Thread: Sunday Funny

IDIOTS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, My phone went dead and I had to contact the telephone
repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant
gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"
I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since
our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future
outages by email. I asked him, "Does YOUR email work without a
telephone line?"


IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the
card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary
to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed
the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to
the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it,
they matched.


IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were
being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.


IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg.


IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know? " He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."


IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of
mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that
it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would
not turn on.


IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied,
"I know - I already got that side."

ZERO GRAVITY

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that Ball--point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientist spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 degrees Centigrade.

The Russians used a pencil. Enjoy paying your taxes--they're due again.

Originally posted by Burner02
ZERO GRAVITY

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that Ball--point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientist spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 degrees Centigrade.

The Russians used a pencil. Enjoy paying your taxes--they're due again.

That one hurts.