Thread: "The Village" Review(spoiler)

Originally Posted by Monolith

OK... so you've seen the previews I'm assuming. There's what looks like an 18th century American farming village in a meadow. The woods surrounding the meadow are filled with these creepy looking beasts... and the draw in the preview is "we stay in our meadow, and they stay in their woods."

So the movie gets started... and so you're obviously expecting a clash between the people and the creatures. So some kid wanders into the woods, the monsters get pissed and come into town, blah blah blah...

Then, however, you find out half-way through the movie that the monsters aren't real, they're actually costumes that the town "elders" wear to keep all the kids from leaving the village.

Towards the end of the movie, a blind girl has to leave the town to go to another "village" to get medicine for some guy who's dying. So she leaves, walks in the direction she was told, and comes to a big wall of vines. She climbs over it, and suddenly she's standing next to a modern day road, with a jeep traveling down it.

The punchline here is that the "elders" are actually a bunch of people who lived in a big city and were somehow disenchanted with city life - a family member was murdered, etc - and they had all attended the same counseling group. So they decided to leave the city and create this little village and raise their kids as if it was 1700.

So anyway, back to the blind girl. She's on the side of the road, wandering around in dirty ass clothes, when this jeep pulls up. She obviously cant see it, but the guy driving the jeep jumps out (from the scenery, we see that he works for a wildlife reserve - the one she just climbed out of). So he, amazingly, is somehow able to tell "oh, this must be a girl from the secret village hidden in the woods... i better help her get the medicine she needs but not tell anyone what i saw."

What makes that so retarded, is this: if you were driving down the road, and suddenly saw a girl covered in mud randomly wandering around the side of the road, and then she walked up to you saying shit like "SIR, MAKE HASTE, I NEED MORE MEDICINES! I NEED MORE PILLS!"... would the first thing you think of be "she's been living in an 18th century village"? Fuck no, it'd be "damn this bitch is high, she better stay the fuck away from me or I'm gonna run her crackhead ass over."

Anyway, the ranger guy drives off, steals some medicine, gives it to her, and helps her back over the wall. She stumbles back to the village apparently none the wiser... the guy lives, and the movie ends.

Complete and utter garbage. It was pretty cool for the first half, actually... before you realize the monsters are just old men running around in suits. It all goes downhill from there.

I asked Monolith to tell me about this movie, because I REALLY wanted to see it. Well, after hearing from a bunch of people saying that it sucked I wanted to know why.

I myself was hoping for some crazy monsters that eventually came into town, and viciously killed the town folk... but it doesn't happen that way. It turns out, as you can see, to be very different and disappointing.

I am glad that I didn't spend 9$ on this movie, and you will be too! Thanks Monolith!

BTW... This was MY idea to post this.

lol