Help me come up with a wise-cracking response...

**Crono1000** · 07-09-2004, 10:07 AM

My folks live in South Carolina and I go to school in Florida.

so whenever I come back to SC to visit from school I get comments on how white I am and that I don't have a tan

"You've been in Florida for a year and you don't have a tan?"

Apparently, living in Florida automatically suggests that I live outside, naked.

C'mon, really. Excuse me for taking my classes INDOORS.

I usually respond with a sly "You know they have roofs on our homes there in Florida too," but I don't feel like I'm doing this response enough justice.

And I hear this alot. Especially as critical as my mother is, every time she introduces me to someone her near exact words are "Yeah he studies in Florida," points at my face and says, "Can't you tell?"

So teach me how to be a bigger smart-ass, I need some ideas. I'm sure albobo has some ideas

**tucker01** · 07-09-2004, 10:14 AM

Tell'em you transferred to Canada, we all live in Igloos

**MaxMirkin** · 07-09-2004, 10:19 AM

Tell them your new major, necrophilia, is very time-consuming & requires extensive work underground.

**irontime** · 07-09-2004, 10:22 AM

Just shrug and say that your face is between Titanya's legs too much to get tanned.

**Crono1000** · 07-09-2004, 10:26 AM

Originally Posted by irontime

Just shrug and say that your face is between Titanya's legs too much to get tanned.

so what would explain why my lower half isn't tanned? Ok, I know, that's where your girlfriend is sitting

**irontime** · 07-09-2004, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by Crono1000

so what would explain why my lower half isn't tanned? :

Does your mom point at your penis and say "See how white it is?"

**Crono1000** · 07-09-2004, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by irontime

Does your mom point at your penis and say "See how white it is?"

**Dale Mabry** · 07-09-2004, 10:35 AM

Next time your mom says that, go, "Fuck off bitch, now go get your ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie.

**irontime** · 07-09-2004, 10:41 AM

You forgot 'before I slap you in the face!'

**ALBOB** · 07-09-2004, 10:59 AM

Cronno's mom to friend: "Yeah, he studies in Florida." Points at Cronno's pale face and says, "Can't you tell?"

Cronno to mom's friend: "Yes, I'm studying XXX-rated film production but since our budget doesn't allow for sun screen we have to do all our filming in my room."

**I Are Baboon** · 07-09-2004, 11:00 AM

Originally Posted by Crono1000

My folks live in South Carolina and I go to school in Florida.

I thought you were from Guam or something?

**Crono1000** · 07-09-2004, 11:02 AM

**MaxMirkin** · 07-09-2004, 11:16 AM

"My job at Disney World keeps me in costume all day."
"Really, which character are you?"
"You know that giant Mickey they have walking in the daily parade? "
"Uh-huh."
"Well, you're looking at his left testicle right here!"

**ALBOB** · 07-09-2004, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

I thought you were from Guam or something?

That's his girlfriend Titanya, she's from the slimy depths of hell........................errr, I mean Puerto Rico.

**DimebagDarrell** · 07-09-2004, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by MaxMirkin

Tell them your new major, necrophilia, is very time-consuming & requires extensive work underground.

im sorry, but thats absolutely fucking hillarious!!!

**Mudge** · 07-09-2004, 12:38 PM

Whats the BFD in the first place? Tell your mother to go solve world hunger or something instead of worrying about you having or not having your skin cancer.

Pretty damn superficial IMO.

At least you are in school and not hanging at nude beaches all day. I was born white and I'm still white, thats life.

**maniclion** · 07-09-2004, 05:03 PM

tell them that your lack of melanin increases your chances of melanoma.

I live in Hawaii, when I went back to the mainland I heard the same crap. I just reminded them that they can mock my skin all they wanted cause when I got back to Hawaii I'd think about them freezing in the Sub-Zero winters while I sat on my shady porch sipping a cold lemonade on Christmas Day.

**Hanz29** · 07-09-2004, 05:20 PM

You should come home one day with lots of fake bronzer on----looking horribly nasty

she'll never bug you about your whiteness again

**Mudge** · 07-09-2004, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by Hanz29

You should come home one day with lots of fake bronzer on----looking horribly nasty

Now thats a cool idea

**V Player** · 07-10-2004, 01:31 PM

Looks like Im too late bro. All the good one liners are taken. But

"Mira no me des pedo por que yo te mato"

has always worked for me.

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