT BEG FOR FOOD AT THE SUPPER TABLE, AND
ESPECIALLY NOT EAT SOMEONE'S FOOD IF THEY LEAVE IT
FOR JUST A MOMENT.

25. I WILL NOT TEAR UP THE PATIO FURNITURE, OR PUT HOLES
IN THE SCREEN SO I MAY JUMP IN AND LOUNGE, JUST
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO STAY OUTSIDE FOR MORE THAN
TWO MINUTES.

26. I WILL NOT CHASE THE CAT AND KNOCK OVER BREAKABLE
THINGS IN THE PROCESS.

27. I WILL ALLOW MOM AND DAD SOME ROOM AND COVERS WHEN WE GO TO BED.

Good one Babs......