Thread: 2 Funny jokes to start your day with a smile....READ THIS

Joke #1
A TRue Story.....
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

Joke #2

TOP 10 THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY:
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do a split.
7. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
6. Get picked up in a bar in less that 10 minutes
5. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
4. Go to the gyno and ask to have the examination recorded on video.
3. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.
2. Actually catch a buzz off 1 wine cooler.
And the # 1 thing a man would do is:
1. Finally find that damn G-spot.

TOP 10 THINGS WOMAN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY:
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal.
6. Determine why you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch/Shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may be to others.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member.
And the # 1 thing a women would do is:
1. Repeat # 9.

Originally posted by BritChick
lmao
had a really shitty day and was in a foul mood but these brought a smile to my face... thanks!

you betcha