i have a BIIIG problem

**dnale48** · 03-13-2004, 02:38 PM

i have been dating this girl for about a year and a half now. We love each other so much and have the best time together. but i am 19 and she is 17, and i will probably go of to college far away next year. She tells me she want me till the day she dies and i believe her too. We want to try to make it work even though i wont see her very much. people have told me to move on but the though of her with someone else kills me and i know she feels the same way. when i think about it now i am not sure i can make it without her. I am also going to be playing football next year too wich will be a tough challange and i am kinda nervous to go into that challange without her. what whould i do this is really bothering me?

**Jezziah** · 03-13-2004, 03:01 PM

Every problem is magnified by 100x's when you're a teenager. Take a step back and try to put it in perspective. You both should go and experience life a little... after some time apart reexamine your feelings and do what feels right.

**dnale48** · 03-13-2004, 03:10 PM

but i dont want her with anyone else and she doesnt want me wiht anyone else

**dnale48** · 03-13-2004, 03:11 PM

i geuss its just something i gotta do right.

**Jezziah** · 03-13-2004, 03:54 PM

Everyone has to make their own mistakes...but dude trust me go out and live a little before you settle down. You're gonna play college football for christ sakes theres gonna be chicks all over you.

**P-funk** · 03-13-2004, 07:10 PM

Yeah, you are way to young to be in a realationship like this. She sounds like a great girl but she's gotta go, you need to live your life otherwise you are going to be looking back wondering what could have been.

**myCATpowerlifts** · 03-13-2004, 09:01 PM

:\ well you can still keep in touch... at the least

just dont let your feelings for each other hold you back

**DaMayor** · 03-13-2004, 09:18 PM

Dude, hit it and get on wid it!.....Sound harsh? Yep, I imagine so. But you're at a pivotal point in your life....don't let 'da-nookie' be your prime motivator. Don't beleive me? Ask Kuso!

**Crono1000** · 03-14-2004, 09:41 AM

I've always suggested in these kinda threads to enjoy experiencing dating and enjoy life and so on. But none of us here can make the decision for you and only you know what's best. Nothing's impossible.

I do think it's good to meet different people so that you know what you like and don't like, know what's out there. It's a growing experience, and we all have lots of that growing and learning to experience. Especially once you're in college, you will have to evaluate whether your feelings for her are stronger than your natural temptation to meet new people, which you will face on a daily basis. And there's thousands of new people a day, and still only her on the other side of the scale.

Read this thread for some good advice, it's not the same problem, but the advice can be carried over here. Pay attention to all the experiment and experience advice.

Extremely Confused

however, know that there are plenty of exceptions. There are a few people on the board here who have been with one and only one person. Most of even them will say it's something they missed out on though. Not that they'd change anything, it's just something they don't recommend.

But seriously, what's the hurt in trying? If you get in college and realize it doesn't work out, at least you tried right?

btw, check your PM's.

**andyo** · 03-14-2004, 11:49 AM

Your challenge is a tough one, for sure. But life will take you apart, and maybe if all is meant to be, you will find one another again. Remember though, live a bit first, then settle, not the other way around.

Trust me on this one.

**Mudge** · 03-14-2004, 01:15 PM

Originally posted by Crono1000
But none of us here can make the decision for you and only you know what's best. Nothing's impossible.

Agreed, follow what you think is best. Even if one of you changes your mind down the line then thats life.

Advice is always great, but all it can really do is either help you see a viewpoint you hadn't thought of, or help reinforce your own thoughts. I would not blindly follow advice.

**odin52** · 03-14-2004, 02:14 PM

You will try to stay together and it will be very difficult and emotional, as you experience different things you will both grow as people, possibly closer most likely apart. Chances are in a year you will both be dating other people, but you can never tell and no one can tell you exactly what will happen. I am in the military and a casualty of several long distance relationships, my only advice is to take it one day at a time and try not to plan too far ahead, it's all about trust and maturity. In the end you will only regret what you never tried.

**P-funk** · 03-14-2004, 05:00 PM

Originally posted by DaMayor
Dude, hit it and get on wid it!.....Sound harsh? Yep, I imagine so. But you're at a pivotal point in your life....don't let 'da-nookie' be your prime motivator. Don't beleive me? Ask Kuso!

Holy shit!! DM! I was just thinking the other day about where the hell you have been? Have seen you posting around in a long time? What's goin' on?

Great opening line of advice also!

**gr81** · 03-14-2004, 06:46 PM

Its time to move on to the next stage of your life, thats how we grow and mature as people. You can't hold onto things forever, and a relationship like this at your age is no exception dude. I love it when kids your age say things like, "oh I have never felt this way about a girl before" or something to that effect. Of course you haven't , you have barely experienced anything. There are so many women in this world man, you really think you have found THE ONE at 17. You are waaaaaayyyy to young to be in a seriously relationship, like Pfunk said.. believe it man. Long distance relationships are no good either. Now is your time to experience life while you are surrounded by so many people in your peer group and you are in your prime! take advantage. If you two are really meant to be, you will find each other again.

**irontime** · 03-15-2004, 03:27 PM

Pretty much agree with everyone here.
I know you are reading all of these replies and saying to yourself
'but our love is different'
and trust me, we all said that at one point in our lives. But the fact is that neither of you have actually gone out and lived yet. You'll go to college, eventually she will and you will both be into the party scene and start to wonder about different people. I know it's easy to deny it now but it's human nature.

I say the best thing for you to do is to have a clean break so that you two can stay friends, at least this way you will stay in contact with each other. If you go to college and one of you finds another person they are attracted too while you are still dating then you will lose the friendship you had.

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