One day at the end of class little Gunner's teacher had the
class go home and think of a story and then conclude with the
moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asked for the first volunteer to
tell a story; little Suzy raised her hand. "My dad owns a farm
and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asked for the moral of the story. Suzy
replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next was little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm, too, and every
weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator.
Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asked
for the moral of the story. Lucy replied, "Don't count your
chickens before they're hatched."
Last was little Gunner. "My uncle Steve was a Marine in Vietnam;
the helicopter he was in was shot down over enemy territory. As
the only survivor, all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine
gun and a machete. First he drank the whiskey so the VC couldn't
enjoy it. Unfortunately, he was quickly surrounded by a 100
Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran
out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more.
The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with
his bare hands." Teacher looked in shock at Gunner and asked if
there was any possible moral to his story. "Yes sir", Gunner
replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Steve when he's been drinking."