Your opinion please!!!

**katie64** · 12-26-2003, 08:20 AM

Ok, I don't ask for advice very often, but I'm curious as to your take on this............I'm kinda (potentially) seeing someone very long distant, Christmas eve he was invited to dinner by his x-wife and her fiance`, so ok, I was actually a little taken aback by this, then the next day he tells me that his x had invited one of her co-workers to dinner as well, a female obviously, I'm not jealous about this, I just thinks it's odd, and that if he thinks this is cool now and we're not even an item, that he will think this is cool in the future, hmmmmm, I would find it weird to have dinner with my x and his wife and another male friend of theirs, what do you guys(gals) think????

**MikeKy** · 12-26-2003, 08:31 AM

Personally, I keep a "speaking" relationship with my ex because of the kids and yes grand kids, LOL.... But, that's it. If it bothers you, you really need to let it be known. If you try to let it go and it continues to happen, it won't go away. You will begin to have issues that strain the relationship. I'm older and somewhat wiser than I was when I was young and learned honesty is the best policy. If he isn't willing to make changes for you, the relationship may be on a collision course.
But, this in my opinion and I could be wrong.

**ALBOB** · 12-26-2003, 08:46 AM

Originally posted by MikeKy If it bothers you, you really need to let it be known. If you try to let it go and it continues to happen, it won't go away. You will begin to have issues that strain the relationship.

I agree with this................to a point. The problem I see is that you aren't IN a relationship yet. "Kinda"? "Potentially"? "Long distance"? Keep your thoughts to yourself until you really ARE in a relationship THEN you have every right to let him know it makes you uncomfortable.

**katie64** · 12-26-2003, 08:55 AM

Originally posted by MikeKy
Personally, I keep a "speaking" relationship with my ex because of the kids and yes grand kids, LOL.... But, that's it. If it bothers you, you really need to let it be known. If you try to let it go and it continues to happen, it won't go away. You will begin to have issues that strain the relationship. I'm older and somewhat wiser than I was when I was young and learned honesty is the best policy. If he isn't willing to make changes for you, the relationship may be on a collision course.
But, this in my opinion and I could be wrong.

Oh, I'm definitely not one to hold my tongue when I have issues, most around here know, haha, and I'm also older(39), I also have learned, and I agree about meeting in the middle for compatible relationships to work. I am also on very good terms with my x because of our son, we're actually very good friends, also with his wife but to have dinner with him and her would just be weird to me, like rubbing it in her face that we used to be together, I just think it would be disrespectful to her...........

**katie64** · 12-26-2003, 08:58 AM

Originally posted by ALBOB
I agree with this................to a point. The problem I see is that you aren't IN a relationship yet. "Kinda"? "Potentially"? "Long distance"? Keep your thoughts to yourself until you really ARE in a relationship THEN you have every right to let him know it makes you uncomfortable.

OMG ALbob, how are you darling?

I really tried not to say how I felt because of that, but I'm very honest and upfront when it comes to how I feel, especially if it's with someone that might "potentially", lol, touch my heart.......my guard goes up and this imaginary wall is in place around my heart, know what I mean...........been burned way too many times, it's comes from wearing my heart on my sleeve, not anymore....

Take care sweetheart, hope you had a great holiday

**katie64** · 12-26-2003, 10:01 AM

Originally posted by MikeKy
Personally, I keep a "speaking" relationship with my ex because of the kids and yes grand kids, LOL.... But, that's it. If it bothers you, you really need to let it be known. If you try to let it go and it continues to happen, it won't go away. You will begin to have issues that strain the relationship. I'm older and somewhat wiser than I was when I was young and learned honesty is the best policy. If he isn't willing to make changes for you, the relationship may be on a collision course.
But, this in my opinion and I could be wrong.

And MikeKy, they don't have any children together, they've been divorced for 5 years, she left him when he was in Saudi (Marines) back in '99, that was my other thought, see, she left him not the other way around.........

**MikeKy** · 12-26-2003, 10:08 AM

Well, I don't mind telling you that would really get to me. If it were me, I would keep him at a distance for a long time. If you enjoy the chat etc.. fine, but just say to yourself this is just a nice guy and don't get too attached unless things start to change.

**katie64** · 12-26-2003, 10:11 AM

Originally posted by MikeKy
Well, I don't mind telling you that would really get to me. If it were me, I would keep him at a distance for a long time. If you enjoy the chat etc.. fine, but just say to yourself this is just a nice guy and don't get too attached unless things start to change.

Thanks babe...........we're definitely at a distance, he's in WA State, I'm in Maine, lol

but we're meeting in FL in February

I bought his ticket though, I'm too nice, the other thing is he likes me more than I him, but I don't think it's really me, I think it has to do with my future financial situation.

Men, you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em

**oaktownboy** · 12-26-2003, 10:39 AM

Originally posted by katie64

Men, you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em

same with women

**MikeKy** · 12-26-2003, 10:42 AM

Originally posted by katie64
Men, you can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em

I always heard it said "Can't live with them and can't shoot them"

**JJJ** · 12-26-2003, 10:47 AM

Katie; you about to get rich?

"Women, cant live with them." Al Bundy

**katie64** · 12-26-2003, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by JJJ
Katie; you about to get rich?

"Women, cant live with them." Al Bundy

You can shoot 'em, just don't get caught, haha

**katie64** · 12-27-2003, 07:22 AM

I'm bumping this, cuz I really wanted to hear from some of the ladies at IM..........

**QuestionGuy** · 12-27-2003, 04:50 PM

to me it is kinda fishy because I do still "kinda" have fantasies of my x because of all that good sex, but if you think about it they just wanted maye to catch-up as friends and talk about their lifes....and think about this, There is a reason and x is an x, people break up because of a reason and most don't get back together just because of those reasons.........

**BUSTINOUT** · 12-27-2003, 06:05 PM

Originally posted by katie64
but I don't think it's really me, I think it has to do with my future financial situation.

Are you saying that his reason for liking you may be driven by money? If that is the case, going to dinner with his ex should be the least of your concerns.

**katie64** · 12-27-2003, 06:21 PM

Originally posted by BUSTINOUT
Are you saying that his reason for liking you may be driven by money? If that is the case, going to dinner with his ex should be the least of your concerns.

I agree

**BUSTINOUT** · 12-27-2003, 06:27 PM

gees girlie, sounds like the ball is in your court...bench his arse.

**Dero** · 12-27-2003, 06:32 PM

Originally posted by BUSTINOUT
gees girlie, sounds like the ball is in your court...bench his arse.

What's this a tennis game?????

**BUSTINOUT** · 12-27-2003, 06:34 PM

Originally posted by Dero
What's this a tennis game?????

There is no bench in tennis numbnuts.

**Dero** · 12-27-2003, 06:36 PM

Says WHO???

BTW Katie,straight to da bush,meaning no beating around da bush!!!
KISS this guys touch goodbye.
You can do better then dat!!!

**BUSTINOUT** · 12-27-2003, 06:39 PM

Go play with your spoke. lol

**BUSTINOUT** · 12-27-2003, 06:40 PM

Now offer katie some words of wisdom you old fart.

**Dero** · 12-27-2003, 06:42 PM

Originally posted by BUSTINOUT
Now offer katie some words of wisdom you old fart.

Ya mean my FORK!!!
Look up, a couple of post up from this one!!!

**Dero** · 12-27-2003, 06:52 PM

Hmmm,what happened to da MOFO????
Here one sec,GONE the next...

MOFO

**J'Bo** · 12-27-2003, 07:06 PM

katie.

how would he know that you are coming into money? if you told him...why? because i feel that you have many characteristics that would allow a man to love you for you and not your money.
personally i dont see a problem with exes hanging out with the other couple...i know many that do it and i know of one couple that was the best man and matron of honor at their exes wedding. if its a case of you not trusting him then trust is ESSENTIAL.

**katie64** · 12-27-2003, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by Dero
Says WHO???

BTW Katie,straight to da bush,meaning no beating around da bush!!!
KISS this guys touch goodbye.
You can do better then dat!!!

Thanks sweetheart, your right, and damn I just feel like crying, things like this just really suck sometimes.........

**katie64** · 12-27-2003, 07:25 PM

Originally posted by J'Bo
katie.

how would he know that you are coming into money? if you told him...why? because i feel that you have many characteristics that would allow a man to love you for you and not your money.
personally i dont see a problem with exes hanging out with the other couple...i know many that do it and i know of one couple that was the best man and matron of honor at their exes wedding. if its a case of you not trusting him then trust is ESSENTIAL.

He knows about my own business and my other business related inheritance that I will be getting (not yet), I still have to work my ass off though, I won't be rich, just through property wealth.........I agree trust is essential, I just found it odd, moreso that the co-worker was invited. Just kinda sucks, maybe I had my hopes up, I tend to wear blinders which is not in my best interest, thanks honey for you reply, I don't really have a problem with x's being friends either, it was just, the set up.........oh well, life goes on, right

**katie64** · 12-27-2003, 07:29 PM

I think probably I should have put this in journal, hate to show my vulnerable side.....

**J'Bo** · 12-27-2003, 07:37 PM

its fine to put here Katie.
i dont think its the end of the world really.
i would just see how things go when you meet up with him.
you can judge a person and their intentions alot better in person.

**zwoof** · 12-27-2003, 09:32 PM

I'm curious Katie....Do you know how long he was married to his ex? Was that his first marriage? (you mentioned that they did not have any kids) What is his age?

Most divorces do not end well. Personally, I agree with you about the circumstances surrounding the dinner. Sounds very unusual, to the say the least. I always like to "swap" scenarios with people......Would he like you going to dinner with your ex and his wife....along with a third party that they invited along? Wonder how he would feel about that?

I think J'Bo gives excellent advice! You'll be able to "judge" him much better in person. I know it's hard though, especially if you're emotionally involved. (.....and I'm speaking from experience). Honesty and trust are both hard things to interpret from a distance.

Thread: Your opinion please!!!

Thread Tools

Display

Your opinion please!!!

Similar Threads

An opinion

Opinion Please?

Need your opinion!!

opinion please

Posting Permissions