Reply With QuoteI see no point to this thread.
One for the Girls - A Woman's Only Flaw
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08-10-2004, 12:55 PM #1Slowpoke ELITE MEMBER
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One for the Girls - A Woman's Only Flaw
You may have already seen this, but it is something to remember!
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands.”
The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands!? No way!
And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”
But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”
“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.
“Will she be able to think?”, asked the angel.
The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “OOPS, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”
“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear !”
“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.
The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride! “
The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”
And she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.Jo-Anna - Juicy Wet Member
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08-10-2004, 01:24 PM #2Cheerfully Offensive
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The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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08-10-2004, 01:27 PM #3Im hungry ELITE MEMBER
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I hope you didnt read that whole post Max, I stopped after 'Lord and Woman'
Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. Abraham Lincoln
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson RIP
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08-10-2004, 02:13 PM #4IDIOT SAVANT
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That's so touching and so true.
OK guys, you think she'll notice?
Rules? You mean we have RULES for that???
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08-10-2004, 02:40 PM #5Filthy Animal
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What kind of feminist propaganda is this???
But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you.
-N. Machiavelli
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08-10-2004, 02:42 PM #6Filthy Animal
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Pretty soon we'll be changing the name of this site to "Estrogen Magazine Forums".
But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you.
-N. Machiavelli
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08-10-2004, 03:13 PM #7Registered User
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Oh brother..
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08-10-2004, 03:22 PM #8Registered User
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me too.
Originally Posted by Spitfire
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- 14th Dalai Lama
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08-10-2004, 03:25 PM #9Filthy Animal
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Gotta love ya Nikegurl! 
But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you.
-N. Machiavelli
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08-10-2004, 03:35 PM #10Registered User
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backatcha
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- 14th Dalai Lama
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08-10-2004, 03:40 PM #11Lift or Die ELITE MEMBER
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My ex must have been a beta model ... cuz I don't believe Ive met this woman yet.
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08-10-2004, 03:43 PM #12Filthy Animal
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But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or for want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breeds hatred against you.
-N. Machiavelli
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08-10-2004, 09:17 PM #13Cheerfully Offensive
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Don't feel too bad BoneCrusher, at least you're not marring a beta model.
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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08-10-2004, 10:13 PM #14Believe, Achieve, Succeed
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I know the value of women.....
L.I.F.E.
Lust, Infactuation, Fornication, EjaculationDrama is the result of an attempt
to find wholeness & success
in the midst of forces that have been
birthed in chaos and nurtured in confusion.
-- No More Drama
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08-10-2004, 10:27 PM #15Registered Abuser
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dfinest, where ya been
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08-10-2004, 10:44 PM #16Believe, Achieve, Succeed
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Hey MCP,
I've been trying to represent,
more work & more playing during the summer big guy...
I pray that you're having a great summer my friend.Drama is the result of an attempt
to find wholeness & success
in the midst of forces that have been
birthed in chaos and nurtured in confusion.
-- No More Drama
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08-10-2004, 10:54 PM #17Registered Abuser
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actually i think this has been the suckiest summer, mostly cuz of work, but oh well, its almost over
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08-11-2004, 05:19 AM #18P/RR/S groupie
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Has anyone else noticed that mostly men responded to this thread?
.... interesting.
Sapphire
"Thank goodness that perfection is something I will never reach, which will keep me striving till the day I die" ...... GOPRO
http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17570
http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17638http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17567http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/at...chmentid=17622
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08-11-2004, 10:55 AM #19Super Moderator SUPER MODERATOR
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I passed this onto some friends and a couple really needed it, good stuff.
Motivation Bench form Charles Poliquin When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao-Tzu
Disclaimer: All health, fitness, diet, nutrition, anabolic steroid & supplement information posted here is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for proper medical advice from a medical doctor. We do not condone the use of anabolic steroids (AAS), all information about AAS is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you choose to use AAS it's your responsibility to know the laws of the country that you live in. Consult your physician or health care professional before performing any of the exercises, or following any diet, nutrition or supplement advice described on this website.
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08-11-2004, 12:03 PM #20Moderator MODERATOR
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A bit of a re-write with the changes in bold...
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have huge jugs, all replaceable and able to run on Cookies and bon bons, have an ass that seems to expand exponentially with age, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to an overdrawn credit card and do absolutely nothing with only two hands and bitch that she does everything .”
The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Absolutely nothing!? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”
But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”
“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.
“Will she be able to think?”, asked the angel.
The Lord replied, “No, not a single rational thought will enter her mind.”
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “OOPS, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”
“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “She's on the rag”
“What’s that for?” the angel asked.
The Lord said, “The period is her reason for being a total bitch for 5 days out of the month. It is a sort of a safety blanket if she doesn't feel like doing the shit she is supposed to do. “
The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”
And she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women Can ramble on endlessly with seemingly no point. They can argue a point even if there is hard proof that they are completely wrong. Women can also make their way through life without a single good idea save for the idea to wear make up and get a boob job. They can make money disappear much faster than it can be made and are much like locusts, they can deplete a man of all of his natural resources and move onto the next without a care in the world. Oddly enough, despite being absolutely horrible drivers, they can also get car insurance at a much cheaper rate than men.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY RARELY SHUT THEIR PIE HOLE.
So how's my re-write?
If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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08-11-2004, 12:16 PM #21Cheerfully Offensive
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Much better!The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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08-11-2004, 12:20 PM #22Registered User
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The rewrite is great, leans more toward the truth.
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08-11-2004, 11:21 PM #23Believe, Achieve, Succeed
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Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
.........HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY RARELY SHUT THEIR PIE HOLE.
So how's my re-write?
I smell FLAME dude, but I have your back brother
Drama is the result of an attempt
to find wholeness & success
in the midst of forces that have been
birthed in chaos and nurtured in confusion.
-- No More Drama
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08-12-2004, 07:09 AM #24Moderator MODERATOR
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Originally Posted by DFINEST
I smell FLAME dude, but I have your back brother
I apologize to all of the ladies for this one, I think my roommate must have logged on to my account and typed this.
If sense were common, everyone would have it.
4/2007-Current 75th Ranked most popular image 1 spot behind Prince's bulge...
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08-12-2004, 07:27 AM #25Junior Member ELITE MEMBER
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Your "roommate" deserves some serious credit!
- A hardcore bodybuilder is one who thinks that vomiting after the last set of squats is such a waste of protein.
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08-12-2004, 07:52 AM #26pedal pedal pedal MODERATOR
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werd Originally Posted by Spitfire
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08-12-2004, 08:11 AM #27Slowpoke ELITE MEMBER
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ALBOB - of course I noticed...
Sapphire - yes I found that interesting too...
To the rest of you - I put this up there because when you take the time to read it and ponder what it's saying you can thank God for puting us here for YOU.Jo-Anna - Juicy Wet Member
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08-12-2004, 08:40 AM #28Cheerfully Offensive
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God huh............aim lower. Originally Posted by Jo-Anna
The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.
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08-12-2004, 08:53 AM #29Lift or Die ELITE MEMBER
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Was that your room-mate ? Or an alter ego out of control? Originally Posted by Dale Mabry
I apologize to all of the ladies for this one, I think my roommate must have logged on to my account and typed this.
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08-12-2004, 09:30 AM #30Believe, Achieve, Succeed
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Believe me sweetness, Originally Posted by Jo-Anna
I DO thank GOD for the existence of all of you lovely ladies...
Who else would I move furniture for
Seriously, I do thank GOD for y'all
Drama is the result of an attempt
to find wholeness & success
in the midst of forces that have been
birthed in chaos and nurtured in confusion.
-- No More Drama
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