Thread: Things we girls put up with...Men!! Grrrrr...

Can't tell you what to do, but I can share what I believe as a parent. I think that once a child hits a certain age, he/she is responsible for their actions. We have brought up our daughter in such a fashion, that at the age of 10, she is becoming more and more responsible for her actions. In fact, we are now letting her make most of her own decisions and only giving her advice when we think there may be a better alternative, yet letting her make the final decision.

As for the ex wanting to 'hang out' with your son, I think you did the right thing by having him ask your son about that relationship.

Originally Posted by Jo-Anna

I would rather that my ex-husband just walk away instead of being a bad influence on my son with his drugs and one night stands attitude. But what can I do? I can’t stop it.

True, if your son doesn't live with you, you can't stop your ex from seeing him but, did you express the above feelings to your ex? He should also know that you think he's already done enough damage and you'd like him to leave your son alone. (This is all gutt feelings, I have no experience in this matter.)

Thanks ALBOB for putting those posts up on the board. I feel the same way as your gutt does, I just needed to hear that I wasn't alone to feel that way.

Yes, I did tell him how I felt and I don't think it matters. I spoke to my son today and I don't think there will be any trouble but you just never know for sure. My ex was asking a lot of detailed questions about me - where I live, do I live alone, what's my schedule like etc... sounded like he is looking to cause me some more trouble, but I think my son caught on and didn't tell him anything.

maybe he is using your son to stalk you? it sounds scary. you are certainly not alone my ex does not see our children because he would be a major negative influence on them and the courts support me on this. luckily though he sees my resolve as a good thing and still supports me as a parent i get these "thank you for being a wonderful mother to our children" cards but I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him as they say.

Hey I know what those are like, I get cards and gifts from the kids fathers' family. And the Great Grand-Mother was very serious when she said "That girl has done a great job with those kids all by herself!" Oups... I think everyone felt a little guilty for not pushing the father to do more after that comment. I heard about it bigtime! But he still did nothing for them.

Originally Posted by naturaltan

I think that once a child hits a certain age, he/she is responsible for their actions.

I agree, there is only so much you can do. You can lead a horse to water, but the horse is going to do whatever the f#ck they want. I have seen it first hand with my brothers, we did not all turn out the same, not even remotely close.

Originally Posted by Mudge

I have seen it first hand with my brothers, we did not all turn out the same, not even remotely close.

So they turned out normal, eh?