Crono1000

I've always accepted the fact that I am always going to hate my friends.

As long as I've had a group of friends, I've always hated them. As far back as I can remember, I've never liked even my best friends. I just accepted it, figuring either I have a strange mechanism (which I often do), that these other individuals have major character flaws (which they often do), or that this is just a rule of life- and I will never like my friends.

This past summer I've returned from college and been exposed to the horrors of being a "child" at home again under someone elses rule, the torture of "mother in law"-dom for a solid week at a trip to Myrtle Beach where nagging was more common than trips to the ocean, and the temporary summer seperation from tit.

So after all this bitching about other people's annoyances, I have more.

Out of my whole crew, I'm the only one of us that's left home, gone to college, and lived on my own. The exception is one that went to the military, but his return seems to have brought him back more childish than before- he hasn't really seemed all that affected as expected by this experience. His exposure to more people has brought him back thinking he has to prove how much he's changed, whereas really he's just louder and more abnoxious, whereas he was once the most sensable out of all of us.

The rest have moved nowhere it seems. and this places me in a role feeling like I'm babysitting constantly. Staying in this small town of a population of 2,000, there's not much room for growing. They still surround themselves with immature high school kids, one in particular is still dating a 16 year old (and thinks he's the SHIT for it- this new surge of confidence he gets from having a girlfriend makes him arrogant and loves to show how "comfortable" he is around women now. We went to Hooters, and he kept saying "Damn our waitress wants me" I explained, "No, she wants your TIP!" Gawd imagine taking this little loser to a strip club "Dyude every stripper in here is checking me out")

They take my shit without asking, even destroy each others belongings(although I stand up for my own) for what the hell reason. They HAVE to be constantly entertained or else they get bored and jumpy- like a young child with too much sugar past their bedtime. They have the attention span of a goldfish.

They absolutely CAN NOT stop cussing/farting/burping when my mother's home.

If it were up to them, they would stay at my place every single night staying awake until 6 AM, eating out of my fridge, and never leave my house. This would give me no time for tit or for my mother or working for the summer or my demanding lifestyle taking care of my birds (if you have birds, you understand how demanding they can be) or maybe just doing things I enjoy- reading, SLEEPING!!!, etc. They are so damn pushy and insistant about things, and I have to fight them off every single damn day.

What further frustrates me is that these guys, as much as I despise them these days, are the least of my priorities, but take up the most of my time and push me away from the ones I care about.

So am I just being anal? Are friends always going to suck? Is there a way to relieve the frustrations, or maybe kill them?

Chain Link

Dont kill them, Thats just what they want you to do! Once they die they can stop living the life of a loser, and they get to f**k you over cuz ur in jail as well.. 2 birds with one stone.

joking.. You need to ditch them.. I would.. You got a cool gf, thats all you really need(for now at least) focus on what you want to do. Crap, Why live if not for happiness? Besides.."You cant fly with the eagles if you're surrounded by turkeys." If you hang out with a bunch of idiots that do nothing with their lives; you're going to end up.. An idiot that does nothing with your life.. Differance between you and them though would be that you realized it and were miserable.

Expand your horizons and all that.. Do the collage thing; find people on your level, Those are the friends you want. 'Course.. If you really do dump em; make sure you think it out well before hand- Cuz you cant really go back afterwards:P

Crono1000

sometimes I wonder if this is exactly their plan just to get at me and piss me off

Crono1000

I can't help but wonder, if I did ditch them, how to do it. I can't exactly call them up with the "It's not you it's me" speech

also, now that I've gotten all this off my chest I'm a bit cooled down a bit. I still hate these guys, but I can't say I hate every friend I've ever had, just always hated whatever my main "clique" at the moment was

for instance, I've worked with people that I absolutely loved, both for their characters and for their friendship. But I haven't kept in touch with them and have no idea how to reach any of them anymore.

I also am very grateful for my many friends here at IM. So I guess I can't say I've always hated my "Friends" because that makes it sound like I hate everyone I ever come across- and that's simply not the case.

Although I don't doubt that IT would raid the fridge if given the chance.

I hope it's needless to say that tit is in a catagory of her own. She is certainly my best friend, and I could never think anything but the absolute best of her.

myCATpowerlifts

no, only the really good ones

get it? ok...maybe not

But i can see your problem here

I got in big fight with my best friend of 5 years and i havent talked to him in about 8 months

Friends are gay, thats why we have imaginary ones....

Little Wing

All my friends are great but they all have other friends that they hate. I hear countless stories about this one n that one n how they did this n that and I have gone out of my way to avoid establishing any kind of bond however trivial with the major players in the endless dramas. They will try to suck you in to their seedy little soap operas but it is surprising the excuses you can create to avoid these people if you just try. Gotta run my dog has a dentists appointment.

"MUSCLE IS TRULY GUARANTEED IF YOU WILL HONESTLY work out to BE YOUR VERY BEST -

GO FOR IT!!! BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!!!!

Take Care, John H."

Mudge

Only when they have a set of killer lips.

Kinesiology Comp Bench
MaxCalc Motivation Bench form Charles Poliquin
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu

Crono1000

this isn't drama. This is them being dicks

myCATpowerlifts

so now youve said
Do friends always suck?
and thne you say this is them being dicks...which is it man??

maniclion

I always took a leadership role with my friends, they would start bickering over what we were going to do or something and I would have to make the decisions. When they fought I had to play the father role and knock them, they always seemed to find my interests more appealing than their own, it was probably my enthusiasm. I tried to uplift them to become the best they could be, they always viewed me as wise and looked to me for advice. Being the big brother to my friends got to be frustrating but I learned to cope, after I moved away and came back to see that they failed to mature in my absence made me feel guilty for leaving them, but like in Good Will Hunting sometimes your friends want what's best for you, especially when you played such a positive role in their lives, you don't have to abandon them just meet them under more mature circumstances, like meet at a bar, club, driving range, etc. instead of hanging at all of the old high school hang-outs.

"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

maniclion

You have to understand that they are trying to suck the experiences you've had out, what you need to do is ignite a spark in them to get away on their own and get their own experiences.

"We are like tenant farmers chopping down the fence around our house for fuel when we should be using Natures inexhaustible sources of energy — sun, wind and tide. ... I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that."
Thomas Edison: In conversation with Henry Ford and Harvey Firestone

V Player

I just gradually stop calling. Hell I dont even call my best friend more than a few times per year.


Yessir the life of a monk is blissfully peaceful in its solitude. I have time to train, practice and play. And thats more than good enough for me.


Of course another way to get rid of them is to take them to a Renneisance Fair and tell them that you're really gonna start getting into that lifestyle.

http://www.thestranglehold.com/images/pix/Batista.jpg
Someday....I will be like you....

mousie

I would just stop returning their calls and most importantly, keep yourself busy. And if they just happen to get in contact with you, tell them that you're busy. Surround yourself with your family and tit...and just have fun. Get out of the house and find things to do. You shouldn't have to spend your summer miserable...and hanging out with people that you don't like. I'm sure they will get the hint if you stop returning their calls.

<8(__)~~~~

Crono1000

I have always been the leader of the group, and never had any problems making the rational desicions and set the pace for them (admittedly, it does get annoying hearing my own jokes/hobbies being reused and then have them claim them, but I think it all comes with the territory)

however, my frustrations with them have made me have a more passive attitude towards decisions. Plus, what with the one mentioned earlier with the 16 year old girlfriend (I caught him in a lie last week when he told someone she was 17, Later I called him on it and he said well she'll be 17 this year. When? I asked to which he replied "in October"- immature right? damn I'm as old as albob then if we can just be any age we will be) he's thinking he's the shiznit and probably is trying to take over my turf- which I would gladly turn over in exchange for my freedom.

greekblondechic

Gradually break away. They are bringing you down. Don't waste your time.

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Crono1000

I never call them. They call me.

The life of solitude really is great. I socialize well with people and people tend to find me welcoming and disarming, but in all truth I'm a loner at heart. A great day for me is just being at home with tit, watching tv, maybe eat out, and just being together. But when it comes to anyone else in my life, I prefer keeping to myself, I just generally don't because that's not truly a healthy lifestyle. That's how you become one of those renaissance guys.

You also reminded me of another big whiny point. They don't like to take care of themselves like I do. With all my time that they take up I have maybe one or two free days to do my routine and work out. They eat constant junk food so I generally don't eat whatever they do. I mean don't get me wrong, they're not fat slobbery (well maybe that one) pigs, we tend to play basketball in the afternoons, but they make up for it with bad diets.

And being as "mimicy" as they are, one of them even said "Yeah I'm eating healthy too"

not but an hour later he bought a box of whoppers and some other candy.

which, sure enough, made him hyper as hell.

I take advantage of every oppurtunity to jog in this great area that I don't have access off-summer, but tha'ts maybe only once a week, and I cut the grass today just for an excuse to get away from them and do some form of exercise.

Crono1000

basically that's what I plan on doing. Monday is tit's birthday, so I'm going to be home available to her all day seeing as how I can't be there personally, and Sunday is just Sunday so I already told the guys I'm busy that day too. Hopefully Tuesday will come and I just won't answer the phone, and then by Wendesday or Thursday they'll get the fucking clue.

this still doesn't remedy the possibility of them just knocking on my door and welcoming themselves inside.

I can't exactly hide my car so they know if I'm home or not.

DAMN LOSER STALKERS!

Crono1000

by the way, thanks everybody for letting me vent out. This is being great therapy and the support is a big help

V Player

Same difference. Gradually stop returning the calls.

You said a mouthfull. By myself I am free to meet who I want, when I want. I go everywhere alone and meet people of many walks of life that enrich my world by their differences. I find that staying with one constant group gets as stale as the same routine month after month. You hit plateaus in friendships just the same as you do in fitness. When by myself I have the luxury of saying yes or no without having to weigh in a group's opinions. I travel, eat out, do and experience anything and everything I want and everywhere along the way I learn somethign new because I dont have the anchor of a closed minded set of individuals grounding me to port.

Same with me and my lady, who also happens to share the same views on life as I do.

LOL, c'mon....thats like saying that everyone that works out will eventually get on roids. We both know thats not true. Everything must be taken in moderation. And on that note, Im not condoning the absolute denial of those friends. Just moderation. To this day I can pick up a phone and call someone and we can pick up where we left off. But they know Im not gonna make a habit of it. Once in a blue moon is good because variety is the spice of life and they only spice most sedentary friends have is sodium and alcahol.

Exactly. Which means they can and will hinder progress when not taken in moderation and shown their place. By that I mean that anyone, friends or family, must be aware of their place in your ecosystem. Some may not like it right away, but its your life after all.
Same here. For most of my friends and family, the new limited time food offer from Taco Bell is considered gourmet eatting. I have precious time to work out what with guitar practice, fight training, catching up on sleep, shopping for healthy eats, pre-preparing meals.....you get the picture. 4 days on for me, pal.

But you know, also with my friends, they constatly scrutinize everything I do. If I have a cheat day and have a Jack in The Box taco or a burger, I dont hear the end of it all day. Fitness mags are called gay mags because they have men with ripped abs on the cover. I also dont smoke or drink so that is another way they get in some jabs. But my favorite has to be when my boss asked me what I squat. I said 300. He said "hell, I do that all day long". I laughed my ass off.



Sorry, I think I got off topic.

http://www.thestranglehold.com/images/pix/Batista.jpg
Someday....I will be like you....

greekblondechic

Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are.

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Crono1000

I'm just glad I'm not the only one with issues, feel free to rant. My thread is your thread.

on a positive note, a neighboring restaurante saw me cutting the grass (which I chose instead of b-ball with the guys) and gave me $20 to mow their lawn too. big day for me

see? I really do benefit by restricting them from my life.

Crono1000

greek are you trying to say something mean?

titanya, IT, albob, metal, CAT, kuso, dero, david, rock, and you are all my friends. You should be able to tell me who I am then, you know all of them to some extent.

I would hardly consider these guys my friends, if friends are limited to people that I can relate to and bond with. That's exactly my problem, I can't relate to these guys at all. I can relate to them if I descend down to their level, but I like the growth that comes with the territory of moving on with life, not clutching to this small town and the comforts of normality. They've gotten custom to this lifestyle and I don't see them ever changing.

so in all aspects I certainly can't relate to them, unless I want to lose everything that I've achieved since I've been gone.

greekblondechic

I'm trying to say, if they don't fit in the schema of who you are and who you want to be, then they probably don't belong in your life. I've had to lose a few "friends" who weren't helping me move in a positive direction. Lose the losers before you lose yourself.

I wasn't trying to be mean. I think you are adorable and a nice guy

I can do it

I WILL be a size 5.

Big Smoothy

No offense, but I've read your entire post, and they sound like total losers.

I went through the same thing. I changed--my best friend didn't. It was so difficult for me to relate to them, and they knew and I knew it.

I went through many similar experiences you are going through. but remember this: don't throw away these friends. As time goes on, you may be able to relate to them better. You are mentally growing and changing and they are not--at this time. Most of them will later. Some won't. But most of them will.

Military men are dumb, stupid animals, to be used as pawns for foreign policy
– Henry Kissinger (January-February 2003 edition of Eagle Newsletter)

Stickboy

If they are true friends, you won't hate them. If they are drinking buddies - you might

Honestly, I would take a bullet for people I call friends. Having said that, I've been lucky to have friends that would do the same for me.

Dale Mabry

Look at the bright side, to them you are prolly the pussy-whipped faggot. Circle of life, ya know.

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

Crono1000

no I only carry that reputation around here

Dale Mabry

Hahahahahaha...

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

MaxMirkin

"Keep your fiends close, and your enemas closer." - ancient Chinese proadjective

The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

Spitfire

I hate most of my friends most of the time... I thought it was just a part of life... Ive learned to just live with it...

little advice have a lot of semi-friends when something goes amis with your 'main' group you have a fall back group to take up you time till you get bored with them and want to go running back to your other friends.
I find this method helps keep my stress down

Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. Abraham Lincoln

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson RIP