Dale Mabry

Dear Such and Such,

I now realize that I was wrong and want you back. I realize that it was inappropriate of me to inquire about what may be infesting your upper colon in the presence of your parental units. It was wrong of me and I intend to cease questioning anything as it pertains to your gastrointestinal tract. I also realize that my comparison of your posterior profile to that of a bovine might have been a little harsh.

I also understand that it is a horrible inconvenience for you to take time out of your day continually testing gravity on the couch and doing research on the television to prepare at least a moderately palatable meal for me. I will take care of it after I get back from my 10 hour work day, trying to make enough money to support your ample shopping habit. I also will no longer bring up said shopping habit and stop inquiring as to why you can't change your body to fit into your old clothes rather than buy new ones. In regards to the toilet seat, I now know that you value your calories too much and will no longer leave it up for you to struggle putting it down.

Now that I have made a few concessions, I see it only fair that you make a few of your own. To steal a line from one of your favorite movies, "You complete me." There are, however, several other things that could be done to help "complete" me.

First, I would appreciate replacement of the items of clothing you spread across the yard in protest of my aforementioned actions. I realize that the economic support for them will be from me, but it is not the money, it is the principle. In reference to the public display you made in front of the neighbors during our tiff, I would appreciate a formal apology in the form of a written letter. Feel free to CC our neighbors and the children riding by on their bikes as you shouted expletives. In addition to this, I would appreciate it if, along with yourself, you brought back the stereo system. As horrible a crime as it is that we are having this little spat, I can't help but feel it an at least equal injustice that the 32" Plasma television not have the proper accompanying audio componentry to "complete" it.

Thank you very much and I look forward to your reply

Dale mabry

If sense were common, everyone would have it.

4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

irontime

Well it is definitely entertaining....is there more to the story we are missing? Fill us in man.

If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself.
- Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870)