Thread: How to Speak about Men and Women And Be Politically Correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1) She is not a BABE or a CHICK - she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2) She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3) She is not EASY - she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4) She is not DUMB - she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5) She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6) She is not an AIRHEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7) She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8) She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9) She does not NAG YOU - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10) She is not a SLUT - she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11) She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - she is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12) She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - she is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

13) He does not have a BEER GUT - he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY

14) He is not a BAD DANCER - he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

15) He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

16) He is not BALDING - he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

17) He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

18) He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - he becomes ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL.

19) He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - he develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

20) He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - he has SWINE EMPATHY.

21) He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

22) He is not HORNY - he is SEXUALLY FOCUSED

Originally Posted by LazyByNature

Am I reading these wrong? Should the "not" be removed from each statement?

5) She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

But if she has BEEN AROUND then she would have been previously enjoyed. If she hasn't been around, she wouldn't have been enjoyed.

The other way to word that is like this:

It's not: She has BEEN AROUND
It's: She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

That's the way to read it.