Thread: The Wizard of IM: An IM Story, Part 3

*This one's a bit lengthy, hope you enjoy.

Chapter 3: The Scarecrow

The glare of the sun blinded the three adventurers, but IT could make out just enough to enquire an answer, “Uncle Albob?” The glare had, indeed, been reflecting off of his shiny, bald head.

But the look on the uncle’s face was not one of joy or relief, but absolute terror. For Albob was not himself, but with straw sticking out of major joints and limbs. Reminiscent of a scarecrow, Albob was being chased by a dark cloud of angry crows.

Leading the band of crows was a strangely dressed man wielding a cane. Limping with his pants at his ankles and a white stained dictionary holstered by an unseen appendage at his waist, OceanDude ran out screaming 8-syllable insults at the renegade scarecrow, “That recrudescing sonuva’ bitch! Return to your quiescence immediately!”

Startled, IT, his pet gr81, the shortly postured and even shorter endowed Eggs, ran off in fear towards the never ending yellow brick road. Quickly following was Albob in his new, wobbly scarecrow form. The four ran for hours; IT and crew thinking they were being chased by a murderous Albob, and Albob running for explanations and in fear that the ravenous OceanDude might not be far behind.

Miles into the run and the skies darkened, the trees sang a new song from their recent silent whish in the breeze, and the wind now carried a sliver of mist in its adjacent trail to the brick road‘s path. A drop of rain fell on gr81’s muzzle, and the adventurers became suddenly aware that it was time to find shelter. Hours had passed, and Albob and the disgruntled OceanDude were nowhere to be seen.

“A cave!” yelled Eggs, and the three ran quickly to the clearing.

The cave seemed pleasant enough. There was no immediate resident of the small burrow, such as a bear, although there were signs of a skunk or other small rodent having lived there recently. There were a few cobwebs to clear, and a musky scent in some of the farther corners, but it would be shelter against the icy rain and as a hideout from the potential assailers nonetheless.

Not long into the night, footsteps alerted the three of a new presence.

“Hello?” came an unknown voice.

“Albob?” IT dared to hope.

“Asshole?” the voice answered.

“Albob, it IS you!”

The four were finally at peace. With distance between them and OceanDude, probably still with his pants at his ankles, they each had time to rest and share the story of their experiences since the terrible storm.

Albob explained that during the tornado, Dale had attempted to win his freedom by smacking Albob on the back of the head with a vibrator. With the storm taking place, Dale Mabry would have been able to blame the entire attack on the strong winds and the magnetic metal plate in Albob’s head attracting a deadly encounter with a frying pan. When he woke up, OceanDude was having his way with a previously inanimate scarecrow all the while screaming the longest words he could find in a dictionary. Temporarily comatose, Albob sprang to life as the scarecrow, and saw his nephew and his pet, gr81, running in fear along a yellow brick road. Following the logical sequence of the trail, Albob’s old body could not run as fast but walked until he came across this cave. IT and his crew were satisfied with the story.

“HEEEEEY…” a roar cried.

Confused, the adventurers scanned their temporary cove.

Suddenly it was so clear to the experienced IT and Albob as they screamed simultaneously, “IT’S A GAPING VORTEX!”

The dark cave had suddenly become a whirling chasm sucking the four adventurers inward. The four never stood a chance, barely able to keep their feet on the ground. gr81 grabbed IT’s legs, as well as a third appendage either by accident or purposefully- but considering the short length of the nub it was most definitely intentional. Albob and Eggs were the first to be sucked into the abyss, Eggs‘s short legs not able to run against the pull and Albob too old to fight against the wind. Albob managed to smack himself on the forehead before entering the vast gorge, knowing he should have known better as soon as he had seen the name of the area “Titanya's Cave.”

It was so very spacious inside the chasm. Eggs and Albob sat stunned, IT and gr81 not yet fallen in. Bats and spiders roamed freely around the two captives, who were sitting atop what seemed to be years of lost items, both small and gradually larger placed items. Fruit, toys, and a grandfather clock all decorated the lonely, vacant black hole in space and time.

Elsewhere, IT and gr81 still held on for dear life. gr81 lost his hold on IT’s leg and fell just short of the fissure. Screaming his name, IT witnessed as his beloved pet fell into the vast void of nothingness. IT held on tight, but as he grasped the hair like strings coming out of the sides of the cavern the enchanted thong fell from his pocket safely clinging to a crevice. IT, however was not so lucky. His grip let go.

IT fell hard onto his pile of friends.

Who knows what dangers awaited the adventurers in this unknown world. Unfortunately, they would know all too soon.

Chanting in the shadows, two red eyes came accompanied with a growl, “Lions, and tigers, and Var, oh my…”

You should have OD run into the other cave. That way when the story is synced with Pink Floyd it will be around the song "Brain Damage" right around the lyrics the 'Lunatic is in the grass' but in the IM remix it will say 'The Lunatic is in the Ass'