Thread: The Wizard of IM: An IM Story, Part 2

(this one's not so good, but I wanna get the story going)

Chapter 2: The Plot Thickens

“Hello dear. My name is Queen Butterfly, and YOU are in the land of IM…”

IT slowly awakened to the inviting voice and a gentle, soft caressing on his forehead and nose. He woke up to a short, three foot dwarf tea bagging his face. The short man looked down and greeted, “Wakey Wakey, Eggs and bacey!”

“Leave the poor soul alone, Eggs,” came the pleasant voice once again, the same that introduced itself as Butterfly.

“Oh I’m just playin’ with him,” came the munchkin’s response.

The conversation didn’t hold IT’s attention long. Directly to his right his home rested in the grass. Coiling beneath the structure sat long toed, white and black socks on two pail, hairy legs. Next to the certainly doomed, fashion impaired victim was a flashy red thong.

“Your home here has killed naturaltan, the wicked witch of the Sexual Health Forums,” Butterfly explained as she crept closer to IT on her tricycle.

Eggs raised his arm in celebration “DING DONG The Bitch is dead!”

The chant waved through the crowd in a gay song, lead by the dancing and prancing Eggs. When the song ended, Eggs brought up his pants and reached for the red thong next to the fallen witch.

“This now belongs to you IT," Queen Butterfly explained, "along with a great burden that I must put on your shoulders. Now that you have killed one of the two evil witches, it has become your chore to extinguish this world of the greater witch of the Open Chat Forums, Prince."

At the mention of the evil name, thunder struck and lightening brought the skies to life and then darkened it once again. gr81 licked his balls.

“At your aid is the great thong of naturaltan. Find the appropriate suitor for the thong and you shall return home, along with your greatest most desire.”

IT drifted for a second, realizing his dream to become the champion of the Miss Canada pageant. Yes- he would accept this challenge and rid this world of the witch of the Open Chat forums, and return home as the leading contender of Canada's finest.

“Queen Butterfly…” IT paused.

“Please, call me Butt,” Butterfly interrupted.

“Butt, I accept your challenge, and I will not return until I have
finished this task! Give me directions, and I’m off!”

“Wonderful. Follow the yellow brick road, but beware the many dangers that follow. You must go past the General Health and Awareness Forums where you will face the endless army of hypochondriacs. Shortly after, you will come across the Supplements Forum, against Prince’s army of flying monkeys following their leader, Kuso. On your journey you will find many friends as well as enemies, but choose wisely which is which. You will eventually come to the Open Chat forums, where you will finally face off against Prince. He’s a real douche bag, so be careful.”

IT marched off to the gay song of Eggs and his team of munchkins. His pet gr81 caught up and grasped IT by the side, loyally heading into the adventure alongside him. IT felt comfort with his pet at his side, saying "It looks like we're not in Canada anymore, gr81."

As they marched off into the strange new world, they heard a faint cry in the wind behind them.

“Wait up ya finger smellin’ butt plugs!” yelled Eggs as he waddled towards the wandering adventurers, “Ya can’t just leave me back there! I’m gonna come too!”

As IT was distracted greeting his new companion, gr81’s animal instincts kicked in. Something was not right, and someone, or something, crept closer from the shadows. Hissing, and pulling out a handgun, gr81 faced towards this new threat.

Another song ensued. Suddenly, IT and Eggs looked off into the distance. The haunting song grew louder and louder, dread growing in the stomachs of the adventurers. All that the three could make of the lyrics so far were the leery chorus of “If I only had some hair.” It didn’t take long for a familiar face to match the song; it was Uncle Albob.

whats it gonna take for me to play a major role???
sir sux a lot?