Help me come up with a wise-cracking response...

Crono1000 · 07-09-2004, 10:07 AM

My folks live in South Carolina and I go to school in Florida.

so whenever I come back to SC to visit from school I get comments on how white I am and that I don't have a tan

"You've been in Florida for a year and you don't have a tan?"

Apparently, living in Florida automatically suggests that I live outside, naked.

C'mon, really. Excuse me for taking my classes INDOORS.

I usually respond with a sly "You know they have roofs on our homes there in Florida too," but I don't feel like I'm doing this response enough justice.

And I hear this alot. Especially as critical as my mother is, every time she introduces me to someone her near exact words are "Yeah he studies in Florida," points at my face and says, "Can't you tell?"

So teach me how to be a bigger smart-ass, I need some ideas. I'm sure albobo has some ideas

**IainDaniel** · 07-09-2004, 10:14 AM

Tell'em you transferred to Canada, we all live in Igloos

MaxMirkin · 07-09-2004, 10:19 AM

Tell them your new major, necrophilia, is very time-consuming & requires extensive work underground.

irontime · 07-09-2004, 10:22 AM

Just shrug and say that your face is between Titanya's legs too much to get tanned.

Crono1000 · 07-09-2004, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irontime

Just shrug and say that your face is between Titanya's legs too much to get tanned.

so what would explain why my lower half isn't tanned? Ok, I know, that's where your girlfriend is sitting

irontime · 07-09-2004, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

so what would explain why my lower half isn't tanned? :

Does your mom point at your penis and say "See how white it is?"

Crono1000 · 07-09-2004, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irontime

Does your mom point at your penis and say "See how white it is?"

**Dale Mabry** · 07-09-2004, 10:35 AM

Next time your mom says that, go, "Fuck off bitch, now go get your ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie.

irontime · 07-09-2004, 10:41 AM

You forgot 'before I slap you in the face!'

ALBOB · 07-09-2004, 10:59 AM

Cronno's mom to friend: "Yeah, he studies in Florida." Points at Cronno's pale face and says, "Can't you tell?"

Cronno to mom's friend: "Yes, I'm studying XXX-rated film production but since our budget doesn't allow for sun screen we have to do all our filming in my room."

**I Are Baboon** · 07-09-2004, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crono1000

My folks live in South Carolina and I go to school in Florida.

I thought you were from Guam or something?

Crono1000 · 07-09-2004, 11:02 AM

MaxMirkin · 07-09-2004, 11:16 AM

"My job at Disney World keeps me in costume all day."
"Really, which character are you?"
"You know that giant Mickey they have walking in the daily parade? "
"Uh-huh."
"Well, you're looking at his left testicle right here!"

ALBOB · 07-09-2004, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I Are Baboon

I thought you were from Guam or something?

That's his girlfriend Titanya, she's from the slimy depths of hell........................errr, I mean Puerto Rico.

DimebagDarrell · 07-09-2004, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxMirkin

Tell them your new major, necrophilia, is very time-consuming & requires extensive work underground.

im sorry, but thats absolutely fucking hillarious!!!

**Mudge** · 07-09-2004, 12:38 PM

Whats the BFD in the first place? Tell your mother to go solve world hunger or something instead of worrying about you having or not having your skin cancer.

Pretty damn superficial IMO.

At least you are in school and not hanging at nude beaches all day. I was born white and I'm still white, thats life.

maniclion · 07-09-2004, 05:03 PM

tell them that your lack of melanin increases your chances of melanoma.

I live in Hawaii, when I went back to the mainland I heard the same crap. I just reminded them that they can mock my skin all they wanted cause when I got back to Hawaii I'd think about them freezing in the Sub-Zero winters while I sat on my shady porch sipping a cold lemonade on Christmas Day.

Hanz29 · 07-09-2004, 05:20 PM

You should come home one day with lots of fake bronzer on----looking horribly nasty

she'll never bug you about your whiteness again

**Mudge** · 07-09-2004, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hanz29

You should come home one day with lots of fake bronzer on----looking horribly nasty

Now thats a cool idea

V Player · 07-10-2004, 01:31 PM

Looks like Im too late bro. All the good one liners are taken. But

"Mira no me des pedo por que yo te mato"

has always worked for me.

07-09-2004, 10:07 AM	#1
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,772 Photos: 11	Help me come up with a wise-cracking response... My folks live in South Carolina and I go to school in Florida. so whenever I come back to SC to visit from school I get comments on how white I am and that I don't have a tan "You've been in Florida for a year and you don't have a tan?" Apparently, living in Florida automatically suggests that I live outside, naked. C'mon, really. Excuse me for taking my classes INDOORS. I usually respond with a sly "You know they have roofs on our homes there in Florida too," but I don't feel like I'm doing this response enough justice. And I hear this alot. Especially as critical as my mother is, every time she introduces me to someone her near exact words are "Yeah he studies in Florida," points at my face and says, "Can't you tell?" So teach me how to be a bigger smart-ass, I need some ideas. I'm sure albobo has some ideas

07-09-2004, 10:14 AM	#2
IainDaniel My Role Model Moderator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 15,614	Tell'em you transferred to Canada, we all live in Igloos
	Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. Michael Jordan

07-09-2004, 10:19 AM	#3
MaxMirkin Cheerfully Offensive Join Date: May 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 3,696 Photos: 4	Tell them your new major, necrophilia, is very time-consuming & requires extensive work underground.
	The lions sing and the hills take flight. The moon by day, and the sun by night. Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool. Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

07-09-2004, 10:22 AM	#4
irontime The Original Jackass Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: If not here, then on some porn site. Posts: 5,101 Photos: 1	Just shrug and say that your face is between Titanya's legs too much to get tanned.
	If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself. - Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870)

07-09-2004, 10:35 AM	#8
Dale Mabry Moderator Moderator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Elsewhere Posts: 13,844 Photos: 10	Next time your mom says that, go, "Fuck off bitch, now go get your ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie.
	If sense were common, everyone would have it. 4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...

07-09-2004, 10:41 AM	#9
irontime The Original Jackass Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: If not here, then on some porn site. Posts: 5,101 Photos: 1	You forgot 'before I slap you in the face!'
	If god were suddenly condemned to live the life which he has inflicted on man, he would kill himself. - Alexander Dumas (1802 - 1870)

07-09-2004, 10:59 AM	#10
ALBOB IDIOT SAVANT Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: An alternate reality. Posts: 10,159	Cronno's mom to friend: "Yeah, he studies in Florida." Points at Cronno's pale face and says, "Can't you tell?" Cronno to mom's friend: "Yes, I'm studying XXX-rated film production but since our budget doesn't allow for sun screen we have to do all our filming in my room."
	Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???

07-09-2004, 11:02 AM	#12
Crono1000 Peelosopher Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 5,772 Photos: 11

07-09-2004, 11:16 AM	#13
MaxMirkin Cheerfully Offensive Join Date: May 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 3,696 Photos: 4	"My job at Disney World keeps me in costume all day." "Really, which character are you?" "You know that giant Mickey they have walking in the daily parade? " "Uh-huh." "Well, you're looking at his left testicle right here!"
	The lions sing and the hills take flight. The moon by day, and the sun by night. Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool. Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

07-09-2004, 12:38 PM	#16
Mudge Pizza the Hut Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 23,027 Photos: 1	Whats the BFD in the first place? Tell your mother to go solve world hunger or something instead of worrying about you having or not having your skin cancer. Pretty damn superficial IMO. At least you are in school and not hanging at nude beaches all day. I was born white and I'm still white, thats life.
	Kinesiology Vote @ Top 25 Deads Comp Bench Motivation Bench form MaxCalc Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu I don't know any sources so don't ask - thanks

07-09-2004, 05:03 PM	#17
maniclion Catalyst Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Hawaii, selling munitions for the war on EcoTerror Posts: 17,911 Photos: 10	tell them that your lack of melanin increases your chances of melanoma. I live in Hawaii, when I went back to the mainland I heard the same crap. I just reminded them that they can mock my skin all they wanted cause when I got back to Hawaii I'd think about them freezing in the Sub-Zero winters while I sat on my shady porch sipping a cold lemonade on Christmas Day.

07-09-2004, 05:20 PM	#18
Hanz29 on my way to ISSA Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Illinois Posts: 376	You should come home one day with lots of fake bronzer on----looking horribly nasty she'll never bug you about your whiteness again
	Vote Quimby!!

07-10-2004, 01:31 PM	#20
V Player Six String Samurai Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Dallas Posts: 1,313	Looks like Im too late bro. All the good one liners are taken. But "Mira no me des pedo por que yo te mato" has always worked for me.
	http://www.thestranglehold.com/images/pix/Batista.jpg Someday....I will be like you....

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