Thread: What would you do....

I think you should say something, but still let him in the house! JMO! I have major problems with my older brother also, spent several years never talking.

I'll edit that in for another option... thanks bud

Hmmm i cant...

No problem! Sorry you got problems!

I would need to be more informed as to the situation to make the proper decision. My gut says to still invite him, makes you look good if he doesn't show up.

I don't know your situation, but I do know you can't change other people! You have to be able to accept your brother as is, including crappy behavior or not! It's all within you. Know that sounds like crap and I still struggle with it, but that's the way it is IMO!

I'd suggest calmly letting him know well before the date that he is not welcome, then if he shows up anyway you can shut the door in his face. If he knows he isn't welcome he probably wouldn't have enough balls to show up.

I had to do that one Christmas to my (formerly) alcoholic and drug addicted mother. It was not fun.

I changed my mind. I say invite him, but also invite all of his ex-girlfriends over and any other women he has screwed over before. Could make for a fun night.

Be the bigger perosn let the issue go for the day its the time of year for happiness and forgeving.

Take the high road.

I have no idea of the circumstances, but it's christmas and that is when a family should get together and make peace...so let him in and make up.

Hey Ris...........you've obviously have gotten some good advice here.............. over the summer, my mother, sister and myself had a family business argument, my mom and I went without speaking for 2 months, my sister and I just started speaking 2 wks ago, when I got into the car accident, I went through all those thoughts of what if? but still did not contact my sis, only because she saw me and my children and drove right by us, I was very hurt by this and obviously shocked, if not for me, she could of stopped for my children, amazing, needless to say our relationship has changed drastically and I'm not sure if it will ever be what it was, she was my dearest friend and confidant, I would say depending on the matter of importance of your conflict with your brother, is it worth it, how important is he to you, beside all the surface crap, in your heart of hearts, living in the moment and realizing what if you died tomorrow, what would your last thoughts and feelings of your brother be, even if he does not respond, what matters is..........is your heart burdened or free from guilt..........good luck honey, I'll be praying for you both to come to a relization of how important you are to eachother.........

You can't recoupe lost time, buddy. Be the bigger man, you've got it in ya.

Originally posted by DaMayor
You can't recoupe lost time, buddy. Be the bigger man, you've got it in ya.

Great advice!

I've never understood why Christmas is 'the time' for forgiving people. Ris, I'm not sure what the grudge is about, but as Katie said, what if he was to keel over tomorrow. Would you be able to go to the funeral knowing that all was good? Could you say good bye to him without any second thoughts? Again, I don't understand why the Christmas season makes any difference to forgiving people, but it might be a good time to take advantage and patch things up if you answered no to the questions answered.

Thanks guys for all the replys.
My feelings on the death thing stand like this, if he was to die and was treating me like crap at the time and i wasn't speaking to him, then thats the way it goes..... i hold no regrets, dont believe in them and never will....
He has stabbed me in the back trying to get his own way and he wont speak to me like i'm the one with the problem.
I have never, in my entire life... been treated by anyone so badly. All over the fact he thinks i'm a bludger at work (which ain't true), but even if i was, what right would he have to judge me over this and then treat me this way (it's pathetic). He's my brother for fuck's sake..... it's gonna take me a long time to get over this. We we're as thick as thieves b4 (yes Katie like you and your sis) and now..... i dont think i can ever trust him again.....
My other brother has been a drug addict for 15yrs now and as much as i hate him for what he's done and the way he's treated my mum and dad i'm still nice to him and My brother in question treats him great..... me.... i'm a bludger..... so i get treated like shit...
well

I will do the right thing by the family though, i'm gonna express my dislike for him being there but still let him in..... but he's not getting any of my gingerbread house!!!!!!

Merry Christmas all !!!!

Originally posted by Rissole
Thanks guys for all the replys.
My feelings on the death thing stand like this, if he was to die and was treating me like crap at the time and i wasn't speaking to him, then thats the way it goes..... i hold no regrets, dont believe in them and never will....
He has stabbed me in the back trying to get his own way and he wont speak to me like i'm the one with the problem.
I have never, in my entire life... been treated by anyone so badly. All over the fact he thinks i'm a bludger at work (which ain't true), but even if i was, what right would he have to judge me over this and then treat me this way (it's pathetic). He's my brother for fuck's sake..... it's gonna take me a long time to get over this. We we're as thick as thieves b4 (yes Katie like you and your sis) and now..... i dont think i can ever trust him again.....
My other brother has been a drug addict for 15yrs now and as much as i hate him for what he's done and the way he's treated my mum and dad i'm still nice to him and My brother in question treats him great..... me.... i'm a bludger..... so i get treated like shit...
well

I will do the right thing by the family though, i'm gonna express my dislike for him being there but still let him in..... but he's not getting any of my gingerbread house!!!!!!

Merry Christmas all !!!!

No gingerbread house, LMAO

What's a bludger?

Seriously, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, regardless of family squabbles

Thanks Katie
Bludger=slacker at work...
Hope you have a wonderful time too sweetie

I agree also to just be the bigger person.

Sorry that things are not right.

I am bigger MUCH bigger

Sorry for all the swearing ladies.... :o

Just remember that this thread wasnt about forgiveness which i know in time should come, it was about whether i should let him in my house while he's treating me this way.

I say invite him ..... then make sure you have family with lots of small children...you know, the ones who are barely beyond the age of throwing food.

Then set up a children's table and put his plate there with the kids.

I'm the only one who said shut the door in his face?!!

Originally posted by kbm8795
Then set up a children's table and put his plate there with the kids.

TGS.... I knew there was something i like about you....

Originally posted by TheGreatSatan
I'm the only one who said shut the door in his face?!!

I did too. I'm an unfeeling bastard this time of year.

but it's Christmas

BAAAA HUMBUG

Originally posted by Rissole
BAAAA HUMBUG

You can't say that and still have a Christmas tree in your sig. Either you're with us Christmas haters or your not.

Fuck it then.... it's gone