bandaidwoman

The other prisoners

Most of the coverage of abuse at Abu Ghraib has focused on male detainees. But what of the five women held in the jail, and the scores elsewhere in Iraq? Luke Harding reports

Thursday May 20, 2004
The Guardian

The scandal at Abu Ghraib prison was first exposed not by a digital photograph but by a letter. In December 2003, a woman prisoner inside the jail west of Baghdad managed to smuggle out a note. Its contents were so shocking that, at first, Amal Kadham Swadi and the other Iraqi women lawyers who had been trying to gain access to the US jail found them hard to believe.

The note claimed that US guards had been raping women detainees, who were, and are, in a small minority at Abu Ghraib. Several of the women were now pregnant, it added. The women had been forced to strip naked in front of men, it said. The note urged the Iraqi resistance to bomb the jail to spare the women further shame.

Late last year, Swadi, one of seven female lawyers now representing women detainees in Abu Ghraib, began to piece together a picture of systemic abuse and torture perpetrated by US guards against Iraqi women held in detention without charge. This was not only true of Abu Ghraib, she discovered, but was, as she put it, "happening all across Iraq".

In November last year, Swadi visited a woman detainee at a US military base at al-Kharkh, a former police compound in Baghdad. "She was the only woman who would talk about her case. She was crying. She told us she had been raped," Swadi says. "Several American soldiers had raped her. She had tried to fight them off and they had hurt her arm. She showed us the stitches. She told us, 'We have daughters and husbands. For God's sake don't tell anyone about this.'"

Astonishingly, the secret inquiry launched by the US military in January, headed by Major General Antonio Taguba, has confirmed that the letter smuggled out of Abu Ghraib by a woman known only as "Noor" was entirely and devastatingly accurate. While most of the focus since the scandal broke three weeks ago has been on the abuse of men, and on their sexual humilation in front of US women soldiers, there is now incontrovertible proof that women detainees - who form a small but unknown proportion of the 40,000 people in US custody since last year's invasion - have also been abused. Nobody appears to know how many. But among the 1,800 digital photographs taken by US guards inside Abu Ghraib there are, according to Taguba's report, images of a US military policeman "having sex" with an Iraqi woman.

Taguba discovered that guards have also videotaped and photographed naked female detainees. The Bush administration has refused to release other photographs of Iraqi women forced at gunpoint to bare their breasts (although it has shown them to Congress) - ostensibly to prevent attacks on US soldiers in Iraq, but in reality, one suspects, to prevent further domestic embarrassment.

Earlier this month it emerged that an Iraqi woman in her 70s had been harnessed and ridden like a donkey at Abu Ghraib and another coalition detention centre after being arrested last July. Labour MP Ann Clwyd, who investigated the case and found it to be true, said, "She was held for about six weeks without charge. During that time she was insulted and told she was a donkey."

In Iraq, the existence of photographs of women detainees being abused has provoked revulsion and outrage, but little surprise. Some of the women involved may since have disappeared, according to human rights activists. Professor Huda Shaker al-Nuaimi, a political scientist at Baghdad University who is researching the subject for Amnesty International, says she thinks "Noor" is now dead. "We believe she was raped and that she was pregnant by a US guard. After her release from Abu Ghraib, I went to her house. The neighbours said her family had moved away. I believe she has been killed."

Honour killings are not unusual in Islamic society, where rape is often equated with shame and where the stigma of being raped by an American soldier would, according to one Islamic cleric, be "unbearable". The prospects for rape victims in Iraq are grave; it is hardly surprising that no women have so far come forward to talk about their experiences in US-run jails where abuse was rife until early January.

One of the most depressing aspects of the saga is that, unaccountably, the US military continues to hold five women in solitary confinement at Abu Ghraib, in cells 2.5m (8ft) long by 1.5m (5ft) wide. Last week, the military escorted a small group of journalists around the camp, where hundreds of relatives gather every day in a dusty car park in the hope of news.

The prison is protected by guard towers, an outer fence topped with razor wire, and blast walls. Inside, more than 3,000 Iraqi men are kept in vast open courtyards, in communal brown tents exposed to dust and sun. (Last month, nearly 30 detainees were killed in two separate mortar attacks on the prison; about a dozen survivors are still in the hospital wing, shackled to their beds with leather belts.) As our bus pulled up, the men ran towards the razor wire. They unfurled banners and T-shirts that read: "Why are we here?" "When are you going to do something about this scandal?" "We cannot talk freely."

The women, however, are kept in another part of the prison, cellblock 1A, together with 19 "high-value" male detainees. It is inside this olive-painted block, which leads into a courtyard of shimmering green saysaban trees and pink flowering shrubs, that the notorious photographs of US troops humiliating Iraqi prisoners were taken, many of them on the same day, November 8 2003. A wooden interrogation shed is a short stroll away. As we arrived at the cellblock, the women shouted to us through the bars. An Iraqi journalist tried to talk to them; a female US soldier interrupted and pushed him away. The windows of the women's cells have been boarded up; birds nest in the outside drainpipe. Captain Dave Quantock, now in charge of prisoner detention at Abu Ghraib, confirmed that the women prisoners are in solitary confinement for 23 hours a day. They have no entertainment; they do have a Koran.

Since the scandal first emerged there is general agreement that conditions at Abu Ghraib have improved. A new, superior catering company now provides the inmates' food, and all the guards involved in the original allegations of abuse have left.

Nevertheless, there remain extremely troubling questions as to why these women came to be here. Like other Iraqi prisoners, all five are classified as "security detainees" - a term invented by the Bush administration to justify the indefinite detention of prisoners without charge or legal access, as part of the war on terror. US military officials will only say that they are suspected of "anti-coalition activities".

Two of the women are the wives of high-ranking and absconding Ba'ath party members; two are accused of financing the resistance; and one allegedly had a relationship with the former head of Iraq's secret police, the Mukhabarat. The women, in their 40s and 50s, come from Kirkuk and Baghdad; none has seen their families or children since their arrest earlier this year.

According to Swadi, who managed to visit Abu Ghraib in late March, the allegations against the women are "absurd". "One of them is supposed to be the mistress of the former director of the Mukhabarat. In fact, she's a widow who used to own a small shop. She also worked as a taxi driver, ferrying children to and from kindergarten. If she really had a relationship with the director of the Mukhabarat, she would scarcely be running a kiosk. These are baseless charges," she adds angrily. "She is the only person who can provide for her children."

The women appear to have been arrested in violation of international law - not because of anything they have done, but merely because of who they are married to, and their potential intelligence value. US officials have previously acknowledged detaining Iraqi women in the hope of convincing male relatives to provide information; when US soldiers raid a house and fail to find a male suspect, they will frequently take away his wife or daughter instead.

The International Committee of the Red Cross, whose devastating report on human rights abuses of Iraqi prisoners was delivered to the government in February but failed to ring alarm bells, says the problem lies with the system. "It is an absence of judicial guarantees," says Nada Doumani, spokesperson for the ICRC. "The system is not fair, precise or properly defined."

During her visit to Abu Ghraib in March, one of the prisoners told Swadi that she had been forced to undress in front of US soldiers. "The Iraqi translator turned his head in embarrassment," she said. The release of detainees, meanwhile, appears to be entirely arbitrary: three weeks ago one woman prisoner who spoke fluent English and who had been telling her guards that she would sue them was suddenly released. "They got fed up with her," another lawyer, Amal Alrawi, says.

Last Friday, about 300 male prisoners were freed from Abu Ghraib, the first detainees to be released since the abuse scandal first broke. A further 475 are due to be released tomorrow, although it is not clear if any of the women will be among them. General Geoffery Miller, who is responsible for overhauling US military jails in Iraq, has promised to release 1,800 prisoners across Iraq "within 45 days". Some 2,000 are likely to remain behind bars, he says. Iraqi lawyers and officials aredemanding that the US military hands the prisons over to Iraqi management on June 30, when the coalition transfers limited powers to a UN-appointed caretaker Iraqi government. Last week, Miller said "negotiations" with Iraqi officials were ongoing.

Relatives who gathered outside Abu Ghraib last Friday said it was common knowledge that women had been abused inside the jail. Hamid Abdul Hussein, 40, who was there hoping to see his brother Jabar freed, said former detainees who had returned to their home town of Mamudiya reported that several women had been raped. "We've know this for months," he said. "We also heard that some women committed suicide."

While the abuse may have stopped, the US military appears to have learned nothing from the experience. Swadi says that when she last tried to visit the women at Abu Ghraib, "The US guards refused to let us in. When we complained, they threatened to arrest us."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/women/sto...1220673,00.html

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Rich46yo

""""""""While the abuse may have stopped, the US military appears to have learned nothing from the experience. Swadi says that when she last tried to visit the women at Abu Ghraib, "The US guards refused to let us in. When we complained, they threatened to arrest us."""""""""

Golly bandaid. Maybe we ought to just release them all. YaKnow, give them all hundred dollar bills on their way out, hand them AK-47s to shoot our troops again, maybe even link cards and US citizenship. Hell, I'll even let em sleep with my sister. Maybe we can reform these terrorists like we do our own criminals, get em jobs,pay for their lawyers, and give em foot rubs, award them huge settlements.

THEN, to be more politically correct, we can spit on our returning troops and call em all a bunch of criminals. Throw in a few flag burnings,toss manure at the cops, and have a few riots.

Boy you just made me feel so guilty to be an American............take care.............Rich

"Death to Tyrants"!

Little Wing

boy Rich you REALLY don't like mondays and rain....

Dale Mabry

I'm all about tossing manure at the cops, except dg of course.

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

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bandaidwoman

These women were for the most part not terrorists, arrested by virtue of their relationship to some men, all apparently in violation of international law. There was no concrete proof of their compliancy with terrorists, nor were bombs found strapped to their bodies, no reports of plying guns out of their hands etc. ......they did not deserve to be raped. None of them had been convicted of terroristic activities. You really did have a bad day Rich46.

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Rich46yo

""""""""boy Rich you REALLY don't like mondays and rain...."""""""

Ah Rock, Im a pussycat at heart. Im just going into a little overload with some of the homegrown mush-heads we have in the good ole US-of-A . Were a Nation at war, and Im fiercely protective of it and our troops. I make no apologies for it either. Look at it from my point of view. I spent almost two years under arms in the MidEast. If you think your getting the "real story" from press reports your living in dreamland.

Dale Mabry is you threw shit at me I'd knock you upside the head so hard your knappy hair would curl up into a "natural". Im just kidding tho kid. I think your alright.

Bandaid my thinly veiled sarcasm was framed in such a way to make a point. How do you know they "arent terrorists",or" "arent aiding and harboring terrorists"? Did the U.N. tell you they werent? How about the Red Crescant society? Did you hear it on Al Jazeera? Maybe Osama himself called you on your cell and told you they were innocent. Just cause they say they were raped you take it as "cause celeb" they were indeed raped. and you feel that way because it fits into your own personal,petty,liberal, political world view.

These guys and gals of ours are in a shooting war over there. If you cant understand that then at least admit you cant. You are not a jury of their peers cause youv never been in battle, never been in a gunfight, never been shot at or watched a buddy die, and never served your country. Instead like most liberals have just "taken" from it. ""These women were for the most part not terrorists"". For the most part? What is that like a handgrenade almost going off? We should let "everyone" go because "for the most part" they arent terrorists? Well what "part" of them actually are terrorists?

And the day you have comforted more rape victims, and hunted down and locked up more rapists then I you can lecture me about rape ok? Any breakdown of military discipline cant be tolerated. Most of all rape. But an allegation is an allegation. Its very possable these woman are terrorists and are making these allegations in order to inflame the populace against the Americans who are actually trying to help them.

My day is going just fine thank you. Much better then they went when I wore the uniform in various muslim dictatorships, when I visited Americans in THEIR jails and they told me about the constant beatings and torture. I hope Bush kept my name off his apology to these various Arab dictatorships,theocracys,terrorist supporting/harboring/rascist/fascist shitholes.

The only "Im sorry" we owe these monsters should be written on a 2,000 lb GBU thats "rideing the light" into their presidential palaces. Theres nothing wrong with being a humanitarian Bandaid. As long as you dont mix up to much "mush-headedness" with it..................take care.........Rich

"Death to Tyrants"!

Dale Mabry

Hey rich, my hair isn't nappy.

I hear what you are saying, politics brings it out in folk. I imagine we would slug back a few brews and talk about other things in real life.

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

bandaidwoman

You should be careful how you paintbrush my political views just because I post a article on rape. I support our troops in Iraq and believe (for other reasons than pushing the impossible agenda of democracy) that we need to stay and finish the job, (see my post in watching Bush Free Fall).

I treat rape victims and know that their testimonies historically get brushed off as lies (despite physical evidence of their damage during my ER exams and sperm samples that I have taken.) Unlike the rape victims in this country, these women in particular have everything to lose and nothing to gain by admitting to being rape, especially since they will never go back to a life that accepts them....alive. They have no secondary agenda that I can see. Can this be propaganda? Of course, but its out there and the investigations are continuing. Unfortunately, we may never prove their cases because we won't have any physical evidence (the vagina efficiently rids itself of sperm in 48 hours ) , vaginal abrasians will heal and the only proof may be an inadvertant pregnancy.

Both parents, including my mom, were Air America operatives in Indochina until 1976. Both involved in freeing POWs as well as getting people out during POL POT genocides etc. We grew up in the midst of all the post war crap that went on I have seen war, death, and suffering (albeit through the eyes of a child) and remember starving for much of my life when my dad was a POW for 6 years (eurasian children are animals and the mother of them, even worse...whores and sluts). I still lived a good life thanks to the strength and intelligence of mom.


So no, I am not a soldier, although I engage in my own warfare 90 hours a week in the hospital emergency room and I take rape victim's testimonies and trauma very seriously (both men and women rape victimS) so this article hits home for me in much the same way it seems to have struck a defensive chord in yourself.

The article was posted to stand by itself. (offer a different look other than the psycological debasement of male islamic pride which may or may not be defended as a means of obtaining information in war time.) Just trying to show that "real" crimes rather than just the ugly business of war time interrogation or psycological warfare may be at play here as well.

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Rich46yo

"""" Unlike the rape victims in this country, these women in particular have everything to lose and nothing to gain by admitting to being rape, especially since they will never go back to a life that accepts them....alive. They have no secondary agenda that I can see. Can this be propaganda? Of course, but its out there and the investigations are continuing. Unfortunately, we may never prove their cases because we won't have any physical evidence (the vagina efficiently rids itself of sperm in 48 hours ) , vaginal abrasians will heal and the only proof may be an inadvertant pregnancy. """"""

How can you "see it" bandaid? You are here and they are "there". I was also a military policeman for 4 years. If you think "rape" isnt treated seriously in the US military you are sorely mistaken. Youv been around and know "whats what". You know better then to blindl believe all this stuff.

If you want to hear "horror storys" concerning woman I cant tell you how they are treated in countrys like Iraq. In Arab countrys they are little more then livestock. There is no concept of "rape" after marriage. Woman have very few, if any, rights. In some of these places a husband can legally kill them at his whim. I guess they left that out of your article. I know because Ive been there.

Your a nurse and thats close enough to a soldier to have my respect. But you have to start balanceing all this crap coming out of that country. We are at war, and war itself is an atrocity. We are fighting an enemy that will kill us all if given the chance. We have to stand together and back our troops and our leaders with the terrible decisions that will be coming up.

This war is far from over. Its inevitable that America is going to be hit by another terrorist attack. It might even involve WMDs. We may be forced to anhilate entire citys, as weve had to before. The threat of WMDs in the hands of rouge nations and terrorists is the greatest threat humankind has ever faced.

So keep things in proper perspective. We arent going to win this thing useing Marquis of Qeensberry rules..................take care of yourself..............Rich

"Death to Tyrants"!

bandaidwoman

as a feminist, I am well aware of these social atrocities these women undergo in these countries. I donate and belong to alot of feminist organizations that continue the fight against such treatment and debasement of women. You and I definately agree on that one. I was railing against the Taliban long before 9-11 but our feminist organization fell on deaf ears until 9-11. Our medical school was sending female doctors to Afganistan in 1994 (One of them was Tom Brokaw's daughter) since the Taliban did not allow women to be seen by male physicians and no woman coould continue to be a physician At least we agree on that one.

Once again, the article was posted to stand on its own. Bad things happen during war and rape in one of our prisons by a supposedly more "civil" society may be one of the consequences, but it shouldn't. Some of these or maybe even many of these prisoners still were not combatants in the classic sense. Quite a few were just breaking local laws etc. The International Red Cross attests to such and I don't think they are exactly propaganda tools. It doesn't really matter that their men treat them far worse, many of these women are accorded alot of respect depending on the individual (I know female Iraquis and Iranians although they happen to be professionals that were educated here).


I'm not advocating tea and crumpets when dealing with enemy combatant soldiers tryiing to take your life (in which case, anything goes) , but the stories suggest quite a few were innocent civilians and do not deserve this at all.


I hope I haven't lost your respect but I'm not a nurse.

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maniclion

bandaidwoman I Love You! Aren't you a Dr.?

Little Wing

Okay Maniclion that's too weird , my Leo daughter constantly reads my mind n I was just going to write "Bandaidwoman I love you."

BAW don't let Rich stop you from posting things like this. I think you are brilliant woman and your posts are some of the best on the forum, thank you.

and Rich why should I a civilian with civilian sesitivities and sensibilities have to accept and stand behind an American soldier who commits crimes when his own fellow soldiers first of all turned him (them) in and secondly are letting it be known that they too detest the misbehavior of the few and are asking us to not judge all soldiers by the ones they too are ashamed of?

Why don't you stand behind what is best in our military and join the majority of American soldiers who act like men at war and not jump up and down supporting criminals. There is no question as to what happened at Abu Ghraib and if it was okay people wouldn't be facing court martial. There were 1,800 photographs of which one of the soldiers involved assured us the public has not seen the worst of. Give it a rest .

nikegurl

couldn't have said it better. thank you for being here BAW.

Tomorrow may be the best day of your life.

Or not.

Rich46yo

"""""So no, I am not a soldier, although I engage in my own warfare 90 hours a week in the hospital emergency room and I take rape victim's testimonies and trauma very seriously """""

+

The name "Bandaid woman" = nurse right? Or are you a doctor? And yes you still have my respect. Anyone that can stand toe to toe with me in a Political debate is OK in my book. I dont want you to let Rich stop you from posting either. I just hope maybe you learned something from the many trials and travels Ive had in my life. And I got news for you, woman are treated like shit in every Arab/Muslim country. Not just Afghanistan.

Personaly, and one of the main reasons Ive always thought the United Nations was a cesspool of a whorehouse, I dont think America should have any "relations" with these shitholes that brutalize their people as a matter of course. We shouldnt have anything to do with the UN, cause thats where these Dictatorships have an official forumn to spread their disinformation. If a country doesnt have Democratic values, if their Govt.,Police, and Military, isnt answerable to the people. We shouldnt even be talking to them!!!!! Funny how these tyrants, and their forumn the UN, have so much ability to influence Liberal Americans thru their misinformation campaigns. Its just fascinating how easily, supposedly educated Yanks, are manipulated, and so much self loathing is promoted, by the Liberal, anti-American, media machine. Most of all when a Republican is in office. Now, "your poster boy", John Kerry is playing the big war hero. Of course that can change with the political winds. Mushhead just might go back to burning American flags with the hippies again.

Of course nevermind that he only spent 4 months in Vietnam, saw only a little bit of action, and skipped out on his comrades as soon as he got a little scratch big enough for him to use his Political phone call to get on the first plane back to the states. "And you wonder why he wont release his military medical records"? Then he goes on his flag burning tour calling ALL his fellow Vietnam vets war criminals, tho he himself admits he never saw such a war crime in his "extremely short" combat tour. I guess he just saw them in a Oliver Stone movie.

And Rock what in hell are you talking about? What are you talking about?????

""""""and Rich why should I a civilian with civilian sesitivities and sensibilities have to accept and stand behind an American soldier who commits crimes when his own fellow soldiers first of all turned him (them) in and secondly are letting it be known that they too detest the misbehavior of the few and are asking us to not judge all soldiers by the ones they too are ashamed of?

Why don't you stand behind what is best in our military and join the majority of American soldiers who act like men at war and not jump up and down supporting criminals. There is no question as to what happened at Abu Ghraib and if it was okay people wouldn't be facing court martial. There were 1,800 photographs of which one of the soldiers involved assured us the public has not seen the worst of. Give it a rest .""""""""

Soldiers, and veterans, never expect someone like you to stand behind us pal. And you dont "know what happened" at that prison. Untill the trials are finished you dont know shit. If you can give OJ Simspson the benifit of the doubt then you can give it to a soldier whos risking his life for his country. People are innocent until proven guilty, and thats all Americans. Not just downtroddin/oppressed minorities. Soldiers and policeman are supposed to have rights too. Not that they are going to get a fair trial anyway, not with all the Liberal mush-heads screaming for their heads. I dont "stand behind" any criminals kid, how old are you???

YaKnow when I see two like you and the bandaid lady, and theres a lot more then you two, I start to seriously fear for the future of this country. Im beginning to have serious doubts we can win this war on terrorism. I just generally see a lack of moral fiber, toughness, and martial spirit amongst this current generation, most of all the draft age young. I havnt even met another military veteran in this forumn. I mean whats that tell you?

Were not going to lose this war. But we arent going to win it either...............take care...............Rich

"Death to Tyrants"!

Dale Mabry

A)We can't win the war on terrorism, you are right. But that I sbecause we went into it without a plan. Syria and N. Korea should have been 1st on the target, not Iraq.

B)In Rich's defense, if there were pics of OJ killing his wife, I bet he still would have gotten off.

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

Sean0621

Come on man you're not the only one in the military here, I think alot of us just like to stay out of the political arguments, but for the most part you say what I feel, most of the guys in my unit feel the same way, but I mean you can argue forever, I've given up on the media, I don't watch the news anymore, cuz there's no point, they refuse to show any good news, all I see is debates much like this one and I've had enough, let them argue, I just keep my head down and do my job, I'm not gonna let this whole situation eat at me, day in day out, I have to go out there in the winter time, and I'll do all I can while I'm there, meaning I'm gonna do my damn job regardless. Listening to all this arguing just depresses me, so I block it out, the only one's that I'll argue with on this subject are other marines...period. Anyways that's my 2 cents and semper fi rich

"The First Rule of Fight Club is, You do not talk about Fight Club."

bandaidwoman

I think part of this whole thread is the fact that many, such as Rich, are upset over the media's obvious inherent biases and misinformation. (Wether our topic is or not, I concede that only time will tell so we will let time decide for us).

Like you Rich, I feel they do alot of disservice misinforming as well as informing. ( I can't tell you how they butcher medical clinical trials and scare the shit out of people or falsely reassure people about certain drugs or diseases so we both can agree on how pitiful our sensatiionalistic media is.)

Wether that bias is liberal or not, both sides will argue the other side. I believe the southern media (especially the newspapers) are very conservatively biased but that is my opinion.

Accuracy in Media claims the the news media are biased toward liberal politics.

Fairness & Accuracy in Media claims the the news media are biased toward conservative politics.

Supporters of these views see one group as right and the other as wrong. Yes, AIM and FAIR each point out coverage that appears to bolster their various claims.

At times, the media do seem to be biased one way or the other. The AIM and FAIR web sites are full of " material to help hapless Americans avoid the cognitive ravages of the "evil" conservatives or the "slandering" liberals and their media lackeys." I think the average American is quite capable of identifying problems with news coverage.

The real issue here in is the media's efforts to protect itself in changing political climates, even if it means looking "liberal" or conservative.

In other words, I don't think media is biased either way (depending on the issue it can look one way or the other) but they will do whatever makes them look good and keep the bottom line.....and that is what hurts all of us. I'm totally with you on this as well.

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maniclion

I was in the Navy in comms, I had inside scoop on alot of Intel I know that alot doesn't make it past "Eyes Only" status.

I just want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Rich46yo

""Come on man you're not the only one in the military here""

Outstanding. I dont feel as lonely. But its the responsability of every sailor,marine,soldier, and airman, both active and veteran, to stand behind our own. We know the "truth" so why should we by shy about saying it? The US military is the most prefessional and disciplined organization theres ever been. And the reason civilians arent dieing "here" is because they are fighting "there".

I make no apologys for defending "them". To wear the uniform of the American military is the finest honor a young American can ever have.

And Bandaid woman you are a pretty thoughtful and classy lady. If I came on a little to strong I apologize......................................tak e care..............Rich

"Death to Tyrants"!

Sean0621

Damn right man, I'm motivated now, good timing too, I'm in the middle of Gopro's shock week right now and it's kicking my ass, I needed some good motivation.

"The First Rule of Fight Club is, You do not talk about Fight Club."

Little Wing