Thread: Relationship Issue !?!?! :0

Originally posted by Art
I feel cheated on already, I think I opened the door too soon.
As it stands, I have a date with her on Saturday night.
My heart wants to go ahead... pity my emotions are an issue...
Should I choose to cancel, it's hard because I'm not supposed to
know what my friends tell me.

Tell her that you have feelings but you are trying to be a gentleman, ask her how she feels and what you are supposed to do. If you feel like adding in "hey, I dont want to get hurt ok" then go for it, let her know that you care and that you have feelings too. Some people casually date, some dont, let her know your position and how you feel about only seeing one person at a time etc

See what comes forth...

I think the fact that she is having casual sex with somebody is a sign that you shouldn't go too slow with her.

I agree with Mudge and Irontime. I've never been good at casually dating someone I really like. Personally, I'd put a little pressure on when you see her. Meaning...dont be afraid to flirt, be physical, be that next bit of "male companionship" she's been missing. If anything, it will help keep you from becoming a "friend" in her eyes.

I am sorry to say that but this woman doesn´t seem ready for "feelings". Don´t expect her to feel something for you right now. So, don´t play the "feelings" card now, save it for later. Do you know what I mean ? I hope so.

I agree. I'm sure the last thing she wants after coming out of a relationship is another relationship. I'd play it casual, but let her know how u feel. Maybe if she's hooking up with you on a regular basis, she wont feel the need to sleep with other guys. Sounds like she has to go through this phase before she's ready to settle into something again.

"ALL I WANT IS BANG BANG BANG"

http://madblast.com/view.cfm?type=FunFlash&display=2516

^one of the truest funniest flashes
do your self a favor and go there

I dont know how that is going to help the guy, if she really is doing this, she is either doing it to avoid negative feelings from her last relationship or she is really a different kind of woman than at least myself.

I've considered the casual thing but its just not me.

Thanx for the replies guys.
I suppose the only thing that will help me is to make the best
choices that I can. I won't be giving anyone an inch, and I'm
not prepared to settle for anything less than what I think is
mutual honesty and respect in a relationship.

There's some things I just want out of life,
and I didn't come this far to ruin it.
Art.

..........er, I'm a bit slow today. So what does that mean you are going to do?

At the very least it means he has to find out whats up. If he knows whats up and it was what everyone thinks, then it means IMO he is going to look elsewhere, which is kind of sad but hey, I would have likely done the same thing.

Everyone is different, and there are some things I can and can't live with.

Some people are gay, some people have casual sex, etc etc - I am not gay and I dont have casual sex, but I have no problems with those that choose to live thier life that way. As long as they aren't of course bringing kids into the world before they are ready, and honestly I dont think broken homes are good for anyone.

Originally posted by Art
Then later that night I find out that the reason she is going out
with the other guy is sexual, and she has had sex with a stranger
since she broke up with her boyfriend because she 'misses male company'.

Now this logic will never make sense to me. Maybe because that is the last reason that I would "sleep" with someone.

maybe she has low self esteem after getting
dumped by her last bf....

Still a sorry reason to bang "strangers". Any girl that believes that that will give her more personal worth, has bigger issues that you definitely want to be aware of. Her behavior sure as hell ain't helping the asteem issues.

I feel cheated on already, I think I opened the door too soon.
As it stands, I have a date with her on Saturday night.
My heart wants to go ahead... pity my emotions are an issue...
Should I choose to cancel, it's hard because I'm not supposed to
know what my friends tell me.
Art.

She doesn't have to know you know. Just keep things low key and on a friendly level. I can see where this would bug the hell out of you. Personally, it's hard for me to allow myself to get too emotionally involved with someone that "cheapens" themself this way. Hell, I hate to even buy used furniture.

Dude! sorry i just read ur post that she was sleeping with someone!!
I know exactly how that would make you feel, the same thing kinda happened with me!
Damn it hurt so bad...
I liked this girl (shes in my galler) and we were not quite dating, but it turned out that she was having sex with this one guy....

I felt like ripping out my heart...so i feel you man, but you cant get jealous or anything, once she is with you she'll stop doing that

so i say as of right now GO FOR HER!

apparently she wants sex...and she likes you

2 for 1, she'll be happy

thats just what i think

good luck man

..........er, I'm a bit slow today. So what does that mean you are going to do?

It means I'll give it a chance because I have feelings,
but I won't disrespect myself for her.

I guess Sat night will tell me a lot.

She is coming over here tonight also, but that's because my Dad
is involved in running a program to do with her employment.
Everyone where she works has to do it, she volunteered to go
first probably because it's an opportunity to see me & chat.
Art.

Maybe you could attempt to let her know that you aren't going to be seeing anyone else and see how she responds (?) You could also add in perhaps that you aren't trying to make it all serious, but just that is the way you are and that its important to you.

Well, good luck buddy. I know we are all hoping for the best for ya.

Well it's Saturday night, and I'm at home not long after the movie.
I'd say all went well.. easy to make her laugh, she was very attentive.

The Last Samurai was a great movie, but who cares?

Anyway, I got a kiss on the cheek, and suggested going out again
and doing something that she likes doing which appears to be
going out to the local tavern.

Also heard from another source that her date with the other guy
happened, but it must have been a flop.. she was home in bed by
herself very early

Only thing missing was romance.. it wasn't very romantic at all..
I didn't make any physical contact, but I think I should make at
least some physical contact next time.
Art.

Everything is going by the plan.
Next time psysical contact is VERY necessary.

Only thing missing was romance.. it wasn't very romantic at all..

Tell me something .. How did you know that is wasn´t romatic ?
What´s the difference ?

I don't know if there is much potential for 'romance' at a movie
on a first date... I was just working on making her feel comfortable with me... with humor.. which I think worked.
I did feel as if we could run out of conversation, but we held up ok.

Tell me something .. How did you know that is wasn´t romatic ?
What´s the difference ?

I mean there's nothing to say it wouldn't go a friendly way,
rather than a romantic way... that's why I feel the need to
use some light contact.. hand holding/flirting at least... and
perhaps some less superficial conversation.

The night left me with a good feel though.
Art.

I'm suprised at the intrest that this thread has generated.
Are you guys not getting laid yourselves?
Or do you consider it your duty to help me get there
Art.

Originally posted by Art
I'm suprised at the intrest that this thread has generated.
Are you guys not getting laid yourselves?
Or do you consider it your duty to help me get there
Art.

BOTH ARE TRUE HERE!

No, I just like to help .