Thread: God's diet!!

And yea shall I tread through the valley of the lamb chops, and I shall fear no sauces…

And God populated the earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all
kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's.

And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-
cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them."

And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yoghurt, that woman
might keep Her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yoghurt, and he brought forth
chocolate, nuts and brightly coloured sprinkle candy to put on
the yoghurt.

And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon
bits, and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert.

And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from
Cracker Barrel so big, it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went
through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man
resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth Astro TV with remote control
so Man would not have to toil to change channels between
TV1 and TV2.

And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them.

And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the
potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said," It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass
surgery.....

And Satan created Medical Insurance Companies.

Good one Burnoer O2. Here is another medical/lawyer joke:

A young man was born with a congenital heart problem and needed to have a heart transplant by the time he was 30.

"Good News" said the cardiothoracic surgeon one day , "we just got in two hearts , A and B, so you have your pick today, but I am going to recommend heart A!"

"Oh great" says the young man. "Tell me a little about where the hearts came from first"

"Well "said the surgeon, "Heart A is from a Iron man triathelete who had perfect cholesterol and cardiac function but died tragically in a motor vehicle accident. This is the heart I want you to have......as for heart B, it belonged to a obese, smoking lawyer who ate McDonalds every day"

The young man smiled and said the choice was obvious...he wanted heart B.

"But.....but why!?" asked the surgeon flabbergasted.

"Because it's never been used" said the young man.