Relationship Issue !?!?! :0

**Art** · 01-27-2004, 02:14 PM

Hi Guys..
So I meet a nice young lady with a pleasant personality,
and also very attractive and all

I am keen on her as I was even before her last relationship ended.
The problem is that her ex-boyfriend dropped her,
and she later found out that he had been cheating on her, and is in another relationship.

So we have one very hurt young lady.
I know this young lady is 'interested' in me.
Although obviously not looking for another relationship right now,
we have been rather friendly with each other.

Would it be adviseable to tell her in plain English that I'm
interested in her, but I would like to give her time to get
her head & heart together, etc. so as not to risk any rebound thing?
I think I will at least have to send something for Valentine's day..
I would end up looking like a prick if she was anticipating something
that never arrived.
Cheers, Art.

**butterfly** · 01-27-2004, 02:38 PM

Yeah, tell her how you feel and then watch for signs that she is ready.

**Sapphire** · 01-27-2004, 05:41 PM

I say tell her how you feel.. and also tell her you understand if she needs time to get her head on straight. DEFINITELY get her a little something for Valentine's day... maybe daisies or one red rose... sweet but not too much!

**Var** · 01-27-2004, 05:50 PM

Definitely tell her. Just do your best to keep it casual at first. If she's not ready to move on, you run the risk of being her rebound guy. Not typically a good role.

**Vieope** · 01-27-2004, 06:38 PM

Go for it, tell her.

**Art** · 01-27-2004, 08:17 PM

It looks like I tell her then

It's the pretty obvious answer when you think about it I guess.
I will bite the bullet and do so at the next opportunity.
I meet her throught mutual friends so I have to wait for the next
time I see her.

Perhaps I will alert her when something is on the way for V's day,
so I can assure her that I don't intend to apply pressure.
Cheers, Art.

**Art** · 02-13-2004, 11:02 PM

I must have made the right choice, I saw her last night,
she thanked me for the rose and said she thought my
message was nice. I asked her out, she was very receptive

Saw her again today, got the phone number, and have just
to set a date

I think I will keep the details to myself from here on
Cheers Guys, Art.

**Mudge** · 02-14-2004, 02:06 AM

Awesome, good luck.

**Vieope** · 02-14-2004, 07:02 AM

Now I can say ...I told you.

**Art** · 02-14-2004, 07:20 AM

I suppose you can

This is scary stuff.
i was smoking lots of cigs and pot before I quit and got into
the fitness thing several months ago... it's been several
years since my psycololical & biological systems have been
aligned enough for me to do what it takes to make this sort
of thing happen.
Art.

**DFINEST** · 02-14-2004, 09:14 AM

Nothing ventured.....nothing Gained
women can't read minds so tell her
and watch for the signs

**QuestionGuy** · 02-14-2004, 09:49 AM

good luck man, i feel really happy for you, " im a sucker for love" hehe, but dont show that you care to much, and dont be acting likd she is the queen or something, sometimes it can explode in your face when being to nice........

**irontime** · 02-15-2004, 01:41 PM

Originally posted by Art
I think I will keep the details to myself from here on

To hell with that

You started us in on this and now we want ALL the details........pictures if you got 'em

**Vieope** · 02-15-2004, 01:48 PM

Originally posted by irontime

To hell with that

You started us in on this and now we want ALL the details........pictures if you got 'em

Agreed
Finish what you started man.

**Art** · 02-15-2004, 02:19 PM

Well I was in the pool with her yesterday at my landlord's
house (who is a mutual friend), and one of their kids pulled
her top off by accident... but I had to look away coz I'm a gentleman

Pity I wasn't looking in the right direction to start with.'

The date will probably be next weekend anyhow.
I will take things slow so there won't be too many details for some time.

Damn she is beautifull

Art.

**Vieope** · 02-15-2004, 02:30 PM

Originally posted by Art
but I had to look away

Yeah right!

After each date come back and tell us everything. We will even suggest the name of your son with her. lol

**irontime** · 02-15-2004, 03:33 PM

Originally posted by Art
and one of their kids pulled her top off by accident... but I had to look away coz I'm a gentleman

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

You look at those damn puppies and get us details. Then you offer to put it back on for her, then while you're doing it you start massaging her back and nibbling her neck. Geeze, some people

...............then again, maybe you did the right thing.

**QuestionGuy** · 02-15-2004, 03:49 PM

dont take things to slow man, dont be to nice im telling you, dont be too nice,

**irontime** · 02-15-2004, 03:53 PM

Good point, or you may find yourself as 'just a friend'

**BUSTINOUT** · 02-15-2004, 06:01 PM

Originally posted by irontime
Good point, or you may find yourself as 'just a friend'

The Kiss of Death!

**Mudge** · 02-15-2004, 08:08 PM

That is true, generally a woman will not be with you unless she wanted a peice of you too.

**Art** · 02-15-2004, 08:46 PM

Then you offer to put it back on for her,
then while you're doing it you start massaging her back and nibbling her neck

I have already given her two neck/shoulder massages

I didn't just meet her yesterday.
I was only reluctant to ask her out because her last relationship just ended.
I think I should have offered to put the top back on... damn it...

Maybe I should share some details...
then at least if I get dissapointed,
I won't be the only one

What's too nice?
Art.

**myCATpowerlifts** · 02-15-2004, 09:10 PM

I find that i turn off potential EX's (LOL!) by being too nice...
then they just think im sweet and wanna be friends....
yea right biatch...hehe just kidding, but damn im tired of being the friend, and not the sex buddy

**myCATpowerlifts** · 02-15-2004, 09:11 PM

art, man keep filling us in, pretty soon someone will make ur story into a romance novel

:P

**Mudge** · 02-15-2004, 10:22 PM

Originally posted by Art
What's too nice?
Art.

You have to play it by ear man, thats where experience comes in, as well as feeling the situation out yourself. If she really digs you ultimately it will come together though IMO, unless her last one haunts her.

Good luck, may I live vicariously through you

**chris1234** · 02-15-2004, 11:32 PM

you left out if she was hot--but why go for a chick that wants that type of guy in the first place? Odds are she will find another 'bad boy' and you'll be on your way. What do you want out all this anyway? longterm shorterm?

**Art** · 02-16-2004, 01:33 AM

Damn she is beautifull

That means she's hot!

Potential long term, she is not a short term kinda girl.
Then again reguardless of the qualities I admire in her,
I could end up finding nothing in common with her and
have little to make conversation about... who knows...
I can make girls laugh but humour can't keep things
going forever.
Art.

**myCATpowerlifts** · 02-16-2004, 07:14 PM

^^^

harsh but true...

**Art** · 02-17-2004, 10:24 PM

Ok, I'm a bit hurt

Yesterday I find out that a friend (sort of) has asked her out to
the movies and she accepted.
Then later in the day I find out that she's not interested in a
relationship with him so I'm back to thinking that things might
be looking up for me.
(I find out a lot from friends)

Then later that night I find out that the reason she is going out
with the other guy is sexual, and she has had sex with a stranger
since she broke up with her boyfriend because she 'misses male company'.

Apparently, she is still interested in me (go figure).

This came as a shock to our mutual friend as well who has known
her for years.. maybe she has low self esteem after getting
dumped by her last bf....

I feel cheated on already, I think I opened the door too soon.
As it stands, I have a date with her on Saturday night.
My heart wants to go ahead... pity my emotions are an issue...
Should I choose to cancel, it's hard because I'm not supposed to
know what my friends tell me.
Art.

**irontime** · 02-18-2004, 09:20 AM

Ouch, tough one.

First of all I can see how this would really bug you. You are interested in a girl and apparently she is in you, but she is sleeping with somebody else. That could really put doubts in your mind and I don't blame you.

But she is single at the moment. And there aren't too many of us who haven't had casual sex with strangers when we were/are single, so she isn't really doing anything wrong. Granted if she has a date comming up with you she shouldn't be.

I say go for the date, see what happens, and more importantly see how you still feel about her after the date. If you don't think you can deal with what she did then move on.

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