Am I the only one FEELING all of this?

KillerAbz · 05-17-2004, 10:17 AM

I hope you don't mind I write this here... I am keeping a little journal here as well over in the journal section, but I thought a lot of people since this is obviously on many minds now would be curious to read it if they miss it over there, so for that I hope it's alright...

For me also, I'd be curious as to what people think... or not... in truth I am at a loss for words, yet, here I am writing something down...

It started like this...

I can't be the only one who is feeling the sickness and blackness of what's happened to this world. Again, what's being broadcast is always (and I hate to say it like this) the tip of the iceberg in the sense that whatever can evoke the most emotion, controversy, confusion, or uproar, goes straight to the eyes and ears and sadly in my case, hearts of those who are on the other end.

This is not simply an observer account. I have had people emailing me letters from Iraq who are over there "fighting" for months now, ever since I tuned in months back and saw those bright neon green lights showcasing the explosions. My heart stopped, and again, I got angry at myself because it's not enough to just sit there and turn your head, shut off the television, and go about your life. Millions do, but I can't, I never could.

We have gotten to a point where everything is so sad, so dark, so scary, that the only way that we (and when I say we I mean HUMAN BEINGS) know how to dig ourselves out of confusion, is through violence and redeption... Sadly, I don't think there will ever be a time where no matter what the difference, what the objection, what the argument, all resolutions will be agreed upon through talks, chats, peace, games, etc. it's just not going to happen, and it hurts me to say that. BUT, that doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to make sure at least some of this darkness sees patches of light as long as it still CAN SEE...

You know, as I was sitting in the store the other day and just reading, flipping through books, I always go for the glossy pages for the pictures first, I know lots of people are like this, I again picked up another book that Princess Diana's former "rock" wrote after she had died. There was a lot in that book that made me think, that made me realize just how fleeting time is and how once something bad happens, seemingly all people have to hang onto are what you left behind during the time you were hear. In her case, it was a lot of letters, A LOT OF LETTERS, a lot of personal little nik naks, and a lot symbols of times or things or people whom had touched her. I am very much like that in the sense that no matter how badly I may be hurting inside right now in my heart, and fighting so hard to finally know freedom, I am clinging onto photographs of people whom even if they are gone now and moved on with their life, at one point offered me some compassion, understanding, or love... because it means the world to me. The smallest things do, and I don't need an epic tragedy or event to realize that. Again, I am certain this will all come across as pure idealistic fantasy, some naive little 22 year old in New Jersey now finding comfort and understanding from a woman who has since taken her trip to her next life which sadly had to end so harshly... but, it's the truth. When you have never known the true concept of family, your instincts gravitate and force you to approach and treasure everything you come across and step into as something you choose to hold dear and value like a nothing else. It's also I think why helping animals, and dreaming of building the worlds biggest sanctuary where I can just invite all the dogs and aniamls in the streets to come and live is something that never seems anything short of a perfectly attainable reality... Noah's Ark for me is something that I find sanctuary in, seeing kinds in hospitals and bringing little Mickey Mouses' for them to smile and play, seeing dogs in those rusted cages with red dots signaling they are to be killed by noon and DOING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I can to never allow that to happen no matter how silly or out of it I seem, is what I know I am meant to do.

I am about to put up some photographs at my website -> http://www.jamieleigh.net showing the pictures of my chest after the surgeries. No big deal at all for me... in fact, I forget they are even there. They should go up tonight, I must work hard to make sure I do it... I will take a bit of a break now.

If you love someone, call them and tell that TODAY... don't wait, write them a letter EVEN IF YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THEY WILL NEVER WRITE YOU BACK nor acknowledge they got your letter or words, do it anyhow.... it may not be a catharsis and you may not hear some angel humming above your head when you do something so out of the ordinary like that, but I think for me, those small things are the things that we are lacking right now, now then things are so scary... I think it would be nice and they will smile... just please, don't expect anything in return. I have always believed that silence is one of the best blessings you can get when someone has gotten your words because it means they tooks them straight to heart and not to mouth where words simply would get in the way....

I'll be back...

xo
jamie leigh
http://www.jamieleigh.net
Email: jamieleighdotnet@hotmail.com
AIM: xanAmericanGrrlx

Dale Mabry · 05-17-2004, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillerAbz

If you love someone, call them and tell that TODAY... don't wait, write them a letter

If you need to write them a letter to tell them that then there are deeper issues at hand.

As to everything else written, nothing surprises me because I have a realistic view of the world. Many people say that free will is what makes us better than other animals, but at times it is also what makes us worse.

Vieope · 05-17-2004, 10:58 AM

Every generation goes through the same thing, the world is not ending or it is worse than before. The truth is that you are getting older and your life is ending. The world is fine.

Sorry for this post.

KillerAbz · 05-17-2004, 11:56 AM

Quote:

If you need to write them a letter to tell them that then there are deeper issues at hand.

Not true at all Dale, in fact, very untrue.

Everyone has different ways of expressing themselves and in their own ways. Not everyone has the COURAGE to say exactly what they feel as they are feeling it, in fact, there are very few... perhaps you are one of them hence the reaction you wrote... hmm... ;-)

You can't judge how people convey their feelings. Some are deep, some are on the surface, no point in comparing hon.

Dale Mabry · 05-17-2004, 12:51 PM

My point was that if you are treating them like someone you love you shouldn't have to tell them that, they should already know.

Actions speak louder than words...

KillerAbz · 05-17-2004, 03:25 PM

Quote:

My point was that if you are treating them like someone you love you shouldn't have to tell them that, they should already know.

Hardly got that message from your original words... perhaps you should re-read it?

In any case... I stand firm.

maniclion · 05-17-2004, 04:04 PM

I feel you, the other day I kept flipping through the news stations trying to dodge the bad news, I didn't feel like hearing it. I mean we boast that we have evolved so much in the last 2000 years, but how much of our evolution was based around WAR for example technological advances, United Nations, etc. I wish we could settle our differences without violence maybe a game of baseball or football spend trillions on making the perfect athletes instead of weapons.

I also know what you mean about just sending an unconditional letter to a loved one even if they know you love them it is still something they can file away and one day stumble across it and have it conjure up wonderful memories.

KillerAbz · 05-17-2004, 05:42 PM

Quote:

I also know what you mean about just sending an unconditional letter to a loved one even if they know you love them it is still something they can file away and one day stumble across it and have it conjure up wonderful memories.

Thank you for sharing Mani... I feel you as well...

Dale Mabry · 05-17-2004, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dale Mabry
If you need to write them a letter to tell them that then there are deeper issues at hand.

The deeper issue being that you are not treating them properly. I would figure you of all folk would get that.

Big Smoothy · 05-18-2004, 09:59 AM

Stay away from the news coverage....the images and over-simplified and audience instulting gimmick of the local news, CNN, MSNBC, FOX, and the rest.

Reading for fun, sports, working out, telling jokes, hanging with friends, or whatever is better.

We as individuals cannot change the world anyway....why be concerned....but that does not mean....being aware....

greekblondechic · 05-18-2004, 10:19 AM

The news is too disturbing to watch..

KillerAbz · 05-18-2004, 10:36 AM

Cleary you are judging me on something I am still lost on Dale, so we will just agree to disagree...

For those who said just don't watch it, I couldn't agree more, YET, YET (as is ironically right now as I sit here) some of the biggest news stories I have been witness to LITERALLY so it's impossible to ignore... how I wish I could, but other than those, yes, I just can't see it, it's to unbearable, especially right now...

Man, using the internet on these things is truly difficult... I will explain later.

I appreciate the responses...

Back to the 9.11 hearings... this will never end...

PreMier · 05-18-2004, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr_Snafu

We as individuals cannot change the world anyway....why be concerned....but that does not mean....being aware....

This is so far from the truth, that its disturbing. I am sooo happy that not everyone thinks like this, because if they did the world would be lost. Even helping someone out, helping an animal, saying "thank you" or "I love you" makes a world of difference. Think, if even half of the people on this planet did this how much better of a place this would be.

Little Wing · 05-18-2004, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PreMier
This is so far from the truth, that its disturbing. I am sooo happy that not everyone thinks like this, because if they did the world would be lost. Even helping someone out, helping an animal, saying "thank you" or "I love you" makes a world of difference. Think, if even half of the people on this planet did this how much better of a place this would be.

YES Great answer.

KillerAbz · 05-19-2004, 09:24 AM

Great minds seem to think alike?

But man, I wish there were more of these minds around right now... not nearly enough...

P.S. 11:23 am and my left leg (I write about this a lot) is in so much pain now, wow, it's incredible... no idea what it is, but thank god I am back sitting... lol.

KillerAbz · 05-21-2004, 06:21 AM

- BUMP FOR THE CAUSE -

05-17-2004, 10:17 AM	#1
KillerAbz Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: No place a true "home" yet, still searching... Posts: 173 Photos: 7	Am I the only one FEELING all of this? BODYBUILDING SUPPLEMENTS High Quality Supplements For Bodybuilders and Athletes. www.ironmaglabs.com I hope you don't mind I write this here... I am keeping a little journal here as well over in the journal section, but I thought a lot of people since this is obviously on many minds now would be curious to read it if they miss it over there, so for that I hope it's alright... For me also, I'd be curious as to what people think... or not... in truth I am at a loss for words, yet, here I am writing something down... It started like this... I can't be the only one who is feeling the sickness and blackness of what's happened to this world. Again, what's being broadcast is always (and I hate to say it like this) the tip of the iceberg in the sense that whatever can evoke the most emotion, controversy, confusion, or uproar, goes straight to the eyes and ears and sadly in my case, hearts of those who are on the other end. This is not simply an observer account. I have had people emailing me letters from Iraq who are over there "fighting" for months now, ever since I tuned in months back and saw those bright neon green lights showcasing the explosions. My heart stopped, and again, I got angry at myself because it's not enough to just sit there and turn your head, shut off the television, and go about your life. Millions do, but I can't, I never could. We have gotten to a point where everything is so sad, so dark, so scary, that the only way that we (and when I say we I mean HUMAN BEINGS) know how to dig ourselves out of confusion, is through violence and redeption... Sadly, I don't think there will ever be a time where no matter what the difference, what the objection, what the argument, all resolutions will be agreed upon through talks, chats, peace, games, etc. it's just not going to happen, and it hurts me to say that. BUT, that doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to make sure at least some of this darkness sees patches of light as long as it still CAN SEE... You know, as I was sitting in the store the other day and just reading, flipping through books, I always go for the glossy pages for the pictures first, I know lots of people are like this, I again picked up another book that Princess Diana's former "rock" wrote after she had died. There was a lot in that book that made me think, that made me realize just how fleeting time is and how once something bad happens, seemingly all people have to hang onto are what you left behind during the time you were hear. In her case, it was a lot of letters, A LOT OF LETTERS, a lot of personal little nik naks, and a lot symbols of times or things or people whom had touched her. I am very much like that in the sense that no matter how badly I may be hurting inside right now in my heart, and fighting so hard to finally know freedom, I am clinging onto photographs of people whom even if they are gone now and moved on with their life, at one point offered me some compassion, understanding, or love... because it means the world to me. The smallest things do, and I don't need an epic tragedy or event to realize that. Again, I am certain this will all come across as pure idealistic fantasy, some naive little 22 year old in New Jersey now finding comfort and understanding from a woman who has since taken her trip to her next life which sadly had to end so harshly... but, it's the truth. When you have never known the true concept of family, your instincts gravitate and force you to approach and treasure everything you come across and step into as something you choose to hold dear and value like a nothing else. It's also I think why helping animals, and dreaming of building the worlds biggest sanctuary where I can just invite all the dogs and aniamls in the streets to come and live is something that never seems anything short of a perfectly attainable reality... Noah's Ark for me is something that I find sanctuary in, seeing kinds in hospitals and bringing little Mickey Mouses' for them to smile and play, seeing dogs in those rusted cages with red dots signaling they are to be killed by noon and DOING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING I can to never allow that to happen no matter how silly or out of it I seem, is what I know I am meant to do. I am about to put up some photographs at my website -> http://www.jamieleigh.net showing the pictures of my chest after the surgeries. No big deal at all for me... in fact, I forget they are even there. They should go up tonight, I must work hard to make sure I do it... I will take a bit of a break now. If you love someone, call them and tell that TODAY... don't wait, write them a letter EVEN IF YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THEY WILL NEVER WRITE YOU BACK nor acknowledge they got your letter or words, do it anyhow.... it may not be a catharsis and you may not hear some angel humming above your head when you do something so out of the ordinary like that, but I think for me, those small things are the things that we are lacking right now, now then things are so scary... I think it would be nice and they will smile... just please, don't expect anything in return. I have always believed that silence is one of the best blessings you can get when someone has gotten your words because it means they tooks them straight to heart and not to mouth where words simply would get in the way.... I'll be back... xo jamie leigh http://www.jamieleigh.net Email: jamieleighdotnet@hotmail.com AIM: xanAmericanGrrlx
	Jamie Leigh http://www.jamieleigh.net Write me at jamieleighdotnet@hotmail.com "Nothing gives me more pleasure now than being able to love and help those in our society who are vulnerable. If I can contribute a little something, then I am more than content." http://www.jamieleigh.net/new2.jpg

05-17-2004, 10:58 AM	#3
Vieope Monochromatic Bunny Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: drinking coffee.. Posts: 14,788 Photos: 10	Every generation goes through the same thing, the world is not ending or it is worse than before. The truth is that you are getting older and your life is ending. The world is fine. Sorry for this post.
	FURtherness

05-17-2004, 12:51 PM	#5
Dale Mabry Moderator Moderator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Elsewhere Posts: 13,675 Photos: 10	My point was that if you are treating them like someone you love you shouldn't have to tell them that, they should already know. Actions speak louder than words...
	If sense were common, everyone would have it. 4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

05-18-2004, 10:19 AM	#11
greekblondechic I'm special :) Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 7,792	The news is too disturbing to watch..
	I can do it I WILL be a size 5.

05-18-2004, 10:36 AM	#12
KillerAbz Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: No place a true "home" yet, still searching... Posts: 173 Photos: 7	Cleary you are judging me on something I am still lost on Dale, so we will just agree to disagree... For those who said just don't watch it, I couldn't agree more, YET, YET (as is ironically right now as I sit here) some of the biggest news stories I have been witness to LITERALLY so it's impossible to ignore... how I wish I could, but other than those, yes, I just can't see it, it's to unbearable, especially right now... Man, using the internet on these things is truly difficult... I will explain later. I appreciate the responses... Back to the 9.11 hearings... this will never end...
	Jamie Leigh http://www.jamieleigh.net Write me at jamieleighdotnet@hotmail.com "Nothing gives me more pleasure now than being able to love and help those in our society who are vulnerable. If I can contribute a little something, then I am more than content." http://www.jamieleigh.net/new2.jpg

05-18-2004, 09:59 AM	#10
Big Smoothy Here Now Elite Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: US Posts: 2,520	Stay away from the news coverage....the images and over-simplified and audience instulting gimmick of the local news, CNN, MSNBC, FOX, and the rest. Reading for fun, sports, working out, telling jokes, hanging with friends, or whatever is better. We as individuals cannot change the world anyway....why be concerned....but that does not mean....being aware....

05-19-2004, 09:24 AM	#15
KillerAbz Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: No place a true "home" yet, still searching... Posts: 173 Photos: 7	Great minds seem to think alike? But man, I wish there were more of these minds around right now... not nearly enough... P.S. 11:23 am and my left leg (I write about this a lot) is in so much pain now, wow, it's incredible... no idea what it is, but thank god I am back sitting... lol.
	Jamie Leigh http://www.jamieleigh.net Write me at jamieleighdotnet@hotmail.com "Nothing gives me more pleasure now than being able to love and help those in our society who are vulnerable. If I can contribute a little something, then I am more than content." http://www.jamieleigh.net/new2.jpg

05-21-2004, 06:21 AM	#16
KillerAbz Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: No place a true "home" yet, still searching... Posts: 173 Photos: 7	- BUMP FOR THE CAUSE -
	Jamie Leigh http://www.jamieleigh.net Write me at jamieleighdotnet@hotmail.com "Nothing gives me more pleasure now than being able to love and help those in our society who are vulnerable. If I can contribute a little something, then I am more than content." http://www.jamieleigh.net/new2.jpg

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