Thread: the personals dictionary

don't know if this has been posted before:


DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
> DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
> 40-ish.............................................49
> Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
> Athletic......................................No tits
> Average looking....................Ugly
> Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
> Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
> Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist.......................................... Fat
> Free spirit....................................Junkie
> Friendship first..........................Former slut
> Fun..........................................Annoy ing
> New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places
> Old-fashioned.............................No BJs
> Open-minded.................................Desperate
> Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
> Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Professional....................................Bi tch
> Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
> Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
> WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
> 1. Yes = No
> 2. No = Yes
> 3. Maybe = No
> 4. We need = I want..
> 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
> 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?
>MEN'S ENGLISH:
> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> 3. I am tired = I am tired
> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> 5. I love you = Let's have sex now
> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Great stuff!