Reply With QuoteThat's the first thing I look for, in a friend.Originally Posted by DFINEST
Good Advice
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Thread: Good Advice
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07-13-2004, 08:15 AM #1Believe, Achieve, Succeed
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Good Advice
This is real good advice! Enjoy!
Down Home Advice
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the
toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink. "barf"
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in
your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.
Sometimes we just need to remember what the Rules of Life really are...
You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are
"I apologize" and "You are right."
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.
If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations!
You have another chance!
And Finally... Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.Drama is the result of an attempt
to find wholeness & success
in the midst of forces that have been
birthed in chaos and nurtured in confusion.
-- No More Drama
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07-13-2004, 08:25 AM #2Cheerfully Offensive
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The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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07-14-2004, 04:44 PM #3IDIOT SAVANT
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I am NOT your friend! Originally Posted by MaxMirkin
That's the first thing I look for, in a friend.
Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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07-14-2004, 04:53 PM #4Cyber Athlete ELITE MEMBER
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Originally Posted by ALBOB
I am NOT your friend! Isnt that backwards..?
Hey Albob, Theres a post in the Training section with your name on it(litterally) Should check it out.
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07-14-2004, 05:01 PM #5Full Contact Golf Player ELITE MEMBER
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Apparently you were having a really bad day. Originally Posted by Chain Link
Hey Albob, Theres a post in the Training section with your name on it(litterally) Should check it out.
"The First Rule of Fight Club is, You do not talk about Fight Club."
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07-14-2004, 05:10 PM #6IDIOT SAVANT
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Gee thanks, I'm soooooooooo glad you pointed it out. Originally Posted by Chain Link
Isnt that backwards..?
Hey Albob, Theres a post in the Training section with your name on it(litterally) Should check it out.
I guess I should spend more time in the training forum to defend myself.
Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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07-14-2004, 05:13 PM #7Full Contact Golf Player ELITE MEMBER
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There's no defending that one. Originally Posted by ALBOB
Gee thanks, I'm soooooooooo glad you pointed it out.
I guess I should spend more time in the training forum to defend myself.
"The First Rule of Fight Club is, You do not talk about Fight Club."
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07-14-2004, 05:42 PM #8IDIOT SAVANT
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I don't know, I think I did pretty well. Originally Posted by Sean0621
There's no defending that one. 
Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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07-14-2004, 05:46 PM #9Bohemian Extraordinaire ELITE MEMBER
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At choking yourself so Crono didn't have to bother with erotically asphyxiating you for the other part of that video not approved for internet distribution. Originally Posted by ALBOB
I don't know, I think I did pretty well.Coarse edged youth, the irish pendants string from their smiles
not yet plucked as to slacken the seams
and drag down the features of age,
no folds or creases from unkempt wear
eyes of tranquilty, crystalline-beads
no sign of despair in their hair, nor their hearts
but oh they have yet to be experienced and that makes aging so very worth it...ML circa2012
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07-16-2004, 08:19 AM #10Cheerfully Offensive
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So you'd change my bedpan just for kicks? Originally Posted by ALBOB
I am NOT your friend!
Thanks, I guess.
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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